He Who Talks Behind The Rows

SosfDavidO here, coming back after a power outage last night that knocked the humor right out of me!

In any case, here is today’s strip, which is a bit, well, alarming if you think about it, or just weird.

Any second, these kid’s parents are going to come back and see a strange man in a dark movie theater offering their under-12 kids a $20 bill. If Harry got the living snot beaten out of him you can bet no charges would be pressed, at least not against the parent.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “He Who Talks Behind The Rows

  1. billytheskink

    I can’t quite tell if Donna is upset here because Crazy makes peanuts working at Komix Korner and shouldn’t be throwing around what little money they have or if she is upset because they got rid of Tyler and Little Abby so they wouldn’t have to deal with kids and now Crazy is doing just that.

    The former seems most likely at first glance, but where was Donna when Crazy was spending dozens of twenties on Tarzan comic reprints? Enabling, she was enabling.


    1. I would love it if these kids decided to come to the theater every time a classic movie shows just to extort money from Crazy. Those kids just learned a valuable lesson in the value of holding the rights to prime real estate.

    2. Crazy has now spent 4 times the money it would have taken to stream this movie in your own fucking home. You are a goddamn idiot, Crazy!

    3. I think if I threw away $20 like that, my wife would remove and chop off every piece of my manhood. And i would take it, because she would absolutely be justified ind doing so!

  3. Gerard Plourde

    There is a point when a person’s compulsive disorder negatively impacts his family. This is an example of that behavior. Can he actually afford the $20 bribe? We could surmise that Maddie has either graduated college and is working or went right into the workforce after high school but her three siblings are either in high school or college judging from their appearance in the Komix Korner strip. He was laid off from the post office and probably isn’t old enough to collect his pension. I’m sure he isn’t making a lot of money from his job at the Komix Korner. No wonder Donna’s not happy.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    Wives, right? They just stand around silently until you’re trying to pay some kids $20 so you can sit silently in your favorite seat for two hours before a movie starts, and then they just start screaming at you for no reason.

  5. spacemanspiff85

    Also, what does movies being expensive have to do with anything? He’s not paying them to leave the theater, just to move to a different seat.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Harry is about as “crazy” and “zany” as a sparsely-attended funeral service in the pouring rain. There isn’t even a joke here. This obnoxious family (who’s attending a showing of “Casablanca” no less) overheard the imbecile babbling about his “perfect seats” and decided to swipe them just to be obnoxious about it. And Harry’s “crazy” response is to offer these cretinous little brats money to vacate his special seats in the otherwise completely empty theater. It’s not funny, it isn’t “crazy”, it’s more sad and pathetic than anything else. He turned him into a useless babbling idiot, he stripped him of his prized mailman job, he saddled him with the frumpiest wife in all of Westview and now little kids are punking him in public. There’s no level BanTom will not stoop to in order to wreak revenge on the cool kids from high school.

  7. Rusty

    Maybe Harry is the one suffering from repeated head injuries.

  8. I hope the kids take the bribe, sit in the row in front of Harry, and spend the entire movie talking loudly and playing Fieldrunners on their phones.

  9. Watch this. A year or so from now, we’ll get an overly-long arc that has as its basis the need to rail away against the cruelty of stunted fungus people twitter tots who call Crazy a sad loser who’d rather get put on the sex offenders list than stream his movies in the privacy of his own home like a defeatist.

  10. “MOOOOOMMY!!! DAAAAADDY!!!! That creepy weird old dude just offered us $20 just to sit next to us even though the theater is empty! Please call the police and our family attorney!”

  11. louder

    OCD complex, suicide, cancer, sexism, age insecurity, they’re all gist for the comedy mill in TomBat’s world; and he has yet to give any indication that he understands any of them in the least. Just pathetic, and to think, he gets paid for how he presents this stuff. I don’t even have any snark left after reading this.

  12. Again, this could be made to work if the movie in question was a Johnny Weismuller “Tarzan” film, in that Tarzan was supposedly Harry’s obsession. But Harry could take that $20 and buy a damned blu-ray of “Casablanca” and watch it whenever he wanted to.

    These characters could be interesting and it might be possible to care about them, if they simply weren’t Tom Batiuk’s personal preferences dressed up as elderly paper cut-outs. Barring that, they’re just not interesting or consistent at all.

    Barring that, how about jokes that are funny? No?

  13. Don

    Didn’t they say that anywhere from rows 10 to 12 had “the perfect seat”? Why not just sit behind the kids in row 12?

