Phonies

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, folks, BChasm back in the stagnant pool for the next two weeks!  Strap yourselves in and get ready for excitement!  Ha ha, just kidding, I meant to say “excrement.”

So, we’re back with Dullard and Blondie, whose name I don’t remember and don’t really care to.   Dullard, looking weary as usual, opens the door and then rummages in his purse for his keys…hey, that’s doing it backwards!  Anyway, he overhears part of a conversation which gives his tiny brain a momentary pause.

Admittedly, he might have a reason to worry.  If you’re talking about a bad thing (“I have cancer”), you’d phrase it in the way that Blondie phrases it.  If you’re talking about a good thing (“I bought Dullard some of his favorite pencils for a surprise”) you’d probably add a phrase like “until the big day” or something.  So it sounds kind of bad, especially if you’re of the mind that everything that happens is terrible, which certainly describes our cast.

However, the fact that she utters the phrase at all is pretty baffling here.  How dense is Blondie, that she seems unaware that a door has just opened behind her?  Pretty dense, I am gathering.  This could have been fixed if panel one showed Dullard rummaging in his purse, then bumping the door which slowly opens, i.e., it was not really closed and could open silently.  But that’s not what we’re shown.  And, I should point out, I’m not a professional cartoonist.  Is there a professional cartoonist in the house?

Editors?  We don’t need no steenkin Editors!

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12 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “Phonies

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “Oh boy! Boy Lisa!” said no one, ever. I’m assuming the “big secret” is all just a delightful comical misunderstanding that will take forever to play out until it’s revealed to be nothing…which describes an alarming number of FW arcs now that I think about it.

  2. billytheskink

    In a remarkable coincidence, I don’t want to find out either.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Please, please, please let it be an affair with Pete. Or better yet, Funky.

  4. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    If you can’t tell male from female characters, the new artist (RB) is doing a good job keeping the drawing consistent. I thought it was two women until I saw the name “Darin”. A good, contemporary story line could have Darin undergo gender reassignment surgery, handled in the sensitive, nuanced manner we’ve come to expect from FW.

  5. We’re in for an accidental deconstruction of Three’s Company’s bread and butter: a harmless situation turned into a ludicrous farce because a nitwit hears a snippet of a conversation and assumes the worst because he or she is as dumb as Chrissy is really.

  6. @Paul Jones–GIL THORP did a similar storyline ten years ago, when one of the softball players thought Mimi had cancer. Unless Blondie McBimbo IS actually having an affair–which I rather doubt–this will just be another garbage storyline.

  7. bobanero

    My money’s on a surprise party of some sort. I assume that, since Jessica is smiling, it’s not bad news. Anyway, it’s great to see that she finally made it to California with the rental truck. Do you think we’ll see Skyler again before he reaches High School age?

  8. Max Power

    This same premise was dragged out over two weeks with Funky taking the “mysterious” phone call and Montoni as the concerned eavesdropper (circa 2005). Ultimately the readers discovered that Funky was planning a…Montoni’s Little League team reunion.

  9. Madcougar92

    Seeing as how Les is irresistible to woman, this can only mean one thing. Les is doing Blondie!

  10. bayoustu

    My, my- Durwood certainly looks overjoyed to be home after a long day clambering onto freighter ships to steal pencils.

  11. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    I’m glad I am not the only one who noticed how womanly Durwood was. I guess Mopey Pete’s problem of finding a girl is now solved.

  12. SpacemanSpiff85

    What would be legitimately awesome would be if she was screwing Mason. We’d get probably two weeks of Darin moping- “Well, he did get me this job, but still . . .”. And it would basically be the perfect ending for Batiuk’s obsession with crapping all over Cindy, since Mason would be leaving her for someone who was literally created by Batiuk to be a younger version of Cindy.