Extinction Tourism

PharmDawg
January 3, 2018 at 11:22 pm
If this was an AA meeting, somebody would have stopped Funky mid-sentence by saying, “In keeping with our singleness of purpose and our Third Tradition which states that ‘The only requirement for A.A. membership
is a desire to stop drinking,’ we ask that all who participate confine their discussion to their problems with
alcohol.”

Comment of the week right there, folks. Of course, what we’re seeing is not an AA meeting, but what Batiuk thinks an AA meeting is like. Hence, we see people drinking coffee (which does happen) and smoking cigarettes (which is not allowed indoors in most places, including Ohio).

Of course, no list by Batiuk of What Ails the World would be complete without a mention of climate change, and everyone’s complicity in same: “We’re sending cruise ships…” Watching glaciers melt, or grass grow, or paint dry would be far more interesting than wading through a week of this dreck.

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20 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “Extinction Tourism

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Uh yeah, what’s with this “we” business? I don’t want to melt anything (except cheese and butter) and I’ve never sent a cruise ship anywhere either. Yes, I “get” what he’s trying to “say” here but again, it’s SO vague and SO generalized it just sounds like empty pointless babble, which of course it is. I’m sure these people battling with their sobriety really give a damn about Mr. Pizza Fumes (the chief culprit re: Westview’s infamous “mozzarella rain”) and his senseless meandering but hey, the comic strip isn’t named “Anon-O-Characters” now, is it?

    • comicbookharriet

      But cheese and butter are dairy products! And the raising of increasing numbers of ruminant livestock to feed the world’s growing appetite for animal proteins and fats is a major greenhouse emission! When you melt that cheesy buttery goodness you might as well be taking a blowtorch to Greenland. #arcticguilttrip

  2. Max Power

    It’s like when he vaguely whined about “Wall Street” ruining everything – including his NYC pizza franchise – in the 2008 financial crisis. Except now he’s vaguely complaining about multiple topics. If only there weren’t cruise ships and religions “elbowing each other”. Funky’s sanctimonious ranting makes me nostalgic for his wordless tour of the abandoned house.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    I really wish someone could go back in time, to when Kid Batiuk first spotted a comic book, and show him this strip and tell him “this is what that leads to”, so he’d never create crap like this.

  4. billytheskink

    PROTIP: Mentioning glaciers in a comic strip such as this only serves to remind readers of its pacing.

  5. Batiuk’s Bitterness is always single-minded. I seem to remember Dinkle bloviating about Renaissance bankers or some damn thing–everyone loves the composers and painters, and no one remembers the bankers.
    I hate telling someone who sounds like a disgruntled grampa to “Grow up,” but I can’t think of any other response.

  6. comicbookharriet

    Then Funky says, “But worst of all, every single recovering alcoholic I try to mentor relapses within days, no matter how many hours I use my best wisdom to counsel them. I just don’t understand it.”

  7. Jimmy

    It seems like annually, Batiuk tries to put Funky front and center in an effort to try to make me hate this character more than Les. I hate every character, but Les deserves prime scorn.

  8. We’ve reached Peak “Angry Old Man Yells At Cloud.”

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    Scientists say a lot of stuff, that doesn’t make it true. And if people want to hop aboard a tramp steamer to go watch the glaciers melt then so be it.

    If you want to now go political, then learn from Bloom County, Brethed can discuss things humorously, and even when I don’t agree with his stance, I still find myself laughing.

  10. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Suddenly, Jim Kblitzbtsfplk bursts through the door!

    “CUT!!! BATTY SAID I WAS IN CHARGE OF WHINING ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? THIS IS MY JOB!!! TOMMMM !!!!”

    Batty walks onto the set.

    “Excuse me, sir. You are who?”

    “Jim kbritzlpftzktchazk! I teach science at the high school!”

    “Hmmm… I don’t remember you. I’ll check my notes later. You’ll need to get off the set. Right now, Funky is my mouthpiece for all the whiny causes I support. You’ll get your turn later. Bye. Okay, Funky. Pick it up where you whine about how mean the police are toward our misunderstood and disadvantaged urban youth. And ACTION!”

  11. Count of Tower Grove

    It took me all week that this just a laundry list of Todd Bottock’s complaints of the world. In other words it’s the state of the Fungyverse address.

  12. Sully

    It’s so refreshing to have a comic strip like ‘Funky Winkerbean’, so we can keep up with the lives of ‘contemporary young people’, like this pathetic pack of middle-aged losers, subjected to the nihilist rantings of an alcoholic, dumpy, dim-witted doofus.

  13. batgirl

    But over on Crankshaft, his constant smoke pollution via bbq and chimney fires are a big joke.

  14. Meanwhile… at the TB blog we learn that he will be introducing a Muslim female character in October. Which is admirable! BUT… Tom, seriously: in the current climate, you CANNOT do topical strips a year in advance (can you forecast, for example, how the travel ban, or attacks on mosques, or ISIS copycat attacks, will play out this year?). It’s artistic suicide, and you risk coming across as tone deaf, or even worse. By October we may have deported all religious minorities, put a crack in the earth’s core from drilling (THAT will give Funky something to drink to), and had Zonker and his nephew put in federal prison. Sorry, wrong strip. Tom, SERIOUSLY, I know you think you are summoning some good ol’ ’70s indignation in the new year, but you are not back in the ’70s when current events were slow moving targets. Either decide to be engaged – and if you do, quit the ridiculous year-ahead routine and show some actual dedication to the role of the artiste that you so clearly view yourself to inhabit – or drop out now while you still have a shred of a good reputation. You’re throwing it away, man.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Too late. He’s already tone deaf about absolutely everything, and he already lacks even a shred of good reputation.

      And any time he tries to make a point about ANYTHING, he comes off so heavy handed that you want to take up a contrary point of view, even though you might mostly agree with him. Take the Gay Prom for example. Princ’pal Nate waving the student handbook around. All the bloviating.

      In this case, I’m sure Muslim Girl will deal with vicious bigots (in pickup trucks, likely) and other cardboard cutout BatTropes. Because there’s no way Batty would be satisfied showing her just fitting in and getting along with people. No doubt she’ll be there so BatWit can prove some point or teach us some kind of sanctimonious “lesson.”

    • Rusty Shackleford

      a Muslim female, oh boy, I detect a big nothing halal burger..

      I’m sure batty will use his immense story telling skills to bring us a long, drawn out tale of woe. Hmmm. I can smell that golden t square…it’s so close.

      As a Clevelander, who was born in a Jewish hospital 50 years ago this month (the old and now forgotten MT Sinai hospital) even though I was not Jewish…my mother would become a conservative Jew later In her life and though I would never convert, I studied biblical Hebrew with her Rabbi as I became interested in the philosophy of the Torah. I learned a lot from him and could possibly write a cartoon based on this. But no, the syndicate wastes its energy on tired old goyish Batty.

      I feel bad for our upcoming Muslim star, because I know batty is going to blow it. I love all peoples and so it pains me to see this

      Ahhhh….Ativan is kicking in…guten nacht meine freunde! Bis spater!

  15. batgirl

    Wasn’t Rana a Muslim female? Or did her adoptive family just baptize her into the Westviewian Order of Blessed Saint Lisa of the Carcinoma?

    • comicbookharriet

      Um…yeah. Didn’t he have an entire Muslim FAMILY living in Westview… guy owned a restaurant…I’m sure it would only take five seconds to check the archives here. But If Batty doesn’t have the time for it, then why should I?

      • batgirl

        He can’t look it up because he can’t remember the spelling – Kahn, or Khan? Maybe Kanh? Something foreign, anyways.