Victory Has A Thousand Fathers, But Defeat Is An Orphan

Link To Today’s Snore

(Zzzzzzzzz)….oh, what? Sorry, accidentally dozed off there for a minute. Bull and his new best pal Buck are still lounging around in Bull’s rec room, apparently watching some old high school football games instead of “Law And Order” or “Diagnosis: Murder” reruns like normal dementia patients do. This Buck asshole…who still wears his old high school football letterman’s jacket…is apparently a little behind the times regarding his ol’ alma mater’s recent football history, which makes no sense outside of the usual FW context. Within it, though, it makes total sense.

Anyhow, upon realizing that Bull’s old squad defeated their long-time gridiron rivals, BanTom has this Buck asshole engage in that holiest of masculine meathead jock rituals, that being the “fist bump”. They’re just two manly men reminiscing over that which they’ll soon forget, in other words a regular weekday evening in Westview.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “Victory Has A Thousand Fathers, But Defeat Is An Orphan

  1. billytheskink

    This week in “What actually happened in Act I”:

    Big Walnut Tech clobbered Westview in Bull’s last game, then had to forfeit the game like every single one of Westview’s other opponents did that year. So Westview did “actually” win, and losing the conference title via forfeit seems like something Buck would remember. Which one of these guys is suffering from CTE symptoms again?

    • countoftowergrove

      Smirk worthy!

    • Epicus Doomus

      I’m a little surprised I didn’t notice this before but Buck was just AT the latest WHS-BWT football game, just a few weeks ago. He did inexplicably leave before it was over, though, as he had a pressing contrivance to attend to, but still.

  2. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “So you guys actually won your last game against us? T.S., Bull. That ain’t what the trophy on my mantle says.”

  3. Epicus Doomus

    So BatNom decided to take on a “timely” topic, CTE and head injuries among football players. Bull begins acing erratic and dramatic, he is diagnosed with CTE, he gets a “touching” send-off and FW moves forward in the face of tragedy yet again.

    And it’s all well and all good but then another football season rolls around and suddenly he realizes he only really knows how to do football-related gags that involve Bull, so he throws together a ridiculous contrived premise about some idiot who just happens to drop by one day to talk about those very same old football gags he abandoned when he essentially wrote Bull out of the strip. Buck, Ghost Lisa, Dinkle becoming Becky’s missing arm, Morty Winkerbean’s hilarious senior hi-jinx, he always wants it both ways.

  4. This need to have it both ways by winning on a technicality and not having Buck remember it is why Stan Lee is a bad person: Smilin’ Stan told Batiuk long ago that you can’t have your cake and eat it too because this is the real world, not a world of asspulls like the Distinguished Competition.

  5. sgtsaunders

    Anyone else thinking “Bull’s next”?

  6. I think Tom Batiuk is starting to realize that he’s peed all over his comic strips in order to be taken “seriously.” He’s focusing on the Lisa stuff because he’s seen his future Wikipedia entry, “Tom Batiuk was an Ohio cartoonist who helped raise cancer awareness through founding the Lisa’s Legacy Fund” and it will go on like that, finally concluding “In his career as a cartoonist, Batiuk produced three comic strips” and it won’t even bother to name them.

  7. As an aside: I happen not to be a “comics” fan (I don’t know if that makes reading FW every day more or less maddening). But I found this interesting story about a guy in my old hometown who, after working at Marvel and DC, now does lettering for comics full time in his home studio. The article contains quotes from another notable letterer, Nate Piekos, who was commissioned by Tom Batiuk to create the custom fonts used in FW and Crankshaft.

  8. Don

    BWT “offered” to forfeit? “No team” had ever actually accepted? What about when Westview finally won a game, only to have to forfeit because Bull “Minus 2 GPA” Bushka was ineligible? I don’t remember anybody having a choice, or declining, there.

    • billytheskink

      What? A Funky Winkerbean strip that is inconsistent with established facts from past strips? Well, I never…