Oh. My. God. Pete and Dullard are pathetic beyond my ability to measure.
Well, I guess working as a storyboard artist must pay pretty damned well. The shipping and insurance alone on that garbage is probably going to be over two hundred dollars…especially if the treadmill is a fully-functional model that is being shipped fully assembled. Although I doubt the treadmill “works.” Museums don’t really tend to sell that kind of thing.
And when we last glimpsed Dullard’s house or apartment or whatever, it sure looked small–where is he going to keep that monstrosity?
Maybe they can turn Skyler’s room into a Flash Treadmill Room. A phone call to the local orphanage would be the first step. The orphanage in Westview is just bursting with inconvenient children; in California, I’m sure they’ll have no problems finding something similar.
As for the “dolly,” again I can’t comprehend the idea of wanting something like that. It just seems (to me) like a huge waste of space, unless you’re running a comic book store. Or unless you’re Chester the Chiseler and live alone in a giant mansion. In that case, superhero statues are your best friends, and lord knows you can’t have too many of either, especially if one column has a big fat zero in it!
I originally was going to say that this whole arc reads like something from a huge Flash fan who happens to be five years old, but that just seems too mean, even for me.
I understand being a huge fan of something which has made you profoundly happy, and the urge to share that happiness by trying to share the fandom. But there are ways to do that which work, and there are ways to do that which actually turn people off from the “something” you’re always on about. This story does a good job of showing that Tom Batiuk is the world’s biggest fan of the Flash, and that he has no way of transmitting this enthusiasm (bordering on unhealthy obsession) to anyone else.
Note: personally, I always thought that the Flash was a pretty cool superhero. I only rarely read his comics but it seemed to me that they went out of their way to be scientifically plausible, and as a callow youth I appreciated that. He’s even better in the animated Timmverse; the previously mentioned episode “Flash and Substance” is very entertaining. Even better is “The Great Brain Robbery” where Flash and Lex Luthor switch minds. Should I mention the best line in that episode? No…cause I’m evil.
So, don’t let Tom Batiuk give you the idea that the flash is only for cretins, dimbulbs and creeps. The Flash is one of the good ones.