  14. Don

    …now watch the kids sit directly in front of them

    (Where’s the “edit” button on this thing?)

  15. Comic Book Harriet

    Crankshaft has a giant dildo cake today. Anything going on in Funkystrip is going to come a distant second to that.

  16. Yuck. If you have a strong stomach, check out Tom Batiuk’s blog entry of January 5th. Probably the most nauseating thing imaginable for this strip. Worse, it’s apparently in the works.

  17. @beckoningchasm: Care to give a brief synopsis? I refuse to give TB’s blog traffic, because if I start reading it I’ll feel compelled to e-mail him my unvarnished opinion, and then the FBI will be showing up on my doorstep

  18. Professor Fate

    Am I correct in thinking “she’s baaaaaaaaaack” yes? Ye Gods, I hope not but that has to be her yes? He’s found some way to force her back into the strip hasn’t he? With all the grace of a someone hammering a cold chisel into a cinder block.
    And the blog is a host of pain inducing features – one is a weekly exegesis of a Sliver age Flash comic that shows a heck of lot more care and thought than what goes into his plots these days , in the most recent post he complains about the world shattering event comic series that are the current fashion, and adds oblivious of any realization just how drenched in Irony this is, notes these world shattering events ” can then lead to some pretty ugly retcons” this form a man who retcons people mid story line never mind as part of a larger arc.
    Self awareness is not his strong suit one must say.

  19. Gerard Plourde

    His blog entry does appear to be foreshadowing some kind of Les and Lisa in high school story. Wonder what he’s planning to retcon now.

  20. @Epicus Doomus: I did like the fact that a family with kids walked into an empty theater two hours before showtime and *wasn’t* planning to take the middle seats in one of the middle rows (i.e., where pretty much everybody naturally tries to sit) until they overheard Harry’s official endorsement…

    As an aside, as someone with mild OCD, let me remind Batiuk that GOD DAMMIT THE HELL FUCK SHIT PISS TITS BALLS OCD DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY! This is almost as asinine and unrealistic as Marianne Winters’ “depression”… True OCD (at least in my case) deals with specifics (not just a general seat in a general location for a theater Harry knows so well), and more importantly it deals with a choice outside of the general norms.

    Case in point: Left to my own devices as a youth, my choice was always the center seat of the third row if it was available… But when I got old enough to date I wanted something in the back for obvious reasons… Then in the late 90s the seating layouts began radically change and the different theater companies ditched the old homogeneous cookie-cutter style so the front rows generally seemed to be much too close and low in relation to the screen, and comfy seats with the full back that you could lean in were situated in the rear half of the theater… But now in most theaters every seat is a full-back that can lean and the seating plans have been fully contoured and staggered to there is literally no bad seat in the house, even sitting on a far side with a seven-foot dude in front of you–

    I don’t know how the hell I got off on this tangent, but suffice it to say that I just sit anywhere now…

  21. @Gerard Plourde: Yeah, because the time pool jump where NONE of the characters had anything compelling or even interesting to say to their teenaged selves, and Les shamefully trying to bury the truth about Lisa’s ultimate fate worked so well as a storyline last time…

    And don’t get me started on Lisa’s last batch of videos directly addressed to “the second wife”…

  22. DOlz


    Oh god looked! Why oh why couldn’t my head have melted like in Raiders and put me out of my misery.

    You still want to know? Read on at your own peril. TB is hinting at an upcoming storyline this year. The picture is a silhouette that appears to be a HS aged Les kissing a pregnant Lisa in a prom wear.

  23. @BC: Next best thing to a Tarzan movie…


    Tom Batiuk assumes we like these characters. He assumes that we actually care about the “real story” between Lisa and Les. Batiuk…we don’t care dude. You had years to build up real characters. You squandered that opportunity. You’ve made me hope that a serial killer wipes out the Westview population and we follow the serial killers adventures a la Dexter.

  25. Charles

    Amazing that Batiuk actually showed a wife getting angry with her husband.

    And she should be angry, seeing as how Crazy’s throwing money around when he’s got a minimum wage job and three children, with one of them in college. So it’s probably Donna’s money that he’s spending so freely.

    I’m sure though that if Batiuk is called on it, he’ll make the absurd claim that Gross John is paying Crazy $30/hour or something, so he’s not really sponging off his wife, or spending money that his family doesn’t have on something so blisteringly stupid. (obvious non-scholarship daughter in college excepting, of course)

  26. Jimmy

    I’m confused by all this too, but I think for different reasons. I was under the impression that pizza was currency in Westview.