Un-Bear-A-Bull

Link to today’s strip

Blech, imagine being stuck in a car with that cretin. Especially that horrible robin’s egg blue car of his…(shudder). A picture (in so many words) is very very slowly beginning to form here…Linda is “worried” about Bull. Yes, after decades of smirking at his antics in that condescending somewhat bemused way of hers, she’s concerned about her husband’s obesity or mood swings or something. Well, it’s about time. It’s actually a good thing that Linda and Dick Facey never got together, that much wryness would have torn a hole in the fabric of the Funkyverse.

The most hilarious thing about today’s episode is the way BatNom totally butchered the word balloon in panel two. Looks like he ran out of dialog there or something, I’m sort of surprised that he didn’t find some awkward clumsy word salad to fill all that space. Then again, Les is speaking so maybe he just took some mercy on us. Still though, knowing how he operates and all, it’s a pretty glaring anomaly. At least bother to print larger or something, you know?

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24 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

24 responses to “Un-Bear-A-Bull

  1. spacemanspiff85

    I wonder if Batiuk meant there to be some kind of pun with “no worries” and “I’m WORRIED”, but just forgot or figured using two forms of a word was enough and just called it a day.

  2. HeyItsDave

    @beckoningchasm – Nice. Also like the way you gave Les a Trabant.

  3. billytheskink

    The Batiukmobile is a milestone in alternative energy transportation. It is the world’s first car to be powered entirely by insufferability.

    Your mileage may vary, but Les’ won’t.

  4. My guess is that Bull gets into an auto accident and either dies, is horribly injured (paralyzed or throat injury perhaps) or accidentally kills someone. Then again, Batiuk has done car accidents before so maybe Bull commits suicide .

  5. A HREF

    “I am worried about Bull. First he was a dull brute that was about 6’4″ with blonde hair and full of muscle who bullied people then he was retconned into a 5’8″ fat schlub who defended you by making it look as if you pissed in the closet, now he’s being re-retconned again into the bully but still a fat schlub. I hear that too much retconning can cause cancer. Or maybe a stroke. Didn’t Lisa make a video of that?”

  6. spacemanspiff85

    My guess is she comes home, finds him in the attic reading comics, and smiles and bakes him some cookies.

  7. Gerard Plourde

    @ HeyItsDave – I thought beckoningchasm’s choice of a Trabant was a stroke of genius, too. But we should acknowledge that being owed by Les is an insult to the Trabant.

  8. ComicTrek

    Yeah, I noticed that, too. During *all* this time of disaster, death, PTSD, dark humor, general misery, smirks, busted knees, planes, comic books, car crashes, time pools (grrr), Lisa, cancer, fall cancer runs, actors, diseases, and John Darling….has anyone in Act III ever been shown to actually admit to being “WORRIED” about someone in a way that Linda just did? You know, instead of the usual moping and/or smirking into darkness about it. Because we all know that’s one thing a character in a drama, no matter how corny or unrealistic, will definitely almost always say. Which you see surprisingly little of in this “soap opera” strip!

    Believe it or not, I actually sort of like Loathsome Linda today. It’s as if she’s a completely different person with this Bull situation going on. More vulnerably human, not at all like her usual off-putting Batiukian self.

    Wait, why am I deeply analyzing this nonsense?!? GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

    Anyway, it looks like we may have reached a new level in Funky Winkerbean! Most likely a new low. But only time (p a d d i n g) will tell. Or not.

    @beckoningchasm: Aw man, that is too funny! Haha!

  9. iansdrunkenbeard

    I’m sorry that I can’t paste words into a comic.

    “Less, I’m worried about Bull.”

    (Less, c.u., smug w/ eyebrows arched) “How so, mon amie?”

    “It’s his memory…he’s forgetting to beat me.”

  10. iansdrunkenbeard

    Oh yeah. The speech balloon in panel 2 is gigantic because then it’s less crap you have to draw in the background. Coasting on empty…

  11. Les has always been crap at reading facial cues and is also a moron so this is possibly the first time that it’s occurred to him that Bull is angry about having to coach a new generation of inept athletes.

  12. The Dreamer

    Best guess is that Bull was having chest pains and drove himself to the hospital when he couldnt get anyone on the phone

  13. Rusty Shackleford

    And the story moves another 1mm…

    Batty is just milking the clock to get to his participation trophy, er, his golden t square award.

  14. HeyItsDave

    This arc is really highlighting what a shitty, lazy writer T-Bats is these days.

    Les smirked and baited his way through the tennis game with Bull the week of July 5t h. Since then, we’ve seen:
    – Durwood and his Favorite Pen fantasy (2 weeks!)
    – The Pizza Drone
    – Bathack’s brilliant idea for a PTSD cure
    – Loathsome Dinkle and Helpless Lefty mooning about band camp
    That’s five goddamn weeks where he could have been setting up the next installment of Days Of Our Lives Raging Bull, but no – we get days and days of talking heads explaining how all this could be happening.

  15. Ray

    And on the other side, Keesterman REALLY is trying to look like Paulie Walnuts in the last panel.

  16. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    I was about to wonder why nobody was concerned about Bull being missing, but I’m not even sure that Westview even has a police department. Nor am I certain that anyone in Westview actually gives a shit to look for Bull.

  17. bayoustu

    Predict-A-Bull: OK, I’m going to take a stab at this. Bull is enraged because something like… oh, a surprise anniversary party, etc. he’s been planning for Linda is not going according to plan. Yawn!

  18. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Crankshaft:

    Hey kids, wannna know how to be a world famous comic writer?

    Easy, just repeat the same goddamn dialogue from your previous strip and there! You just learned how to pad a strip!!

  19. I’ve a dreadful feeling this is going to be the slowest moving pullet surprise prestige arc ever. They’ll probably end up donating Bull’s brain to science fiction.

  20. Best guess is that Bull was having chest pains and drove himself to the hospital when he couldnt get anyone on the phone

    Only in Westview can you call 911 and get voicemail.

  21. Howtheduck

    @beckoningchasm
    That’s a terrific and a perfect snark of this story. Nicely done.

  22. News Flash: Montoni’s Pizza becomes first to deliver pizza by drone (in New Zealand). Whoops, it’s actually Dominos, but still… maybe TB is prescient after all?

  23. Charles

    So let’s map out this storyline. It started at the beginning of last week.

    Last Monday and Tuesday: Useless water treading as Funky and Les are exercising.
    Last Wednesday: Les makes a stupid pun about how Bull is getting mean.
    Last Thursday: Les worries that Bull is getting mean.
    Last Friday: Bull screams at a football player.
    Last Saturday: Bull drops his glass of water and it shatters on the floor.
    Sunday: Worthless Dinkle strip.
    Monday: Bull throws his phone against the wall.
    Tuesday: Bull leaves the school and drives away.
    Wednesday: Linda has been left at the school and can’t reach Bull on the phone!
    Thursday: Linda worries that Bull is getting mean.

    No doubt tomorrow’s strip will simply be a repeat of something from earlier in this sequence. Perhaps it will be Linda once again talking about how she’s worried, or maybe we’ll go back to Bull to see that he’s angry! Because, you know, some of us might not have been able to pick up on that yet.