Marianne’s long climb
Continues in today’s strip
Third straight climb panel

No wavy borders?
Is this really happening?
Do I really care?

Nothing quite captures
Los Angeles at sundown
Like black-and-white film

Hoodie and short hair
Marianne continues to
Look like Summer

Did that upset her?
Being compared to Summer?
How would the web know?

Still no police yet?
Seems to support my theory
Of her ninja skills



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “H-ku

  1. Epicus Doomus

    That’s right Marianne, take your time. I love how there’s a handy ladder there too, how convenient! Batiuk is wallowing in his own melodrama again, killing some time while pretending to draw out the suspense and once again failing to realize that this old trope does nothing but enrage people.

  2. The fact that she looks just like Summer–someone Cindy knows–tells me that I’m right, that this is Cindy’s fever dream, and that Tom Batiuk is…well, actually, he’s deflating his own storyline. “Yeah, see how you HATERS of quality comic strips are making people kill themselves! Haters! Haters! Only–it was all a dream. But, still, QUALITY! Quality! I was nominated for a Pulitzer, damn it!”

  3. louder

    The shame of the stupidity here is that the drawing is actually very nice for Marianne’s “Dive For Freedom As A Chew Toy”, too bad the story itself makes me want to join in the Dive For Freedom…

  4. billytheskink

    If the average person reacted to publicly-released candid videos of themselves the way Marianne is doing here, Allen Funt would be regarded as one of history’s greatest monsters.

  5. Gerard Plourde

    @ louder – The drawing is good. While Batiuk is sloppy in his storytelling and inconsistent in his drawing of characters, he has real skill in rendering his settings. That’s one of the reasons why it’s frustrating when he consistently shows less care in developing storylines and fleshing out his characters.


    Ugghh, can’t she just take sleeping pills or something? The plotline in 9 Chickweed Lane will resolve by the time Marianne finally jumps.

  7. Yeah, with all this buildup it almost has to be a fakeout. Kind of like how Funky would spend five days acting like he’s about to fall off the wagon before revealing he’s drinking plain orange juice instead of a screwdriver.

  8. Charles

    Kind of like how Funky would spend five days acting like he’s about to fall off the wagon before revealing he’s drinking plain orange juice instead of a screwdriver.

    Blasphemer! Funky ordered his “vodka and orange”, but just sat there for five days not drinking it.

    The only way this could be worse is if Marianne jumps and dies, everyone panics because “the Starbuck Jones movie has only been half-filmed!” (and this will be the greatest concern of our heroes) but then someone notices that Summer looks almost exactly like Marianne so she’s conscripted to come in and finish her part. Summer will whine like crazy about how much Hollywood is victimizing her and how it’s all so awful, continuing to do so after she signs a four-picture deal for Starbuck Jones and basically steals Marianne’s celebrity, becoming a millionaire and a household name.

    Really, it’s wouldn’t be any stupider or more implausible than what’s already happened with this stupid movie, *every single step* that’s been shown about this stupid movie’s production, in fact.

  9. So what we’re saying is that it’s a beautifully rendered pill of poop. I can get behind that.

  10. the dreamer

    Mariane is going to be saved by Pete and be his new girlfriend

  11. Chyron HR

    It’s Xeno’s suicide–every day she gets halfway closer to jumping.

  12. sgtsaunders

    This reminds me of Summer’s rim rattler that took a week to drop. At this rate the first day of winter could be the last day of Winters.

  13. OK, Mariann, jump or get off the “H.” People are waiting.

    BTW, notice how Batty puts the horizontal frame members on our side of the “H,” but the vertical ones are on the other side. It would appear that his degree in Structural Engineering from Ahia Correspondence University was worth every one of the matchbook covers he sent in to get it. If only the sign were made of bricks…

  14. Comic Book Harriet

    I’m still tending toward this being a fake-out.

    But I actually chuckled unironically at Crankshaft today. So if Law of Conservation of Misery in the Batverse is being followed, Marianne will not only jump, but her corpse will roll out onto the road and cause the fatal accident of an entire school bus full of recovering St Jude’s Children’s Hospital patients.

  15. @Epicus – There is indeed a ladder on the sign. That’s one of the few details that TB got correct.
    I hadn’t considered the possibility that this could be a dream sequence, but based on his track record (time pool, Pete & Durwood with the freighter, etc), it wouldn’t surprise me. It’s a way-too-convenient method for him to attempt to make a point and do something dramatic without having any actual bloodshed. If it is indeed not a dream sequence, I’m expecting that our heroes will somehow miraculously deduce where Marianne is and rush to the scene and talk her down, then Frankie and his bumbling sidekick (and DMZ) will be subjected to extreme humiliation and possible legal action.

  16. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    I have no doubt at all this is going absolutely nowhere. If this is a non-dream, and if she jumps, BatHack will have to write stuff to deal with the aftermath. Heeyeah, right! He’s waaay too lazy for that. Assuming this is NOT a dream, we’ll find out in a week or two at this pace, MaryanneEE just went there for “inspiration,” and not to jump. But in Batty’s pointy little bald head, he will have taught all us haters, Internet Mosquitos, and Beady Eyed Nitpickers a lesson about all our snarking.

  17. 1. I’ve suffered from severe depression most of my life, and have regularly flown off the handle and/or fallen into a spiral of despair over countless things that most normals would say “isn’t a big deal”, and even this is making me say OH COME THE HELL ON! THIS GIRL NEEDS TO HTFU!

    2. Is it really advisable for young, attractive, naive girls with smalltown values to wander around secluded parts of Los Angeles alone, at night??

    3. As an enthusiastic player of GTA V Online, and a frequent visitor to the “VINEWOOD” sign, I was disappointed to read that people can’t access it that easily in real life… I guess it makes sense, though.


    –2. Is it really advisable for young, attractive, naive girls with smalltown values to wander around secluded parts of Los Angeles alone, at night??–

    Excellent point, Hit. Hell If I remember, there is quite a coyote problem in the L.A. Hills. She may not have jump to end her life.