Off Track

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. today’s strip returns to the Frankie plot-line which is horrible for two reasons:

1. Whatever these two dopes are plotting, please get on with it! Talking in veiled, coded language just confuses everyone. Even if you came right out and said what your Big Plan was we’d probably still be confused because it’s going to be something really, really dumb.

2. Most of last week’s black and white rambling from Jupiter Jones ended up going absolutely nowhere. One could credit this as a slow-burn sort of plot building but there’s so many loose ends that never get returned to I’m guessing there’s a good chance the jealousy Cindy has may not even be visited again.

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14 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

14 responses to “Off Track

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Can Batiuk EVER tell a story without week after interminable week of endless cryptic set-ups? Oh yeah, of course he can’t, as if he could perhaps someone might be reading it. Blah blah blah, Frankie (and the always-amusing Lenny) has a nefarious scheme of some kind he’s cooking up, a nefarious scheme he’ll still be cooking up until well past the point where it becomes little more than ash, at which point it’ll finally be revealed to be less than nothing. No rush, of course, as at its current pace this Starbuck Jones movie will be in production for another thirty or forty years at least. By the time it’s released Cindy will be doing “where are they now?” pieces on Mason himself and probably his future offspring too.

  2. billytheskink

    The joke’s on Frankie here. There’s no way Pete and Durwood have any “dirt” on anyone, seeing as how the they’ve done only two things during this entire movie production, jack and crap.

    TB should have stuck with the grayscale colorist from last week. It would make the whole Cayla thing a bit less awkward.

  3. 1spacemanspiff85

    It’s weird that Lenny thinks Frankie can’t even recognize his own son, given that he saw him a year or two ago. I do have to say that Frankie has vaulted to near the top of my favorite FW characters list, just for (100% accurately) describing Pete as a little creep. Although, it’s kind of strange that the reason he knows that’s Darin is because the Little Creep is with him.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    Wait a minute. Did Frankie go into this scheme with Darin as the target the whole time or did he cook up this scheme then just coincidentally happen to see Darin? Both scenarios are really stupid, but the latter one is completely totally batshit insane. Not that it matters or anything, as by the end of this week every single element of the story will contradict itself, like always. But still, if Batiuk would just f*cking spit it out instead of dragging out this cornball “evil villain” drudgery maybe we’d know and possibly even briefly care.

  5. Gyre

    1spacemanspiff85

    Remember that Lenny himself met Darrin.

  6. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “Dig up some dirt…inside track…” Excuse my naivete, but is this some sort of reference to anal sex?

    “Yeah, I’m going to hike up the old dirt road, take a cruise on the hershey highway, pound on the back door, go in through the…”

    “Would you knock off all the butt fuck talk, Frankie? We’re here to get some juicy gossip, not poop chute someone! Or are we?”

  7. spacemanspiff85

    The funniest part of this is that I’m sure Batiuk intended his readers to react to Frankie calling Pete a little creep by thinking “How dare he say that about our Pete! He must be pure scum!”, instead of how “Hey, when you’re right you’re right.”.

  8. Yeah. Super plan. Try to get two low-lives who spend their time day-dreaming and complaining about something they can barely work up an interest in to give you hot gossip. The most you’ll get is “moron comic shop owner talks himself into becoming unpaid intern.”

  9. So, uh…why was last week in black & white again?

  10. Assuming this is still the same conversation from Friday and therefore just a few seconds or a minute have elapsed, why are they now walking in a different direction?

  11. Pete and Durwood look like they’re coming back from burning one in the parking lot.
    Anyway, here we are – one week devoted to Cindy’s fragile ego, one week devoted to an inexplicably monotone lunch conversation between Masone and Marianne Moon after Cindy does an Irish Goodbye, and now another week devoted to the comically villianous Frankie and his incompetent sidekick Lenny hatching some half baked scheme that involves the two least important people on the movie set. At least there’s no Les or Dinkle.

  12. I can feel the gaping maw of boredom swinging wide.

  13. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    You know what? There actually is some legitimate dirt that Frankie could dig up. The waste of money Masone has done in flying back and forth. Forcing the producers to film in Westview. The near harrassment of Cliff Anger. The hiring of friends and relatives in dubious positions. Wasting of resources for personal needs. There really is a story for Frankie to report on here!

  14. 1. So at first these two celeb gossip stalkers were in a “roach coach”, but now it looks like they are slinging hash from a tent or a real building??

    2. As big as this production is, why are there not more people eating there, especially if it’s good enough for the lead actors?

    3. So how does this work? “Hey Darrin, it’s the long-lost biological father who you hate with the heat of a thousands suns! Give me the inside dirt on Masone, Marianne, Pete and yourself so I can cash in, or else I’ll… I’ll…”