The Chick is in the Male

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, I know the implication we’re supposed to take from this is that Blondie is cheating on Dullard.  But there are two things wrong with this scenario.

Firstly, Tom Batiuk seems to want to pull this “innocent happening taken as indecent” stunt again, after we’d just had the “Marianne Winters kills herself over kiss photo.”  We know it’s going to turn out to be a big nothingburger.   “Blondie has an affair” is not going to be on the menu.   It’s a tease and everyone knows it’s a tease.

Secondly, this is Funky WinkerbeanExciting (or even interesting) things are not allowed in this strip.

What I find most baffling about this episode is the architecture.  Yesterday, Dullard opened the door right behind Blondie.  Today, she goes wandering through the house, blithely unaware that Dullard is sneaking around behind her.  Just how stupid and unaware is she supposed to be?  Isn’t she supposed to be looking after a toddler, or has Skyler already wandered off to play in traffic?   (Who wants to bet Skyler won’t make an appearance this week?  Didn’t think so.)

Well, she’s a female character in Funky Winkerbean.  I guess that answers that.  Stupid and unaware are two of the major traits of the women in this strip.  Throw in “fat” and Blondie’s future in this strip is set in cement.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

8 responses to “The Chick is in the Male

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Stall tactics…forty-whatever years of stall tactics. Boy Lisa (complete with updated schnozz, BTW) will fret, fret and fret some more and then, just like BC said above, it’ll be absolutely nothing. A shipment of Montoni’s pizzas, some new drawing pens, a rare comic book…I mean what else could it possibly be? Again, like BC said above, it’s FW…nothing EVER actually “happens”.

  2. billytheskink

    Yes, don’t send anything in the physical mail, mystery caller, as people engaging in secret affairs typically do…

    In any event, if Jessica is talking to someone in Westview, she won’t have to worry about them sending anything in the mail.

  3. Richard Egenriether

    Skyler? I can’t rember if that’s a boy or girl. Moreover, wasn’t Skyler last seen having been left in the overhang compartment of the moving van?

  4. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “You idiot! Don’t send me a photograph in the mail! Just sext me! Send me a picture from your phone camera! OK…go to the main screen and press the camera icon…”

  5. Rusty Shackleford

    I forgot about Skyler. It would be nice if Batty had a family tree of all the characters on his page, but I doubt he could make an accurate listing.

  6. Rusty Shackleford

    “Don’t send anything in the mail”. Yeah, you young people just love to write letters and send them via snail mail.

  7. Yeah, her future as a fat, stupid blonde woman is set in stone…as is his as a whiny dick moaning about how terrible his life is. Here she is, trying to set up a pleasant surprise and since he’s an extension of Batiuk’s twisted mind, it’ll mutate into another reason why his life is a meaningless tragedy.

  8. Gerard Plourde

    Also not sure why this should trouble him since Mopey Pete has been his significant other for the last few years.