Belief & Technique For Morton’s Nose

Link To Today’s Strip

“I can’t BELIEVE that no one at The Syndicate realizes that I’m just repeating the same sequences of words and re-telling the same old stories day after day after day! I know! I’ll make this one a one-paneler, tee-hee!”

I can’t believe someone pays for this content. Lifelong Westviewian fixture Funky suddenly doesn’t remember his legendary band teacher (and infamous local legend) Harry L. Dinkle, Holly is talking to Funky like he’s new in town and the Alzheimer’s patient is as sharp and quick-witted as ever. He retconned the entire strip just for the sake of re-telling that dumb Rose Bowl parade story, apparently just because he associates the new year holiday with the Tournament Of Roses parade, I guess. Then, after turning his characters into total imbeciles in order to shoehorn his dumb reference into the strip, he can’t figure out how to end it without resorting to pathetic filler, brainless repetition and a “hilarious old coot” gag on top. What a sorry display.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Belief & Technique For Morton’s Nose

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Tomorrow’s strip:
    “I can’t believe that you can’t believe that my band director, Harry L. Dinkle, made me march backwards in the Tournament of Roses Parade!”
    “You can’t believe that I can’t believe it?”
    “I believe that you can’t believe it.”

  2. That profile of ol’ Mort looks like it was drawn by “Mad’s Maddest Artist” Don Martin!

    • Epicus Doomus

      That is fantastic.

    • Charles

      I pointed out on Wednesday’s strip that the characters have been having the bridges of their noses slowly rising over the last ten years, but Mort’s the first one where the bridge is higher than where his nose emerges from his face. He must catch a huge amount of dirt on that trench up there.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Of course Don Martin’s stuff was funny and creative, unlike the crap Batty has been putting out.

  3. DOlz

    I’ll be honest if it wasn’t for my fellow snarkers here I would have given up on this drek long ago.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    This right here is the crappiness of this current strip in a nutshell. Instead of, like, actually showing Dinkle do something goofy and whacky we just get people reminiscing about a time when he did something goofy and whacky. Just like how we never actually saw anything of what makes Starbuck Jones so amazing. Or never saw a single sentence of Les’s stupid books. I honestly can’t think even Batiuk thinks these are quality strips anymore.

    • Epicus Doomus

      It’s even worse…they’re talking about how they can’t believe an old story about Dinkle, an old story that never even happened!

  5. ian'sdrunkenbeard


    Mort sighs as he pulls a flask from his pocket and empties it into his coffee. “And here we go again.”

  6. Epicus Doomus

    And bear in mind this is only Friday’s strip, he still has another day to go. Like I pointed out yesterday, he didn’t need to invent a new fake old zany Dinkle story, he was already in the middle of a new zany Dinkle story. And not only was it a really stupid new fake old Dinkle story, it wasn’t even substantial enough to fill out the week without resorting to some truly desperate and pathetic padding. He has TWO premises going here, he repeats one of them IN FULL (in a one-panel strip no less) and it still goes absolutely nowhere. Another stellar effort by the master.

  7. “I can’t believe that after several decades of marriage, this story never once came up!”

  8. He can’t even remember that she used to do that stupid thing with the flaming baton. Sad.

    • Gerard Plourde

      Which she just reprised in a Sunday strip last year in Cleveland to show a Starbuck Jones extra how to handle some kind of flaming weapon.

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    Wait, what was the band director’s name?

  10. comicbookharriet

    I am beginning to suspect Batuik is trolling us.

    Since we’re the only people still paying attention on a daily basis.

    • Gerard Plourde

      That thought has crossed my mind too.

    • billytheskink

      Quite possible, though I would say that this “tell, don’t show” mentality had become a hallmark of TB’s strips before he became aware of this site (or before the cease & desist letter anyways).

  11. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    I’ve become accustomed to stories moving at a snail’s pace — Like Duuuhhhren taking 8 months to open an envelope. In that case, at least, Batty thinks he’s building suspense. But TRIPLE dipping on something as dumb as “we marched backward AND played music backward” takes BatWit to a whole new level of hackery.

    Three straight days on the same gag? Well, now we’re all but assured of a fourth:

    “Wow. Backwards! How about that!”

    “Yep. Totally backwards. Our Westview High School instrumental ensemble teacher, Harry L. Dinkle, was widely praised for having us do that. Backwards!”


    “No, Mort Winkerbean, my father, we’re not doing that anymore. Your dementia has been cured. You’re normal now.”

    “Oh, what a relief. At any rate, or as we say here in the state of Ohio, ‘anyways,’ I’m not surprised in the slightest that Harry L. Dinkle, director of our Bedside Manner instrumental music ensemble, made you march backwards as well as play the music backwards. The gentleman works us very hard, and always expects us to do our level best!”

    “I mean, we went backwards! That was very difficult!”

  12. Professor Fate

    three days of ‘marching backwards” ‘really you marched backwards” “yes we marched backwards” on endless repeat is enough to drive one to madness. Also one finds it rather weird that after an episode where Harry really was a fifth wheel (he didn’t raise the money or book the studio all he did was drive) we are given this endless recounting of Harry Dinkle’s greatest hit (which didn’t happen).
    And the Author’s show don’t tell style is painfully apparent in this arc -really it’s a comic strip you could draw what is being talked about its not like you’d have to hire a band or something.