Re-Pete-I-Tion

Link to today’s strip.

I find the most reasonable explanation for Mindy’s attraction to Pete is the one offered by a number of commentors–she’s hoping to sleep her way into some of those Starbuck Jones/Cable Movie Entertainment millions so she can buy her way out of this strip.  That’s surprisingly cynical for a strip like this, but, let’s face it–Pete is otherwise a repellent character, who has no attractive features of any kind, and only an insane/desperate person would find him worthy of affection.  I mean, he and Mindy had two remarkably stupid conversations, and suddenly she wants to divert from the airport to Bedside Manor?  (To meet He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Strip, of course.)  I’d find it more plausible if she was driving him to some remote field where she’d force him to dig his own grave before gifting him with a bullet.

Pete is one manifestation of the Ultimate Batiuk Form–the Whiner.  If Mindy is serious about wanting to be with him, she had better get used to endless whining about how hard he has to work at what would otherwise be his dream job.  Because those who exist in the Funkyverse without constant complaining don’t truly exist at all.

Of course, the sleeping-to-the-top theory falls down when you realize this would mean a female character has drive and ambition–and those things are not directed toward bringing milk and cookies to her comic-reading man.  Sorry, everyone.

It does remind me of the old Hollywood joke–this one comes from the 1930’s I believe, so it’s right there on Nostalgia Boulevard.  “Did you hear about the aspiring actress?  She was so stupid, she slept with the writer!”

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23 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “Re-Pete-I-Tion

  1. Epicus Doomus

    As if we’re suddenly supposed to care about Pete and Mindy’s “whirlwind romance”. One’s a character who appears in the strip a few times a year at most and the other isn’t even IN the strip. The only thing worth mentioning in this one is how much better the new artist is at drawing cars, in fact it’s not even close.

    • billytheskink

      Agreed on the cars, that’s a pretty good 2002ish Toyota Corolla in panel 1. It has nothing on the 1961 Rambler Classic Chuck Ayers drew a few years ago, though.

  2. count of tower grove

    At last! another Crankshaft crossover. And who knows? Masky McDeath to follow. . .

  3. billytheskink

    I don’t think any of the great romances begin with a trip to a nursing home. This won’t be the first.

  4. the dreamer

    Bedside Manor? oh no she’s going to introduce Pete to old Crankshaft himself! In this timeframe, which is not the Crankshaft strip timeframe, he’s at Bedside Manor wheelchair bound!

  5. Spacemanspiff85

    What are the odds she refers to her grandfather as “that cranky old bus driver”? I’d say pretty good.

    • Oh, you know she will. Batiuk has come to the conclusion that if he never says the name Crankshaft in Winkerbean ever again, people will magically all ask “Who are these new people? Are they part of their own strip?”

  6. Gerard Plourde

    Given the fact that in his own strip Crankshaft and the other characters encounters all kinds of contemporary technology, in what year is Funky taking place? More evidence showing how poorly the second time jump was planned.

    • He didn’t plan a blasted thing. All he wanted to do was to avoid telling the real story so he could skip ahead to writing a self-insert fic by proxy.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      He has run out of material in both strips. Take a look at today’s Crankshaft, those girls need to commit that old bag to Bedside Manor!

      • Comic Book Harriet

        Except that the strip subtly implies the girls are actually figments of a lonely, addled mind. New game for Lilian and the Girls strips: In which strips are the girls REALLY there?

  7. Not only is she stupid enough to want to sleep with that whining little jerk, she’s stupid enough to think that she traded up from Mooch Myers. Hopefully Grandpa “Irritable Wheelchair-Bound Former Bus Driver Whose Name I Forget Because Batiuk Is Stupid And Thinks That If I Don’t Say The Name Crankshaft, People Will Become Curious About The Strip Crankshaft” will set her straight.

  8. Saturnino

    “He has run out of material in both strips. Take a look at today’s Crankshaft, those girls need to commit that old bag to Bedside Manor!”

    Crankshaft would actually be a decent strip if Bathack showed Lillian burning in the fires of hell for what she did to her sister instead of a “nice” old lady………

    In the old days Matthew Hopkins, Witch Finder Generall would have already had her burned at the stake or dunked until she drowned………

    • People tend to forget the sick shit she pulled because Batiuk sprayed a gloss of melancholy and hopelessness over a horrible situation in the belief that if someone can never be made right, the instigator can walk free in the streets. If a better man were to take over, she’d enjoy the Tavish DeGroot Experience as Demoman told her the three words she’s needed to hear since Lucy wound up getting a damned lobotomy:
      “BURN!! IN!! HELL!!!”

