If You Wannabe Be My Writer

Yesterday’s discussion of exactly just how Rip Tide: Scuba Cop goes about scuba cop-ing understandably exhausted our tedious twosome, and they take a well-earned coffee break in today’s strip.

I suppose that now that they are living the life of 1950s-ish Batom Comics writers, Pete and Durwood no longer need to daydream about being 1950s-ish Batom Comics writers. Naturally, they have channeled most of their energy into finding new ways to procrastinate… though shuffling down to the struggling coffeeshop on the corner earns them no points for creativity.

Nevertheless, today’s strip is not without educational value. I, for one, learned that the key difference between Los Angeles and Northern Ohio is that no one has dreams or ambition in Northern Ohio.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “If You Wannabe Be My Writer

  1. Epicus Doomus

    No, instead it’s a lifeless, dreary, rain-and-windswept gray brick shithole filled with three bored people. Welcome to mid-central Ohio, m*therf*ckers. I like how they pretend they’re all relieved to be rid of their lucrative movie careers, like it was just one of those stepping stone-type jobs you take when you’re “just starting out”.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Well it is supposed to be Northeast Ohio, but I’m starting to think Batty has never been to a coffeehouse in Cleveland. A bunch of dressed up white people, sans tattoos and piercings, reading dead tree media? Ugh, yeah.

  2. Jimmy

    Everyone in Ohio is erudite, apparently. They’re not antisocial with their heads in their phones. Rather, they’re antisocial with dead trees in their hands.

    I ain’t no coastal elite, but this reverse snobbery is too much. Give me a break, Batiuk.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Do people in Ohio not know you can set a coffee mug down while you drink from it?

  4. billytheskink

    D – You can certainly tell we’re not in LA anymore.
    P – How so?

    D –
    – Because the weather sucks.
    – Everyone in the coffee shop is unemployed, even the employees.
    – No one in LA would name their coffeeshop something as stupid as ‘Beanstalk’.
    – There are only white people here.
    – The cost of living went down almost as much as our salaries.

  5. Gerard Plourde

    Admittedly I’m from the effete East Coast, but just about every coffee shop I’ve been in lately is filled with people with laptops or tablets, not reading books or physical newspapers.

    • comicbookharriet

      This coffee shop is too cheap for Wi-Fi. So the only people who hang around are Luddites like Alfred Pennyworth and the elderly Miss Muffet. It is weird they’re all ignoring the mouthless, handless, squint-eyed monster in shambling in the background, obviously an alien infiltrator in a piss-poor schoolgirl disguise.

    • DOlz

      I guess I need to turn in my effete East Coast card. No only do I not go to coffee shop, but I don’t even like coffee.

  6. Darin has got a lot of damn gall to call anybody a “wannabe” while sitting across from the upward-failing Pete Reynolds. These two jerkoffs lucked into—then walked away from—lucrative Hollywood careers that they did nothing to deserve.

    • hitorque

      Pete Rattabastaro grudgingly has *some* genuine talent, but seeing Darrin go from comics geek doing scribbles in study hall to MBA to unemployed failure to $6.75/hour pizza jockey living off his wife’s income from her successful “documentary” to butt buddy nepotism hire to GREATEST STORYBOARD ARTIST AND ACTION FIGURE DESIGNER WHO EVER LIVED to world class artist who smugly talks down to real legends of the industry like Phil Holt to the current BEST COMICS ARTIST WHO EVER LIVED AND THE MAN WHO IS BESTOWED THE HOLY MISSION TO MAKE COMICS GREAT AGAIN FROM GOD ALMIGHTY HIMSELF is beyond the pale…

    • Charles

      Oh, I’m sure Darin and Pete will feel great sympathy for those wannabe screenwriters when it allows them to feel sorry for themselves. You know, like they already have.

  7. gleeb

    Hey, folks in Cleveland don’t need dreams or ambition; they already live in The City, man.

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    Given Batty’s reaction to the Batman TV show from the 60’s, he must be really angry to hear that Wal Mart is going to start selling comic books.

    I can here him groaning from Medina, “NOOOOO, ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY!”

  9. comicbookharriet

    Today’s Crankshaft young Les is high as a f88king kite, and Lilian is gradually realizing he’s one of those ‘young Steven King’ authors who uses the ‘creative process’ as an excuse to get blinkered on coke.

    • countoftowergrove

      That was Less? Until the age jump, didn’t he always have a Beatle haircut?

      • billytheskink

        Les’ hair prior to Act III always reminded me of a football helmet sans facemask, especially when TB still drew his glasses as a sort big single lens chemistry class goggles.

  10. hitorque

    Dr. Funkensteiner: “Brah, you remember all those pathetic loser nobodies we came across trying to ‘make it’ in Hollywood through hard work, merit and God-given creative talents? LOL they’re all suckers because not even the Avengers and the JLA combined can overcome the infinite power of the WESTVIEW NEPOTISM MAFIA!!! That’s why two years later, those same wannabe morons are still trying to sell their scripts door-to-door like Jehovah’s Witnesses while I literally wipe my ass with $100 bills and my wife uses my “BEST STORYBOARDER” Academy Award as a dildo just to make the other hoes on Instagram jealous!!”

    Krankenschaaften: Someone needs to retroactively give Les like twenty different forms of cancer so he wastes away in the most painful manner possible…

  11. hitorque

    It’s funny because Chester the Molester by every indication spared no expense in getting that big-assed 11-story factory/warehouse of an office space renovated to modern standards to house his two-man publishing house and somehow he never thought to install a kitchen or even a solitary coffee maker??

    Or are these two assholes just out and about so they can 1. Be seen, 2. Laugh at the normals who have to actually work for a living, 3. Avoid being in the office because Chester might do something stupid like expect them to start doing their jobs and shit?

  12. Professor Fate

    The smug it burns like fire.