What’s So Funny ‘Bout Pizza, Love And Understanding?

Link to today’s strip

“In a world of hurt”???? Sorry, officer, he was already like that when he arrived at the BMV. “I have to get back there”…yeah, wouldn’t want to miss that huge dinner rush or anything and it’s doubtful that the “staff” (aka half the town) could handle it without the fat, shiftless, stupid Funky on the premises.

“Your pizzas are my favorite”….favorite what? Pizza? Rat-killing method? Fertilizer? The list is endless. As is this arc, which apparently will just go on and on and on until literally everyone stops reading FW thereby fulfilling BanTom’s fondest wish…complete and total anonymity.

And you know, in spite of Funky’s incessant whining, this fictional Ohio BVM is actually quite an efficient operation. Funky lets his DL lapse for a year, shows up with all the wrong documents and somehow manages to re-take the road test all within a few hours. In NJ that would take seven separate visits and a minimum of several months, at a minimum. So really it just makes his endless griping seem all the more petty, obnoxious and stupid.

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21 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “What’s So Funny ‘Bout Pizza, Love And Understanding?

  1. “In a world of hurt.” Obviously Trooper reads Funky’s strip and CRANKSHAFT.

    And I’m worried I’ll be in a bigger world of hurt, since it looks as if the storyline will continue for another week.

  2. “I have to give the shout-out to Montoni’s, because…of things! Yet I must also castigate you, strip-name Funky Winkerbean, because…of things! You are not Les Moore, Funky, so you get no credits!”

  3. billytheskink

    Two groups of people you ought to go out of your way not to anger, law enforcement and folks who prepare your food. This strip is like Clash Of The Titans, if Ray Harryhausen was Tom Batiuk’s editor…

  4. spacemanspiff85

    Don’t worry, Funky. I’m sure Harry can pour his own coffee.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    Meanwhile back at Montoni’s….

    “Which side does the cheese go on? WHICH SIDE DOES THE CHEESE GO ON????”

    “Excuse me, miss? I’m in a hurry here, where’s the fat miserable guy who stands around making dumb jokes about how shitty the food is?”

    “Oh no! Another customer! That makes two! I’m swamped here!!!”

  6. I just wish we had someone as ready to bust a title character’s balls on Crankshaft as we are here. Yet again, they’re about to let him go right on being a surly incompetent driver until he kills people.

  7. spacemanspiff85

    Wasn’t there an epic years ago (back when this strip actually had legitimate plots) about how Funky’s pizzas actually sucked, and everyone he knew had to have an intervention because of that? I’d think they’d be better off without him at Montoni’s.

  8. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “You own Montoni’s? I got the shits from eating there last week!”

  9. ComicTrek

    Okay, I admit – I actually like Funky’s expression in the second panel. The thing about it is, at the mere mention of Montoni’s, Mr. Officer cops the default “annoying deranged maniac” face and screams his affections for said pizza in an excessive way. Irritating to us, but so pleasant to Funky that he actually gives a genuine smile. No smirk, no sad smirk, no scowl or hatchet face. So what truly makes him happy in life? Not comics. Not Les. Not Holly or Cory or football or high school. Just a bit of praise and acknowledgement in this thankless town for his pizzas.

    That probably isn’t the case, but you know that Batiuk could take that idea and make something totally interesting out of it IF he really wanted to give it any effort at all! 😡

  10. According to Ohio Revised Code 4511.69, parking in a handicap space is a misdemeanor, punishable by possible towing at your expense (obviously not happening in this case, unless tomorrow’s gag is that the camera pulls back to reveal the Funkmobile on a hook) and a fine of $250-500. No drivers license points, so it’s not like Funky committed a moving violation during his driving test.

    “World of hurt” ain’t what it used to be.

  11. I’m tempted to think that the second panel is how Funky imagines the trooper to react, when the trooper did not, in fact, offer any opinions on Montoni’s.

    The only flaw in that theory is that it requires Funky to imagine something nice happening, and I don’t think he’s capable of that any more.

  12. Hitorque

    1.Good old Ohio, where parking in a handicapped space is worse than DUI manslaughter…

    2. I don’t care — I WANT AN EXPLANATION on why that cop crammed into the passenger seat to give Funkmaster Flex a ticket… And why the conversation when a parking ticket literally takes like 20 seconds to fill out?

  13. Hitorque

    3. Tomorrow, to officially make this strip Peak Batiuk, the cop MUST drop a reference to Starbuck Jones and how great the old classic comics were…

  14. billytheskink

    Wasn’t there an epic years ago (back when this strip actually had legitimate plots) about how Funky’s pizzas actually sucked, and everyone he knew had to have an intervention because of that? I’d think they’d be better off without him at Montoni’s.

    That did happen, kinda. In mid-2008 Tony returned (or is visited a better term?) from Florida to find that Funky had started using cheaper ingredients to cut costs and decided to lead a “pizza intervention”. We never actually see it.
    This was the culmination of several people telling Funky he was a workaholic over the course of several months. Les, Khahn, Crazy, and Holly (after Funky missed their anniversary) all chided him before Tony said he was going to.

    It should be noted that it was not until after this “intervention” supposedly took place that Montoni’s fell into hard times and had to shutter its New York and other locations outside of Westview. Funky blamed greedy Wall Street, but it’s hard not to see Tony’s griping, Holly demanding that he delegate work to his idiot employees, and his liberal hiring of friends and family (Les, Summer, Keisha, and Wally all began working for him during this time) as major factors in Montoni’s contraction.

  15. Yes, the first thing I do when a police officer is citing me for an egregiously negligent violation is tell them that I am in a hurry and stress how much more important I am than them. I expect the rest of the road test to go just as well.

  16. Billy the Skink: , and his liberal hiring of friends and family (Les, Summer, Keisha, and Wally all began working for him during this time)

    Not to mention Cory–who wasn’t so much hired as he was shanghaied–who didn’t want to be there. I was just hoping he’d bust a cap in Les during that time.

  17. Comic Book Harriet

    “The only flaw in that theory is that it requires Funky to imagine something nice happening, and I don’t think he’s capable of that any more.”

    Well, we know from a few weeks ago that he can imagine his wife in kinky S&M gear. Don’t know if that’s ‘something nice’ for him or not.

  18. @billytheskink: In mid-2008 Tony returned…to find that Funky had started using cheaper ingredients to cut costs and decided to lead a “pizza intervention”. We never actually see it.

    Great recall, BTS! Here’s the whole arc…



  19. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    @Hitorque

    Yeah, isn’t dangerous for an officer to go into the passengers side of a car with a suspect? I mean granted it’s just a parking violation, but Funky could have a gun or a knife hidden. I guess police officers in the Funkyverse are just as anxious to die as the rest of the populace..

  20. Hitorque

    @TFHackett What the hell was Les doing working there? He get laid off from the high school or something…

    Montoni’s Pizza is a bigger pipeline of cronyism hires than the Starbuck Jones movie project!

  21. billytheskink

    Les started working at Montoni’s as the weekend manager in early 2008 after Khahn refused to work weekends. Les claimed he took the job in order to save money to send Summer to college. This was almost plausible at the time, before TB shoved a four leaf clover up Les’ rectum and he got a book deal, national signing tour, movie option check, and kill fee (not to mention not having to spring for college for Summer or Keisha, who both earned basketball scholarships).

    Les got the job in the most Les way possible too, by taking the piece of paper with the job description out of Funky’s hand right after he had written it, tearing it up, and then smugly telling Funky he was “applying” for the job.