Dr. Fivehead

Today, Bull learns that there is nothing modern medical science can do about his Classic CTE except…I dunno, some unspecified “things.” And although Bull can’t count the number of concussions he’s suffered, someone should tell him there’s still time to share a few more with Les. Just for old times’ sake.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “Dr. Fivehead

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Har har har, it’s funny because Bull is a stupid former bully who’s played for laughs now, unlike Lisa’s illness which was very, very serious business. Poor ol’ dumbbell Bull, his entire life reduced to a sad punch line all because of sportsball. The weird blend of “topical issue” and slapstick comedy here is sort of disturbing in that uniquely Batomic way.

  2. Paging Doctor Panel 2, Paging Doctor Panel 2, Easter Island is on line 1, asking when you’re going to come back for the tourist season, and also, have you shaved the silly beard off? Doctor Panel 2, please respond.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Just scanning an article I found from Scientific American, 595 out of 2552 NFL players had had three or more concussions over their career.
    Bull has had over 100.
    How is he functioning, at all?

  4. billytheskink

    So Bull had more concussions than games played (4 years each of high school and college football would be about 90-100 games), and yet did not exhibit any symptoms of CTE until he played Tennis with Les this summer.


  5. DOlz

    To be fair he got most of his concussions walking into doors clearly marked pull.

  6. MJ

    Over a hundred? Playing high school and some college? I’m not going to do the math, but that’s gotta be more than one per game.

  7. Epicus Doomus

    The idea that Bull has had so many concussions he can’t even remember how many concussions he’s had is admittedly pretty funny, but Batom ruins the gag by having Bull hang his head in bumbling loser shame instead of letting him deliver the line deadpan. In that single panel BanTom takes a reasonably funny joke and uses it to paint a picture of a sad broken man, a crude clumsy moron who stupidly ruined his life by being a dumb bully jock and now has nothing but rage and senility to fill the void in his increasingly useless life. This is why the strip remains so obscure, unknown and unpopular, as if there was any doubt.

    Coming tomorrow: WHS is rocked by the announcement that Coach Bushka will be becoming increasingly angrier and dumber. Les is deeply concerned about how Bull’s illness will affect him, as he’s concerned that having to pretend to care might distract him from his various daily smugly duties. Meanwhile Linda’s continued “look on with concern but say or do nothing” approach continues not to work that well for some reason.

  8. Don’t worry, after a few months Batiuk will forget you had any concussions.

  9. spacemanspiff85

    So, is it still funny how Bull sent the mascot onto to the field to get gang tackled, without any pads or helmet? I mean, it wasn’t funny at the time . . .

  10. spacemanspiff85

    Oh, and here’s a totally hilarious quote from one of Batiuk’s Flash ramblings from his blog:
    “The bane of any cartoonist is to make everyone’s head the same size in a within a panel”

  11. Typical. He hasn’t got the stamina or brains needed to get within sniffing distance of that damned Pulitzer and he’s babbling idiotically about trashy comic books. No wonder Stan The Man told him to piss off. He couldn’t hold Seigel or Shuster’s jocks if he lived to be a million.

  12. Rusty Shackleford

    What I’d like to see: Panel 1, Les takes the last bit of coffee and, with smirk, puts an empty pot back on the brewer.

    Panel 2. We see Bull charging in saying ” you’re the ass who never refills the pot” as he tackles Les.

    Panel 3. They both slide into the cabinets. The hastily taped signs fall off the walls as both of their heads slam into the cabinets violently. Bull says: and that’s concussion 102! Damn that felt good!


    I too am puzzled at how Bull suffered over 100 concussions playing an offensive position in high school and college. I think the real truth her is that Bull doesn’t have CTE. He’s just an asshole. A disease that unfortunately is as incurable as CTE. Tom Batiuk has had extreme assholery for years.

  14. hitorque

    So…. four years of high school plus four years of college gave him at least a hundred concussions? So he literally averaged ONE FUCKING CONCUSSION PER GAME in his career?? Is the CTE talking for him already, or does he not know what a concussion is?

  15. Eldon of Galt

    One hundred concussions. No, Bull doesn’t know what a concussion is, nor does Batiuk. Batiuk just went ahead and did the story, without doing one goddamn bit of research, as he so often does.

  16. Professor Fate

    Okay either the doctor is from Metaluna or the Author has seen This Island Earth recently.

  17. bigd1992

    I swear this strip has devolved into TomBat’s passive aggressive way of gaining revenge on his high school tormentors and former friends.