April 2017 – Page 3 – Son of Stuck Funky

Big Brother Is Watching You Eat

Comic Book Harriet asked a relevant question yesterday–is this vendo in the school, or the Komix Korner? We were, after all, dealing with two characters shown in the Korner in the previous day’s strip.

Well, today’s professionally taped sign gives us the answer. Although Bernie’s still wearing the same shirt as yesterday–does that mean he only has one shirt? Shades of Les Moore! (Spoilers: he seems to have two, this one and another just like it in red. I guess he alternates them seasonally.)

Other than that, it’s just another sad episode of how badly Tom Batiuk’s sense of humor has atrophied. School food, that’s always timely–but, I should shake it up somehow. He’s obviously trying, he’s even abandoned the safe, tried-and-true cafeteria in an attempt to recast the joke–but it’s the same old cafeteria fare, just drenched in a different bland sauce.

Neither one is edible.

Older than the punchline, even

Link to today’s strip.

Didn’t they get rid of the vendos? Oh well, only idiots like readers expect things like continuity. Obviously, since this strip is based in reality, the things in the vendo would be kept up to date, and anything past its sell-by date would be removed…much like a comic strip might be removed from a paper for something fresher and more filling.

Anyway, I guess this is supposed to be funny. It clearly isn’t meant to be poignant, or educational, or anything. And I guess I have to give a bit of credit for the (I think) attempt, even though it falls on its face.

I’m not sure what we’re supposed to make of Bernie. I had thought, with his interest in chess and the band, that he was going to turn out to be a smart character. Here–well, I don’t know. Is he dumb for wanting something from the vendos, or is he just naive? In the first panel he looks cynical and weary, in the second, he looks alarmed.

Oh well, I’ve already put more effort into interpreting this than it warrants. On to tomorrow.

The Lestitute

Link to today’s strip.

When Bernie first appeared in the strip, my recollection is that he was a fairly well-adjusted kid who refused to be intimidated by Chullo’s newfound bullying powers. Since then, he’s joined the school’s newscast group and chess club, and (of course, like everyone other than the hated sportos) become a member of the band. Despite his interest in comic books, he seemed like a normal, happy kid.

Alas, those days are over now. It sure looks to me like he’s being groomed to be the new Les. You know, the guy who only has two Facebook friends–because he’s just too good for anyone else to really appreciate him on his own level. The sneer on his face in that last panel really sells it.

But maybe not. Maybe he’s just being shown as a schmuck who no one likes. Giving him a big push would be a lot of work on a certain cartoonist’s behalf, and that cartoonist just doesn’t seem up to that task anymore. Even just a few years ago, there were a whole bunch of student characters. Then that got whittled down to Chullo, Glasses and Wedgman. And then that got whittled down to Bernie and some pre-existing characters ported over from Crankshaft…all of whom rarely appear anyway.

Still, aside from the Crankshaft Twins, I think he’s the only new student who even has a name. The one guy who dissed Harry Dinkle a few days ago makes (I think) a third appearance, and he’s not been given a name. I think from now on I’ll call him Thatsnought Hewmore.

Let’s Go to the Tape

Link to today’s strip.

How many years has Les been teaching at Westview High? And yet, according to panel two, he still has to tape a paper sign to his window. You’d think the teachers would have little engraved signs on the doors or windows, but no, No One Will Escape…The Entapening. (This film has not yet been rated.)

Is Tom Batiuk on the payroll of the 3M company? That…actually, that wouldn’t surprise me.

As far as the actual content of the strip is concerned, I can’t make any sense out of it. He wants them to be prepared for the test, and that’s fine, but then he goes on into nonsense land.

Just as an experiment, I went back though this years strips and replaced his last panel dialogue with something else. With one exception, these are unaltered. The slightly altered one is first. I think they make just as little sense as the original, but are improvements nonetheless.

Harper Les

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, folks, BChasm here, back behind the soundboard. Thank you, TFH, for a typically stellar performance–now I know what it was like, back when The Monkees followed their opening act, Jimi Hendrix, on to the stage.

The secret to being a good guest host is working with good material and bringing out something unique. The secret to being a great guest host is working with no material at all and coming up with something, which brings me to today’s piffle.

I guess it was about a year ago that Harper Lee published Go Set A Watchman, and I further guess that Tom Batiuk thought that would be suitable grist for his mill…somehow. I always assume that all of Les’ students are idiots, so I’ve learned nothing new about Amelia (whichever of the twins she is). But once again Les shows himself to be a colossal dick.

In my time in school, all the way through college, I never had a professor mock me by reading out one of my incorrect answers. And I fail to see what point Les is trying to make. If he thinks she’s not paying attention, a simple “Please see me after classes” written on the exam would suffice just fine. During which the teacher would discuss the student’s difficulties and make suggestions. You know, trying to help the student–something he’s supposed to be doing–rather than taking the opportunity to show what an ass he is.

So, I suspect Les’ after class meeting would start with some stupid wordplay and might finally get around to asking Amelia about her class performance. Then she’d respond to his question, “Gee, Mr. Moore, you’re so boring. You drone on and on about your dead wife when you’re not making these awful puns. I’m going back to Crankshaft.”

That might be a nice thing to be able to do, any other teacher would think. Somehow, though, I suspect Les finds it just fine in Westview, where all must celebrate his dickery.