drone, [v] 3. To proceed monotonously

HeyItsDave here, taking a break from playing Pokemon Go long enough to mock the Westview simpletons.

Today’s strip is ripped directly from the headlines of…what, November 2015, right? That’s when Amazon first announced they were working on drone delivery for a service they’re calling Amazon Prime Air. I guess that really got the ol’ creative juices going for T-Bats…too bad he writes this stuff so far in advance.

I’ve seen those little quad copter “drones” in action, and they haven’t got enough lift to pick up a roll of quarters, let alone transport a gloppy Ahia mess of a pizza. Can’t wait to see how this plays out…although, if the typical Batiuk Tony Montoni arc template is used, it will be several days of just talking Tony out of yet another of his spaghetti-brained ideas.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “drone, [v] 3. To proceed monotonously

  1. 1966tvbatman

    Geez Wally – eat a sandwich!

  2. A year or so ago, I was looking at the consumer-level drones and I noted something that would make them ill-suited for delivering food: longest flight time for most of them was about seven minutes. If you lived seven minutes from Montoni’s–and I pity you if you do–might as well walk over and pick up your pizza. You’d get some exercise at the same time.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    That’ll be useful for flying food up to the Comix Corner.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    I thought these goofballs WERE the “pizza drones”, given their propensity toward endless monotonous jabbering about nothing and all. I do like the little Montoni’s head on the drone, though. So, given what we know about BanTom, what are the odds that we’ll ever see this pizza drone actually do anything?

  5. Gerard Plourde

    An additional problem is that so far as I know the FAA has not yet established flight regulations to deal with large-scale use of drones for deliveries. These rules would be necessary once drones actually capable of carrying substantial weight are developed and ready for deployment in order to avoid the dangers of crashes and potential mid-air collisions.

    But, then again, why let boring reality intrude on one of Batty’s fantasies.

  6. That ugly Montoni’s head on top would put anybody off their appetite.

  7. spacemanspiff85

    And also, isn’t this ten years in the future? So this is basically the equivalent of someone now bragging about how their company has an email list.

  8. Here we are, watching Batiuk be an old man trying to wrap his head around something today’s kids are doing. Somewhere else, Batiuk’s reminding us that he thinks blondes are stupid because one shrieked in horror at the love poem he wrote her in the year 1965.

  9. Saturnino

    Well, this is a brilliant idea, never thought of before.

    After the birds attack the drone and eat the pizza, the picked apart drone can fly over to Centerville and clean Eddie Crankshaft’s gutters because that idea was never used in a “comic” strip before.

  10. Wally looks as if he’s about to kill himself again. I remarked on Comics Kingdom, “And the strip just shows what sort of contempt Batiuk seems to have for people not of his generation.” And here go again, we have Wally just standing by, looking and Tony acting stupid. There a tons of story engines in the strip, and Batiuk just uses the most banal thing he can think of.

  11. So I guess this time next year he’ll be working Pokemon Go into the Pizza App.
    Yeah, the look on Wally’s face is that of pure Westviewian despair, like the sight of this drone is triggering some latent PTSD. Maybe later this week, we’ll see Wally attack the drone with a pizza paddle after it takes flight.

  12. billytheskink

    I guess this means Montoni’s can stop red-lining…

  13. Merry Pookster

    Batiuks contempt for Wally and the military….good god it’s been 5 years now and Wally works in a pizza joint… attends Community College… has a champion service dog and is engaged…. you’d think he would shake the Schindler’s List role by now,

  14. spacemanspiff85

    @Merry Pookster:
    It was so much worse when Wally got home. Everyone had just assumed he was dead, and his wife had married the nerdiest guy in town. And most of that story revolved around John being anxious because he thought Becky was going to leave him for Wally, and not really Wally himself. It pretty much ended with Becky telling Wally she loved John now, and she’d see him around, maybe.

  15. Gerard Plourde


    So Becky showed herself to be shallow, disloyal, and self-centered, given that in sticking with DSH John she was dumping Wally Jr’s bio-dad. Says a lot about Batty’s view of women.

  16. HeyItsDave

    I do like the little Montoni’s head on the drone, though.

    Yeah, I would swat one of those drones out of the sky just to steal that little head and use it as a hitch ball cover on my truck.


    I can’t tell who’s stomach is wider. Funky? or Tony?

    Which are also probably the thoughts of the cadaverous Wally Winkerbean over there. I mean, geez!!! I know Montoni’s pizza is bad, just eat a slice, dude!! Or is Batiuk moving to exploiting anorexia?

  18. Merry Pookster

    @Spacemanspiff85….please don’t get this old AF MSgt going on how he brought home the longest held POW in American History and everyone in cancerville treated him like a pariah ..neglected to have the DOD give him his earned $250,000+ in back-pay .. and took his kids away….. Well on that last one Batiuk has taken everyone’s’ kids away…I mean all of them…like total.
    Let’s count the in-tack happy families in Westview…. okay..everyone let’s start now…ready now…no now…. come one won’t someone start?



    Oh, yeah!! I’m pretty sure the 19 year old prospects from the Dominican Republic, Cuba and poor areas of Midwest are just soooo upset they won’t be able to choose the fucking number 13!!! Forget about learning English, adjusting to life on the road, or pressures of success..choosing an number considered to be unlucky is the biggest thing on their mind!!!