Captain CRUNCH

Looking at today’s strip there’s only one way this can end..

missingboaters

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24 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

24 responses to “Captain CRUNCH

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Oh boy. This is getting weirder every day, can’t wait to see how he totally botches it all up.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    I think we now know what happens when Batiuk forgets to open the window in his garage and the fumes get to him while he’s working.

  3. To quote a real comic strip sailor….I’ve had all I kin stands…I can’t stands no more!!

  4. Saturnino

    Compared to this drivel, Luann is like reading Thucydides………….

  5. Chyron HR

    “We are the nuts who say YII!”

  6. Gerard Plourde

    So now the trajectory of this arc is revealed. When do Wile E. Coyote and Pinky and The Brain enter the scene bearing a guaranteed-to-fail rocket pack from Acme?

    I should take that back – Wile E. Coyote and Pinky and The Brain exhibit deeper and more thoughtful character development.

  7. With a nod to Gerard here, I gotta say that the sheer cartoon absurdity going on is almost great stuff. If this were the norm, you could almost look forward to each week’s hi jinx in that wacky, surreal, Chuck Jones worthy FW strip. But we know what ultimately awaits us when TB comes down from the shrooms…

  8. Somebody please just shoot these assholes… This is getting too silly for me to even snark on.

  9. Krankenshaaften: Yeah, right… Ed is the second coming of Hal Newhouser and he can’t get a callup from the Tigers? Even though the revisionists in Toledo want to portray Ed as some ignorant backwoods rube who got conned out of his chance to make the big-time, the truth of the matter is he’s less pleasant to be around than a drunk Ty Cobb on his best days, and the Tigers probably just didn’t want to deal with it…

  10. billytheskink

    I’ll bet Durwood is going to try to expense Mason’s sail to the studio. Heck, he’s probably already expensed the black outfits and grappling hook.

  11. Let’s see… boat is at a stop but sails are still full of wind… the hook’s traveling in a circular path that’s centered on the hand NOT holding the rope… said circular path intersects the railing at the bow of the boat…

    This strip belongs in “Slylock Fox”–“count the physics mistakes in this picture”

  12. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    FW – I haven’t seen this much unwarranted destruction of a friends boat since Drop Dead Fred,

    CS – Shit happen. If Crankshaft was such a goddamn good pitchers he would have gotten a second chance or someone else would have picked him up. Besides who’s to say Crankshaft doesn’t spit the bit when he goes up to the majors. Many people pitched well in the minors and never were able to put it together in the majors. Can somebody get the worlds smallest violin out, again.

  13. (continued from page 1) The boat with which Fairgood and Roberts repeatedly rammed the container ship “South China Sea” before mysteriously exploding and sinking was owned by Cable Movie Entertainment and leased to alleged actor Masone Jar-Jarre. In a statement, Jarre’s spokesperson said, “Mr. Jarre is shocked and saddened at this loss. He was deeply attached to the ‘Lust for Lisa’.” CME’s spokesperson added that while Fairgood and Roberts were involved in the production of the upcoming “Starsuck Jones” movie, their untimely deaths should not delay the production schedule. “In fact, we might get into the theaters a few months earlier,” he said.

  14. I guess this is just TB’s (lame) attempt at providing some slapstick comedy relief to the strip. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not really much more outlandish than stuff that’s happening in some of the other legacy strips. In Judge Parker, we have a high school garage band that is expecting to sell $300 worth of merchandise at a high school dance. In Mark Trail, we have a group of people who are lost in a cavern for weeks, only to finally dive blindly into an underground stream and emerge in the ocean. And don’t even get me started on Rex Morgan.

    Oh, and regarding Crankshaft – I guess they’re going to be opening a new “shattered dreams” wing at the baseball hall of fame?

  15. bad wolf

    It’s been a while but does this remind anyone else of Grand Theft Auto-San Andreas? There was one mission in San Fiero where you were trying to board a container ship docked in the bay…. I dunno, weird reference for TB to work in there.

  16. bayoustu

    Gee, I wonder what the guys at Bantom Comics® did back in the day when they laid waste to the publisher’s dinghy?

  17. In another strip, with different characters, this could be quite funny. But Batiuk spent that money a long time ago. Nothing that Darren and Pete can say or do can ever be funny…the characters are just too loathsome.

  18. Professor Fate

    Author missed a chance here – the anchor could have wacked him in the head. Massive blunt force trauma! Wackiness ensues!
    What’s the line on this ending the way all the other FW quest stories end – with the pens being given to them by the Captain who is a Starbuck Jones fan.

  19. Rusty Shackleford

    Wow, the only thing worse than this is the story developing on Crapshaft.

  20. @Rusty – yeah, it looks like someone is setting up “a worthwhile person was denied his reward through shenanigans” storyline.

    All I can say is, Wow. Geez, Mr. Batiuk, you didn’t win the Pulitzer. Let it go.

  21. Jason

    Lets assume they get on the ship and have the ability to move around undetected.

    And lets assume the container with the pens is accessible. Container ships carry containers stacked several deep, and only a handful on the outside edge can be accessed by someone on the ship.

    And lets assume they get the container open.

    And lets assume they can find the pens in the container.

    Now what? They’re guilty of trespassing, breaking and entering, theft, and probably several maritime laws regarding piracy. these are real crimes. Sheriff Andy isn’t going to let them go with a stern talking-to. They’ll be arrested, prosecuted, and sent of to the Federal PMITA prison.

    As soon as they set foot on the boat, they’re dead meat.

    Please note that none of the consequences for these clowns is a bad thing.

  22. Rusty Shackleford

    @beckoning. Yeah like what happened when Batty was hired and another talented cartoonist was not! 😉

  23. Don

    Because OF COURSE the Coast Guard wouldn’t even think about keeping an eye on the ships awaiting entry into the port to see if somebody is trying to board them illegally…