Cruel to be Kind

Link to today’s strip.

Well, today’s episode is quite “meta.”  Dinkle here is advising people–and there’s no sugarcoating this–to be colossal dicks.  His advice is downright mean–much nastier than just grabbing food and leaving.  What a truly rotten human being.   Again, the eternal question:  this is supposed to be funny?   That person in the front row sure seems to find it amusing.

I bet when he dines out, Dinkle pretends to calculate a tip for several  minutes before leaving nothing.  While smirking to himself over his cleverness.

No surprise with any of that, but what’s curious is that Dinkle is apparently chairing a seminar of how to behave at a convention…during the same convention.  I have never heard of such a thing, and can’t imagine any use for it.  It’s not like an orientation thing–“Welcome to the convention, here’s what to expect, here’s the schedule of events, here’s where the bathrooms are.”

No, this seems to be specifically how to be a colossal dick.  So…I guess they got the right guy to run this one!

What I’d like to know–

–is, why is “Fundamentals” written with an apostrophe?  That usually implies ownership of something.  Now, “Convention Fundamental’s Favorite Pompous Ass” would work –why, it would work beautifully.

Thursday’s Crankshaft has far to go:

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13 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

13 responses to “Cruel to be Kind

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “Don’t just be a dick. Be an annoying PHONY dick! Then maybe you’ll be beloved forevermore, like me!”. If Batiuk really wants to be a “1/4 inch” from reality, one of those spectators should be viciously beating Dinkle with a padlock in a sweat sock. Or a bicycle chain, the underlying principle is the same.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    Man, I hope people follow this advice at Batiuk’s book signings from now on. Linger around, get his hopes up, and then leave.

  3. billytheskink

    Well no wonder the Westview band spent decades selling turkeys as their fundraiser, Dinkle would rather act like a shmuck instead of finding a fundraising product someone might actually want… or at least one that didn’t give you salmonella.

  4. Gerard Plourde

    Is he unintentionally telling us how he behaves at comics conventions?

  5. @billytheskink “You can’t get salmonella from turkey. More like poultrynella!”—Tom Batiuk, age 10 (or 68—it hardly matters)

  6. He seems to have a rather unsettling love for monsters like this and an aversion to them getting real payback. This old fool will die a beloved and respected pompous sociopath and Crankshaft will not get burned at the stake by angry parents so life is by no means fair.

  7. Jimmy

    Worst keynote address ever. In a linear-time universe, wouldn’t this happen before Dinkle’s seminar from earlier in the week?

  8. Rusty

    Those Crankshaft strips you’re doing this week would be greatly improved with a 4th panel of Jeff stabbing Ed in the face.

  9. Jim in Wisc.

    Speaking of errant apostrophes, on the Funky Winkerbean Cafe Press store you can buy a coffee mug that says, “THANK’S, SIS!”

  10. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    This..is painfully reminding me of the individual sales strategy sessions I used to teach when I was in corporate. You gather a bunch of poor hapless people and infuse them with unbelievably false hope that they can actually make money selling a product nobody wants. That makes this strip for me, the most depressing strip this year.

  11. Hitorque

    Can we just fast-forward to the part where Masone Jarre realizes three years into production that he forgot to add a score and soundtrack to the movie and Harry is the only person in the world who can save him??

  12. Jimmy

    @Hitorque: That would be par for the course. Not only would it be a Westviewian being implausibly rewarded for nothing, it would add to Becky’s misery. I mean, of course you would want to hire a retired high school band teacher rather than a working professional.

  13. batgirl

    The smirking woman in the front row looks like Mrs. Dinkle (Harriet?) with brown hair. I don’t know what to make of that. Colouring mistake? Secret daughter? Some kind of role-play game between the Dinkles?