Ticking Away The Moments That Make Up A Dull Forty-Six Years

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Sigh. Like five interminable weeks wasn’t “enough time”. This might be BatNard’s way of bringing Pete and Boy Lisa back into the Westview fold, although I don’t know of anyone who’s been clamoring for that to happen or what difference it could possibly make, unless he’s planning some sort of sick “Crankshaft” crossover wedding with that Mindy chick or something…(shudder). I certainly wouldn’t put it past him.

I like how business in the Funkyverse moves every bit as slowly as everything else does. It took well over a month to just get to Chester’s pitch and now we’re forced to wait some more while these two morons ponder their decision? Not that I can entirely blame them for being disoriented and confused, as Chester’s entire pitch consisted of a comic book nostalgia rant and an old stock photo of an atom bomb test blast.

This whole stupid arc is way funnier if you just substitute pizza for comic books. Pete and Boy Lisa are busy in Pizzaland writing the new Pizzaman movie when wealthy pizza mogul Chester Pizzamore contacts them about a new pizza proposal. Chester, who became wealthy after stealing Golden Age pizzas from the pizzeria where he worked as a boy, is sick and tired of these grim n’ gritty newfangled pizzas and wants to bring back the pizza he enjoyed as a young boy, without all the fancy toppings and calzones and deep-dishes and etc. Just good pizza where you have no problem separating the crust from the slice. Pete and Boy Lisa become confused, then take a break for lunch. See? It’s a vast improvement.

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11 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

11 responses to “Ticking Away The Moments That Make Up A Dull Forty-Six Years

  1. There was a very funny variation of this joke in “Bowfinger” near the end. The fact that Steve Martin and Terrance Stamp are quite talented makes all the difference, I suppose, since one could read this strip and not even realize that there was a joke to be found.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    This are probably my favorite Funky Winkerbean strips, since they’re entirely dependent on someone caring enough about this comic for this “suspense” to matter”. Which, if Batiuk honestly thinks anyone cares about this, seems to me like a level of delusional that would warrant commitment.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Yes, you can’t just drop in on a random FW strip and have it make any sense, you have to follow it every day and know all about the characters’ backgrounds to know what’s going on. And the funny thing about that is, of course, that everything you think you know about a FW character can change in an instant, rendering everything you thought you knew about them moot. Their last name might change, they might suddenly be twenty years younger, they might find out that their English teacher’s wife is their bio-mom, it can all be retconned away in a flash.

  3. Charles

    Man, could Mopey and Dopey possibly look any more bored? Are we supposed to be taking this seriously?

  4. billytheskink

    Sorry, I can’t hear any of this dialogue over Durwood’s banana-shaped head.

  5. I don’t know why he’s being cast as an antagonist. He’s just another wacko who thinks his ideas are too blasted good to refuse but he’s just got more money to blow on being stupid.

  6. The difference between Chester and everyone else seems to be that Chester is actually motivated to do something, whereas every other character is content to wait until success is simply handed to them.

    I can’t exactly say I like the character–this strip has poisoned comic books too deeply for me to find a fan likeable–but at least he’s motivated and willing to take action.

    This is what will doom him, of course, because Working for your success is like digging a grave–the deeper you go, the more you make it yours.

    Yeah that doesn’t make any sense but I don’t care.

  7. Let me guess, Chester has cancer and it is his dying wish to have his own comic book company.

  8. hitorque

    Once again, on what is supposed to be a *family* trip, Darrin is with Peter 50 miles away from his wife and kid because something something comics books; HAIL, COMICS! COMICS BE PRAISED!!!

    Please tell me Darrin’s wife is consulting a divorce attorney the second they get back to L.A.?

    • comicbookharriet

      She’s consulting a divorce attorney right now. Sitting on the park bench in Westview talking to Her Holy Lawyerness Dead St. Lisa.