Cut The Cheese

Link to today’s strip.

You know how this could be funny?  If it showed three or four kissing takes, each one of them interrupted by Cindy, despite repeated promises that she would behave next time.  The director would get madder and madder, and Mason would have to calm him down, “Give her another chance, Mr. Popsicle!”  Admittedly, not a laff-riot, but amusing, and driven by the character, instead of the necessity of “running out the clock.”

I guess I’m really saying that this could have been funny, in the hands of a different cartoonist.  As it is, it’s about as boring as this thing gets.  We get it–Cindy is a neurotic mass of fears, jealousies and insecurities.   She also lacks any sort of self-awareness and is incapable of restraint.   None of this makes her funny.  Now, she’d be perfect in a certain type of comedy (the Three Stooges comes to mind), or as the kind of woman that a guy has to escape from, but each time she keeps turning up (Carrie Fisher in “The Blues Brothers,” e.g.).

Her character also keeps this from being poignant.  Cindy is well aware that Mason’s career depends on getting roles, and he’s the perfect type for “romantic lead.”  Which would mean a lot of kissing, and perhaps some bedroom scenes.  Cindy ought to recognize that a) it’s good if he keeps getting work, and b) it’s all make-believe.

That second part is really crucial; it’s something she should keep in the forefront of her thoughts all the time.  Which wouldn’t be a problem if she had some other way to fill her time.  Doesn’t she have a job?  Shouldn’t she be putting her energies into that, instead of blitzing-out every time she thinks that someone attractive is a threat to her?  As it is, I can’t help feeling Mason is going to wise up some day, and think, “You know, she really is crazy.  Time for goodbyes.  Where’s that old kevlar vest I used to have?”

Speaking of goodbyes, this is the end of my current stint.  Please give a warm SOSF welcome to your new host, Epicus Doomus!



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

13 responses to “Cut The Cheese

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Good old Tommy One-Note, finding a premise and absolutely hammering it into total oblivion over and over and over again. He’s working oh so hard to drive home Cindy’s jealousy which will obviously be integral to the idiotic Frankie gossip food truck thing he’s very, very slowly setting up. That’s the truly frustrating thing about FW, you know how it’ll play out before it happens yet it never does.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    Gosh, maybe movie studios shouldn’t let the crazy hag fiancées of actors hover around three feet behind the director for literally no reason at all. I think Batiuk’s on to something here.

  3. Jimmy

    Do you think Sunday-only readers have any idea what’s going on here?

    On on unrelated note, I have to give kudos to the art for showing us how atmospheric conditions on another planet affect kissing. It literally makes faces fuse together,

  4. It isn’t healthy or smart for people to still be way too high school this late in the game. For some reason, the sane, lucid Cindy of the best part of Phase II has been replaced by what’s merely an older version of the neurotic weirdo from the gag-a-day era. It’s as if Batiuk forgot that era or something.

  5. sgtsaunders

    Ah, Mr. Batiuk, that horse you’re flogging is dead.

  6. Rusty Shackleford

    Gosh, this is like a bad sitcom.

  7. Gerard Plourde

    I’ll admit I know nothing about the movie-making process, but isn’t access to the set restricted to people involved with the production? I can’t imagine that studios would risk the chance of a lawsuit if a visitor got injured on the set.

  8. Jimmy

    Don’t worry, Gerard. I’m sure Cindy’s nonexistent work on that long-forgotten blog earned her VIP status on set.

  9. Eldon of Galt

    That last panel is a well-drawn face of someone briefly swimming up from the depths of madness and realizing that they’ve done a bad thing. Unfortunately, it’s just a one-off, and there won’t be any kind of interesting follow-up.

  10. Gerald – since she’s technically a member of the press, and is (supposedly) doing a documentary on Cliff Anger, she might have a press pass. For upcoming movies, the studios will do on-set interviews with the stars and the director for the “making of” supplements on DVDs.

    However, members of the press on set should understand that they are there to observe and report, not to disrupt the proceedings.


    You know maybe Cindy was right. That damn scene was running to long. It’s not a porno, we just needed a few seconds of a kissing. In fact this movie is probably over 4 hours of footage. This movie will probably require a whole team of editors to get it to a palatable 2 hrs.


    You know, it’s not like this is a sex scene or anything. It’s just Hollywood kissing. Heck I imagine most people would actually be turned on at the prospect of someone else kissing their significant other….. Or is that just me….;)

  13. DOlz

    @sgtsaunders, “Ah, Mr. Batiuk, that horse you’re flogging is dead.”

    Actually at this point all that’s left is a greasy spot in the road.