Link to today’s strip.

Dr. Harry L. Dinkle, professional dumbass.  Just yesterday in real-time, but just a few minutes ago in strip-time, he discussed pizza as a fundraising tool–especially how you can use someone else’s pizza to make them miserable.  And now he’s astonished to find pizza itself on the convention floor?  Well, apparently he can’t remember anything for more than a few seconds.   I guess that’s why he’s not following his own advice and churlishly reading the pamphlet.

One thing I am curious about–is this particular strip supposed to be funny?  Or poignant?  Or educational?  Does it serve any purpose whatsoever except as one more step on the way to the 50th?  Because I’ll be damned if I can find any content in this at all.

I don’t have any hatred for Tom Batiuk–in fact, I wish him all the luck in the world with his work.  I just wish he’d try every now and then.  But all the strips in recent months just seem to be one big nothing after another big nothing.  It’s difficult for me to even get angry at the strip–it’s just so boring, such a squandered opportunity.  He could tell interesting stories with this cast if he didn’t (apparently) believe that everything has to be miserable to be taken seriously.

What’s so great about being taken seriously?

Oh well.  How about another Crankshaft!  Funny how my phone hasn’t rung with an offer yet.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “Pizzacato

  1. Epicus Doomus

    You know how when you go to see a band that’s been around for a while and they always play that one song they think is a classic cut but everyone really hates it? And everyone is standing there just patiently nodding along waiting for it to finally be over? BanTom’s band turkey gags are that song.

    And today’s band pizza gag is like that same band introducing a (sigh) brand new song that turns out to be a homage to that one song nobody really likes. Mr. Square Head sure is scary though, I wonder what his deal is? Was he dropped completely flat at birth or something?

  2. billytheskink

    Give Mr. Easter Island here false hope by chatting him up and reading his brochures with no intention of purchasing his product or sign up to sell band pizza and put Montoni’s out of business? It’s a great conundrum in dickery. How will Dinkle decide?

    Maybe his head will explode. I’d like that.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    I WISH this strip was miserable. That would at least be something. With crap like this, I really don’t understand why Batiuk doesn’t just reuse old art and not even bother with dialogue. It would take as much effort, and be just as good. It would also make it harder to make fun of.

  4. What most irritates me about today’s exercise in blandness is that Harry seems to be genuinely disappointed that an old futile and idiotic means of raising funds has been replaced by a new moronic non-starter. This is because he never figured out the real thing about fund raising: selling something someone might like to buy.

  5. ComicTrek

    What if that guy in the end is a “time pool” future Pete? What a twist!

  6. Rusty

    I could never figure out if band turkeys were a real thing. Probably because it makes an okay one-off joke, but to do it for a week or two for 30 years made it seem like a plausible Ohio thing. Is he finally admitting it was just a bad joke>

  7. I think if you’re selling things as a fundraiser, it’s generally a good idea to sell something non-perishable, to encourage people to buy more than one. Take girl scout cookies, which people buy lots of because they last and the girl scouts have carefully controlled the supply. When it comes to selling turkeys as a fundraiser, nobody is going to buy more than one, and there’s really only one day a year that there’s any market for them, so it’s generally not a great idea.

    With the introduction of band pizza, we have a marriage of two of TB’s obsessions. The problem with selling pizza as a fundraiser is that it’s very perishable. If the pizza is being provided by a third party company, it has to be frozen, and nobody’s going to buy more than one or two, plus they’re in direct competition with the most viable business in Westview. Why would you buy a crappy overpriced frozen band pizza when you can have a fresh Montoni’s pizza delivered to your door in minutes?

  8. Jimmy

    “Fresh Montoni’s pizza” is an oxymoron, right?


    Well at least someone will be eating Montoni’s pizza. Specially since the place appears to be fucking empty every time we see it.

  10. Gerard Plourde

    I think he must have seen the Seinfeld meme that it was “about nothing” and took it seriously.

  11. Eldon of Galt

    I’ve been looking at it all week in the masthead, and now here it is in the strip. What the hell is that dot just below Dinkle’s eyebrow? It makes him look like he has a second set of eyes.

  12. Eldon of Galt

    Musician Maggie Roche died this week. I mention this because, with her sisters, she once wrote a song called “Big Nothing”. It includes the lyrics: “It was a big nothing. I guess I just never knew how big nothing could be.” I often think of that song when I read Funky Winkerbean.