Back To Square One

Oh good, TB doesn’t have Lefty lollygag in explaining her community band problem in today’s strip. Yeah, it’s a stupid problem and it could have easily been explained in yesterday’s strip, but we also very well could have spent a week getting to this point. Unfortunately, I expect we’re still spending a week with these two.

Ah, the national community band competition… a great American 4th of July-ish tradition. Yes indeed, it’s up there with Coney Island hot dog eating contest and the international stingray decoration show and that thing Jimmy Smits used to host on public television.

In the reality that is recorded on the internet, I was able to find two things comparable to Lefty’s competition, but nothing exactly like it:



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

24 responses to “Back To Square One

  1. Epicus Doomus

    As usual, Becky screwed up again and now (sigh) there’s no one to perform at the annual Independence Day (sigh) gazebo concert. Sigh. Gee, I wonder if Dinkle will somehow (sigh) save the day? Yep, he’s “Type A” all right, if A stands for “asshole”.

    Obviously the big deal here is that Becky is wearing short sleeves, which I’m not sure I’ve ever seen. I can’t figure out for the life of me what’s going on with Chicken Becky in panel one. What the hell IS that? And correct me if I’m wrong but is that the bottom of her arm there in panel two? Maybe he just got tired of always drawing that stupid pinned-up sleeve, although he couldn’t possibly be as tired of drawing it as I was of seeing it. I mean what the hell, why not just bring the arm back at this point? Seriously, how many people in the world actually know who Becky is and why she only has one arm? Maybe twenty? I mean who’s going to notice and or care enough to complain? Just pretend it was always there, BanTom does shit like that all the time. A woman dies, she’s in the strip every day for years afterward, a band director goes deaf, now he’s fine. No one’s gonna miss a missing arm.

  2. Gerard Plourde

    Truly the Funkyverse is a strange place. According to Batty’s Westview logic holding a national community band competition on the weekend of the Fourth makes perfect sense. In a world where doctors midiagnaose their cancer survivors and English teachers are condescending and snide even to the parents why wouldn’t the competition planners go out of their way to pick the worst date possible?

  3. My prediction: the Bedside Manor band will perform on the
    Fourth, as it did July 4th weekend last year when it substituted for the DJ at the reunion. Now he’s rehashing stories from last year.

    And when did Becky know the band couldn’t perform in the gazebo on the Fourth? A decent organization would’ve give her some lead time.

    Not to mention the fact that the members of the Bedside Manor band might have more important things to do over the weekend, like be at picnics with the loved ones. Doesn’t Batiuk think this stuff over?

  4. Epicus Doomus

    Gerard Plourde: And not only that, they scheduled the event for July 4th and only told Becky about it the week before. But it is Westview, so it isn’t like anyone has anything better to do.

  5. Becky’s silhouette in panel one reminds me of the junkyard monsters from the “Silent Hill” movie. They had no arms but, just like everyone in this strip, they were filled with corrosive bile that they could launch for quite a distance.

  6. billytheskink

    Yikes! Dinkle might want to step away from the grill there.
    Is he the “as seen on Community” figure that recently escaped from the Chevy Chase wax museum?

  7. Rusty

    So, the Community Band was invited to a Community Band National Competition, eh? Edit, edit, edit. And how do these losers make travel arrangements? Will Wally go and bring his missing dog?

  8. Epicus Doomus

    Plus Becky leaves her own hometown in the lurch just to pursue some meaningless trophy she only recently heard about. I say fire her, just bring back old Dinkle. No one will miss her and NO ONE will miss Act III Dinkle either. Forget “continuity”, I say “Make Funky Winkerbean Zany Again”.

  9. Are we sure Harry Dinkle and Ed Crankshaft aren’t related? They obsess over their few passions to the exclusion of everything else, and don’t care about anyone else’s needs and wants outside of them.

  10. Here, more meaningless chatter about another of Batiuk’s pointless and annoying obsessions. On the other side, being told that tablets are bad because Ed Crankshaft is a moron.

  11. Rusty Shackleford

    The snark is off the hook today. Batty could be fired, and all they need to do is rerun his strips sans dialog, and then you can fill in the blanks yourself. It’s so easy! This crap just writes itself!

  12. HeyItsDave

    @Paul JonesCrankshaft is just Pluggers with more dialog. FW is getting that way, too…but we should hardly be surprised. Print comic strips (especially the ones that have been in the paper for 25+ years) are increasingly by old people, about old people, and for old people.

    T-Bats can rail on all he wants about these new-fangled inventions killing off his plodding old media. He’ll be dead soon enough and so will the old communication models, and all of his comic strips will be half-forgotten two-paragraph entries in Wikipedia.

  13. I just kinda feel this strip isn’t complete without a mention of you-know-who…


  14. HeyItsDave

    I can’t help but feel that the level set to achieve “Happiest man in Westview” is really low, HL.

  15. Professor Fate

    Harry as with every single FW character has the same response to anything
    “What about ME? What about my needs?”


    Guys, we’re missing the real plotline here. DSH John has died his hair brown and is cheating on Becky with a blond woman!!!.

  17. Rusty Shackleford


    Batty’s biases are so evident in Crankshaft where every old person is portrayed as a technophobic moron.

    Yet the seniors I know from the local doughnut shop aren’t that way at all. In fact they all use computers, have email. Some even have tablets and stream Netflix. One senior asked me recently how to get the newspaper on his tablet as he likes reading on it since you can easily set the text size and you don’t get newsprint on your hands!

    Batty really should get out in the real world once in awhile.

  18. @HeyItsDave: pretty sure it’s the zero Kelvin of happiness standards.

  19. The Dreamer

    Why cant Batiuk let Becky have an electronic prostethic arm? Batiuk is locked in the 70’s when people inher condition had to be one armed. Does Batiuk,not know that they make artificial arms now and quite good ones at that

  20. HeyItsDave

    @$$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$ – DSH John is just looking for a left-handed tug job.

  21. @HeyItsDave: Brilliant once again…

    Just wondering — Where did you find the Funkyverse font?

  22. HeyItsDave

    @hitorque – I’m a graphic artist, trained in the 1970’s back when fonts were rub-on Letraset decal sheets and layout was done with Xacto knives, non-repro blue pens, and red cellophane tape.

    The font is 100% cut-and-paste from FW strips. I have a big graphic file of common words, character names, and dipthongs, and I just CTRL-C and CTRL-V my way to completed dialog. Because it’s so much easier than the way I learned, it really doesn’t take me that much time to do.

    The actual font is something T-Bats had designed for him, and he keeps a pretty tight lid on it.