Nuke It From Orbit

…It’s the only way to be sure.

Link to today’s strip.

I’m having a hard time grasping the fact that Tom Batiuk, the most depressing comic strip author of all time, thinks that there are some things that are depressing that shouldn’t be*.  Seems to me he’d be okay with children’s books getting darker and darker, as that’s his own game plan searching for respectability (i.e., award nominations).  Shouldn’t children’s books be reality-based and reflect contemporary problems of young people?

Perhaps he’s ticked off that children’s books would follow along his chosen path.  Perhaps he thinks I’ve earned this…stupid children’s books haven’t.  Stop poaching my territory.  Seems like a case of wanting it both ways, but perhaps there’s an alternate explanation in that last panel.

In his offscreen presentation, Tom Batiuk loves him some comic books.  But what he loves most is old comic books, the ones he grew up with.  Whenever he mentions anything positive about contemporary comic books, I don’t think he ever goes past what a “striking” cover this or that issue has.  But he can go on for hours about silver age Flash comics.

So what more natural than, when he wants entertainment, he wants the entertainment he enjoyed as a kid.  Absolutely nothing wrong with that.  But he should be self-aware enough–at least I hope he is–that while he can say Things are terrible and dreary now, they were so much better years ago, that others can say the same about his own work.

*Though what seems to be distressing Ann here is actually just a description of the Sun.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “Nuke It From Orbit

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Couldn’t have said it any better myself, BC. And speaking of truly shitty “writing”, this is a weird tangent for this particular story to go off on, maybe he read the criticism re: that Lisa “mom” nonsense and decided he’d better get the Fairgoods (well, one of them at least) back into the mix, even in the middle of a story that couldn’t have any less to do with them. It’s OK if BatNard elects to take his strip in a whole variety dark and dreary directions but woe to anyone else who dares to change or “modernize” anything lest they feel the lash of his acid-tipped…uh…felt tip, I guess. What a nut.

  2. Rusty Shackleford

    You just know there will be something in Darin’s crappy old children’s book. Some memory that will get dug up. Some dreary, boring old memory.

  3. DOlz

    She probably thinks these are too cheery and is going to get Durwood’s unsanitized collection of “Grimm’s Fairy Tales”.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    I’d bet money the book she gets is “Little Timmy and the Tale of How His Bio-dad Raped His Bio-Mom, and Later She Died, from Cancer”.

  5. “Oh, here they are! ‘Little Black Sambo,’ ‘Old Yeller’ and the unexpurgated ‘Mary Poppins!'”

  6. I remember one from the mid-Sixties, when the Soviets were testing an orbital nuclear-bombardment system: “Star light, star bright, last star I see tonight?” Maybe that’s in Dullard’s books.

  7. Epicus Doomus

    Coming tomorrow: Ann’s ordeal begins as Boy Lisa’s enormous collection of old comic books collapses and traps her in the attic…and her reading glasses are downstairs.

  8. Jimmy

    I bet she comes across some long, lost St. Lisa stuff, and they worship at her altar.

    • spacemanspiff85

      Either that or one of the many bestselling children’s books Les wrote and Batiuk just threw into the strip because why not.

  9. billytheskink

    Skyler’s shirts must have some seriously stretched out necks, what with poking that head of his through them on a regular basis. He looks like Phil Simms.

  10. Today’s kids are not just entitled to his childhood. Given his tantrum about how they changed the bullshit explanation for why The Flash is able to violate the laws of physics, they’re entitled to be him at a certain age and no other.

  11. Charles

    I thought one of the reasons why parents love grandparents so much is that they get to leave their children with them and get some time to themselves, yet here’s Jess, knowingly smirking at the situation, sitting by as her desperately needy simp does whatever it is he wants to do. That and hanging around when Ann’s babysitting Skyler too.

  12. Chyron HR

    Speaking of stupid, today’s Crankshaft reinforces that Batom really doesn’t understand what an installment plan is.

    • billytheskink

      And speaking of children’s books that cause grandmothers to clutch their pearls, the book Bronwyn had been paying “installments” on for months appears to be about one of the most famous scenes in The Godfather

    • comicbookharriet

      Also, I have never ever seen an adaptation of ‘A Christmas Carol’ with a fat Scrooge. The only fat Scrooges I can think of are Mr Magoo and Scrooge McDuck.

  13. Rusty

    I will bet on some rare, lost for years Starbuck Jones/The Phoenix comic book will be found in the attic. Because Batiuk.

  14. Professor Fate

    First as noted how is that bad? It’s what the sun is. Secondly considering how Boy Lisa turned out maybe you might what to reconsider reading his son the same books.

  15. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Yesterday, I thought Granny Annie reading newfangled children’s stories to Skylight was a one-off throwaway. Apparently it’s now its own arc. This must be something ELSE BatWit is up in arms about.

    On the other hand, any mother who would name her kid “Skyler” is probably totally into all the ultra-PeeCee crapola. Get ready to become non-binary, Skydome.