    • billytheskink

      For those that don’t remember what Lillian McKenzie did to her sister:

      She was so jealous of her sister Lucy’s relationship with boyfriend Eugene that she intercepted letters he wrote to Lucy and angrily threw away one where he proposed marriage right before he shipped out to fight in WWII. With no answer, Eugene assumed Lucy had turned down the proposal and never saw her again.

      Lillian did not admit this to Lucy until… nope, not when Lucy first contracted Alzheimer’s… not even when Alzheimer’s robbed Lucy of much of her short-term memory… Lillian waited until Lucy was comatose, dying in hospice care.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Dear God that’s grim. And “Crankshaft” was supposedly the “wackier” companion strip to the downright maudlin FW. Slowly killing off his favorite FW character over the course of a few agonizing years just wasn’t enough to satiate BatNom’s endless thirst for sad depressing pathos, I guess.

        • Charles

          When it came to the McKenzie sisters, it usually wasn’t pathos with Batiuk. It was plain old assholism disguised as “wackiness”. A lot of the strip’s humor was concerned with Crankshaft being a complete dick to the old ladies who lived next door to him, and it was essential to the humor that you not feel any sympathy for the old ladies who were being treated so terribly.

          It was actually a Crankshaft, not a Funky, sequence from about 20 years ago that led me to think that this guy Batiuk was a asshole, and it featured the McKenzie sisters. Lucy was feeling really depressed about something and Lillian decided she wanted to do something to raise her spirits. It turned out that Lillian had put a couple hundred dollars in a savings account decades earlier and simply left it to accumulate interest. After all these years, it’d surely have to be a tidy sum! So what Lillian proposed is that they go to the bank, withdraw all the money from that account and go do something fun. I think the idea might have been to go on a cruise, but it’s also possible that there was a week where Lillian and Lucy were imagining the things that they could decide to do with the money, with a cruise being one of the ideas, while buying beautiful clothes or having makeovers were other ideas, for example.

          So they go to the bank and discover that the bank had used fees and penalties to completely wipe out the balance on that account. So not only did Lillian not have any money whatsoever, the account had a large negative balance that Lillian would have to cover. There were a couple days where Lillian (and Lucy in the background) gets upset and distraught and asks the bank teller how this could have happened. The bank teller decides to see what she can do, so she goes away for a day’s strip or so while the McKenzie sisters fret. The banker later comes back with a huge beaming smile on her face and tells Lillian that she has some good news for her. Turns out that the “good news” was they weren’t going to charge Lillian overdraft fees. So the account was closed and these two old biddies had to go home both depressed now, with no money at all, after a couple weeks of them perking up imagining all the fun things they were going to do with the money.

          Batiuk wrote the thing as a joke, that we were supposed to laugh at these two poor dumb old ladies who got screwed because one of them assumed that the world wasn’t out to screw her. It was actually pretty sick, and because of it, I never quite looked at either strip the same. I have no doubt when Batiuk visits some terrible news on Bull or Funky or someone else, he actually takes pleasure in it.

          • Charles, your comments are far better than my entries!

          • What destroyed my ability to trust Batiuk not to be a total jackass was what happened when Jfff found a reefer in Max’s pants pocket. We had an extended sequence about some guitarist Jeff liked back when he was a plastic flower child who wound up getting lobotomized because one hit of weed destroyed his life. To think that I thought that Hanna-Barbera’s PSA from 1971 that had some guy take a puff on a joint only to mutate into a Scooby-Doo villain was ridiculous….

  9. Comic Book Harriet

    Oh yes pleasepleasePLEASE show us a senile, feeble, wheelchair bound Crankshaft wallowing in his own Depends and wheezing through his dying gasps and he breathes in regular pressurized air because Bedside Manor is too cheap to refill the tanks with actual oxygen.

    I need some joy this week.

  10. Chyron HR

    I think we must face the very real possibility that, in the decade-spanning Starbuck Jones Movie mega-arc, we will end up seeing more of Crankshaft than we did of the Starbuck Jones Movie.

  11. Charles

    So did Mindy pick Mopey up like a few hours before she needed to to get him to the airport in time? Why on earth is he just learning about her plan to go see that old asshole bus driver now?