Paper or Plastic Dirt-Bag?

Link to today’s strip.

Never mind the title of this entry; sometimes it’s really hard to be clever, as Frankie (and a certain cartoonist) can well attest.   So, like a certain cartoonist might say, you grab a word out of the material in front of you and think, “What goes with ‘dirt’?”  You might find yourself surprised by your findings.  And not in a good way.

Anyway.  So, Frankie and Lenny see Mason and Marianne walking away toward the studio soundstage.

Somehow, this gives Frankie ideas.  Big ideas–the kind his boss, Fred Flintstone, wants.  The kind he knows Fred will see, and he’ll get that maniacal gleam in his eyes.   “Boys,” he’ll say, “boys, this–this is good.  This is really, really good.  Yabba-dabba-do!”

And, using a bit of imagination, I can see the headlines now:

As Alfred E. Neuman once offered, “Perfect for framing or wrapping fish!”  What he once said about his own portrait might now apply to certain sections of the newspaper in their entirety.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Paper or Plastic Dirt-Bag?

  1. Since this arc is moving along so-o-o-o slowly, let me take this opportunity to point out once again that among the things that Tom Batiuk loves to render is the back of the human ear, and today’s panel 2 gives us a double dose!

  2. spacemanspiff85

    This strip is so, so, stupid. Does Batiuk think that actors really wander around the studio on their off time in full costume? Like, when they’re going to eat crappy food from a horrible named food truck? I’d love to see Mason spill mustard all over his space suit. Then we’d have a week of Pete freaking out over having to rewrite the entire script to explain how Starbuck got Cloroxian alien spit on his suit, and nothing in all the universe can get the stain of it out. And then Brady Wentworth would show up and cackle about how they could use that in a commercial and make millions. And then Darin and Pete would cry about how the creators of Superman never meant for comics to be used for monetary gain.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Yeah, the fact that they’re both still in costume is hysterical, as is the idea that they’d be eating at Frankie’s grubby food truck instead of their nice cushy trailers. “Film Food”…oh man that’s just priceless, Frankie really pulled out all the stops here, eh?

  4. spacemanspiff85

    I really don’t see why Batiuk thinks “Film Food” is funny or interesting, or worth featuring like he does here. He really seemed to be on an alliteration kick this week. I think “Reel Food” would’ve been better.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    spacemanspiff85: I also like how he thinks big Hollywood stars would patronize some weird creepy food truck with a lame alliterative name, still in full costume no less. Now I’m no cartoonist who pitched the idea of adapting a sad cartoon cancer book into a movie and got rejected and became bitter and cynical about it or anything so I’m by no means any sort of expert on how film making works. But I am pretty sure that they supply the cast and crew with food. “Hey! A weird ominously smirking guy running a food truck that just appeared out of nowhere! AND it has a really dumb name! I’m getting the fresh sushi platter!” said no one ever.

    And why hasn’t Darin alerted anyone about the presence of his nefarious estranged bio-dad on the premises? You’d figure he’d warn his pals at least, you know, the head writer and star of the movie but so far it doesn’t appear to be the case. “Sorry my evil conniving estranged bio-dad screwed everything up, I just KNEW he was up to no good when I ran into him shortly after he first arrived”. Good thing Frankie isn’t a known pyromaniac or spree killer, eh?

  6. It’s a long, stupid slide to a moronic outcome and it’s only going to get worse. Ah, well. At least it furthers along the final degradation and despairing suicide of Cindy. Once that stupid act of vengeance has come and gone, he might decide that he’s done and leave.

  7. Rusty Shackleford


    Yep, this is just the slow road to more of the same: showing Cindy’s jealousy and insecurity.

    Batty, Batty, Batty, have you no ideas at all?

  8. Chyron HR

    When Frankie showed up a month ago leering sinisterly at Masone and Maryanne, you plebs just automatically assumed he was going to make up a story about them having an affair. But a real writer like Batiuk understands that he needs to set the stage first by introducing a completely pointless character who orders them to come up with some dirt before sending Frankie back to the set to leer sinisterly at Masone and Maryanne again.


  9. Rusty

    Frankie’s harmless as long as they stay out of the back of his van.

  10. louder

    I guess that BatHack has never heard of studio policies that all employees are forbidden to take pictures, or share information about the movies they work on? Something like a standard nondisclosure agreement? This applies even to food truck jerks. I can’t believe how dumb this so-called writer is.

  11. Jimmy

    I’m starting to believeTommynhas turned over writing duties to an 11-year-old with ADHD.

  12. Jimmy

    … and Space bars are illegal in my house

  13. Bobby Joe

    I seen enough shows or movies about Hollywood studios to know that they usually have commissaries for the actors and support staff. Hasn’t Batiuk ever seen Blazing Saddles or a Columbo show where they regularly are shown?

  14. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    OOH! OOH! LEMME GUESS!! Lenny and Squiggy will cook up a story about MasonnEEEE and MaryFran McHooterstein (her real name) banging each other silly. Cindeeee will hit the roof, move back to Ahia, and become a sideline reporter for the 0-10 Cleveland Brownies.

    Even Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller see this coming. Because writing.

  15. @louder:

    Batiuk isn’t going to care about non-disclosure agreements if they get in the way of his plodding, pedestrian and pea-brained writing.

    Speaking of which, the depressing thing is that much like Lynn Johnston, he’s probably quite upset that we anticipated yet another telegraphed punch.


    ‘I’m going to bury Masone Jarr & Marianne Winters alive!!! Mwahahaha!
    ……No. Wait…that would actually be a menacing thing to do. …No of course not. I am going to make an obvious affair rumor that any could fabricate!!! I am an absolute genius of evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”