Pete on The First Try

Link to today’s strip.

Pete sure looks pleased with himself, as well he should; he has answered correctly.  Dullard, on the other hand, looks around worriedly.   I said a man’s wife is his best friend.  Just like mine is my best friend, always there, always by my side.  Wait a minute, where’s my wife?  If she’s my best friend, why isn’t she here instead of Pete?  How come I don’t have any cookies?  Yes, Dullard has answered incorrectly, as the wives, mothers and daughters of Westview have no place in a man’s life, unless there are cookies to be served unto him during the sacred reading of the Book of Comic.

On the wall behind them is a collection of boomerangs, presumably those used by Captain Boomerang, a member of The Flash’s rogues gallery.  All I know about Captain Boomerang is that he uses boomerangs to commit crimes, and his original costume looked as if it–how can I put this?–would not be out of place on an off-Broadway stage in the mid 1990’s, or a hairdresser’s salon in the late 1960’s.

I assume the Captain didn’t just buy his boomerangs at any available sporting goods store; they were probably custom made to be, uh, deadly, yeah, that’s the word. (Yes, I know boomerangs are technically deadly weapons, but they’re generally not designed to be deadly to people.  Except in The Road Warrior, the “Fun and Games” episode of The Outer Limits, and…Flash comics.)

So while an exhibit of boomerangs on the wall is perhaps slightly less stupid than Jay Garrick’s hat, it still makes The Flash Museum in Central City kind of clueless as to how an actual museum is supposed to work.  I thought about saying, “I’d love to listen in on the planning sessions for this museum,” but I have this ghastly premonition that we do not have long to wait before we will witness just that.

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12 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “Pete on The First Try

  1. Epicus Doomus

    I have no idea what these imbeciles are babbling about nor do I care. IMO it’s pretty obvious why Pete isn’t married and in Boy Lisa’s case, well, quite frankly it appears that Jessica simply doesn’t know any better. Although I can certainly see why the “Flash museum” was considered such a hot ticket, what with the fascinating Flash-related banter and all. Sigh.

  2. billytheskink

    “Grover Cleveland poses comic book trivia questions to a couple of manchildren.” Huh, the synopsis is more interesting than the actual strip.

    quite frankly it appears that Jessica simply doesn’t know any better

    Bingo. Jessica started off in as a stereotypical dumb blonde straight out of a popsicle stick joke, then inexplicably came on to Durwood at the end of Act II and… was never given any other defining traits. Jessica’s marriage to Durwood was undoubtedly intended to reflect well on him, but it is effectively the punch line in another lame blonde joke.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    I really, really don’t understand Batiuk. He gets to do a crossover with Dick Tracy and just has him carry around comic books. He’s doing an homage to Flash, which he so obviously loves, but just has two of his lamest characters spouting trivia with photocopied backgrounds behind them. I’d say he should aim higher, but I think it’s way too late for that.

  4. Gerard Plourde

    So is the entire week going to be filled with a Flash trivia contest? This is on a par with Dick Tracy and Sam Catchem reduced to delivering comic books.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    billytheskink: Jessica ALMOST got a defining trait…which she abandoned after discovering her father John Darling used to affectionately call her “Barbie”. After that she reverted back to doormat status, just another infinitely patient homemaker who indulges her husband’s various comic book-centric interests with a wry loving smirk.

  6. erdmann

    “I also would have accepted Kid Flash or Green Lantern before he began running around with that bleeding heart pinko Green Arrow. I am sorry, Mr. Dillwad, but you were incorrect and must now leave the museum. Peter, you will advance to the next level, which is to say, the third floor. There, we have on display the lacy undergarments of the lascivious Golden Glider.”

    “Anything belonging to the Pied Piper?”

    “Ooooh, Peter. I think you and I are going to get along quite well… Mr. Dillwad, are you still here? Security!”

  7. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “Because of the alacrity and veracity with which you have responded to my interrogatories, it is rather blatantly and patently obvious that you chumps…er, gentlemen are discerning connoisseurs of all things Flash.
    Therefore I am authorized to make your sojourn most felicitous by offering you the opportunity to elevate your experience to ‘Platinum Status’.”

    “What does that mean?”

    “For another forty bucks each you get to wear these authentic plastic helmets for the remainder of the tour.”

    “Cool! Is cash okay?”

  8. The odd thing is that I don’t remember the guy from the funny book as being such a dick. Ah, well. Have to shame Durwood for not understanding that girls are stooooooopid.

  9. Lord Flatulence

    You must be almost 30… have you ever kissed a girl?

  10. Rusty

    Must be a steady paycheck for the new artist. Maybe he just gets vague details on what Batiuk wants, and never sees the final product.

  11. Comic Book Harriet

    Trick Question! He didn’t specify which Flash. And the very fact that Batuik can put in a comic the question, “Who is the Flash’s best friend?” and not have one of the uber nerds counter with, “Which Flash?” Immediately revokes his nerd licence. Also the answer is ALWAYS supposed to be a Green Lantern.
    Jay Garrick (Alan Scott)
    Barry Allen (Hal Jordan)
    Wally West (Kyle Rayner)
    Bart Allen (Has no Friends. The little Prick)
    Earth-2 New 52 Jay Garrick Flash. (Meh)

    Also SHAME ON YOU BECKONINGCHASM! Jay Garrick’s hat is absolutely AMAZING. How dare you denigrate my semi-obscure Golden Age superhero crush.

  12. Professor Fate

    So way does Pete look so superior here? At the very least Boy Lisa has someone to bring him milk and cookies when he reads the books of comic (love that turn of phrase) Pete looks to die alone and complaining how is that better?