Seven Years (In One Night)

Link to today’s strip.

See, this is what happens when you half-ass it.

Tom Batiuk had this hilarious joke about how only old people use the post office, but he lost that joke somewhere on his desk, so we got this one instead:

Because it might have been “okay” if the length of time was a week, or a month, but if it was a year?  Man, the laughs just don’t stop.  Mainly because they never start.

The problem seeps in when we look at what he wrote on the 31st of July.

So, the “always like” seems to imply that he’s done this more than once.  But the “this year” above seems to imply that he only does it once a year or so.

Which means that Jessica is still in Los Angeles, while Dullard has been in Cleveland for a year.

Or, what I think is more likely, Jessica has jettisoned his sorry ass and is living a successful life elsewhere, and Dullard just likes to “pretend” he has a relationship.

Either way, it makes Dullard look bad, so thumbs up from me!

PS:  Speaking of artwork, it almost looks like Commissioner Gordon from the Tim Burton Batman movies checking his watch, and is that Chuck Ayers himself in the beard?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “Seven Years (In One Night)

  1. Gerard Plourde

    Where does TomBa go to the post office? I have to go fairly often to send certified and priority mail and see a number of younger people (even younger than. 40 year-old Darin). I do live in a major city and have a university near my branch, so that may skew the sample, but I can’t help feeling that this is another instance of his fantasy of life rather than direct knowledge.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    Coming up next week: Darin jokes about airline peanuts, and asks Pete to take his wife, please.

  3. countoftowergrove

    Why it IS Pat Hingle!

  4. Epicus Doomus

    BatNom used to have a postman character he could use as a conduit for those moldy old post office gags he has clanging around in that sincere little head of his, but unfortunately he sent the character in question off to work the counter in a comic book store, so he had to create an entire comic book sub-universe complete with multiple tangentially involved characters in order to find a way to get Boy Lisa to the post office just so he could trot out petrified old jokes like this one. So much work for such a weak payoff, you know? Sort of like how he wanted to do an arc about publishing a book and spent years killing off his favorite character in order to make that happen instead of, you know, having a character write a book. If you asked Bantom to recite the letters of the alphabet he’d mix them all up and throw in some punctuation and umlauts just to shake things up.

  5. billytheskink

    It is a remarkable feat in fiction writing to take something as uninteresting as a trip to the post office and make it even less interesting than it is in real life.

  6. After all of this yapping about how bad it is that people don’t send things by the US mail no more, whatever’s in that envelope better be something he can’t send on-line like a flower or something.

  7. Don

    That’s thin enough that he should be able to drop it into a box, or a slot in the post office lobby. You only have to wait in line if it weighs more than a pound and has stamps, or if it needs something like a delivery confirmation number…or if he doesn’t know what the postage is, but that would require not knowing how to (a) use a postage scale or (b) how to look up postage rates online.

    • Jimmy

      The self-serve stations will accurately calculate postage these days. I’ve done it plently of times.

      I’m guessing this is how he wrote the address:
      Jessica, daughter of John Darling Who Was Murdered
      Los Angeles, CA ?????

      “Can you make sure this gets to her?”

  8. Jimmy

    You’re going to love this, everyone! Josh Fruhlinger at The Comics Curmudgeon posted about Crankshaft today and linked to an Angelfire(!) site listing FW history.

    It’s quite an Easter egg, in my opinion.

    • All due love and respect to the Comics Curmudgeon, but this site has carried a link to The Unofficial Funky Winkerbean Fan Page on Angelfire since its inception (under FW Related Links)

  9. It’s become clear that Batiuk has tapped Ayers to draw this week’s strips for his skills at rendering horrid old people.

  10. Charles

    A couple weeks back someone (and I truly regret that I haven’t found the post to give the person recognition) wondered why Batiuk was putting so much focus on Darin’s relationship with Jessica all of a sudden. I’m beginning to come around to the idea that Batiuk’s going to have her die.

    Darin is Les v2.0, and what’s more Les than having your wife tragically die and subsequently spending all your time morose over the lost love of your wife? I think that’s why Batiuk’s making a big play to emphasize how much Darin loves Jessica here after the two of them have acted more like casual roommates since the start of Act 3. The never before seen “I send her things I’ve drawn because I love her so much” seems to be a parallel to Les sending Lisa tapes to listen to on her walkman. They’ve already got the kid who looks like the dad and he’s getting close to Summer’s age when Lisa died.

    I mean, it’s not as if Jessica has ever mattered in Act 3. Her only sequence was her documentary that seemed to exist only because Batiuk was getting grief over not showing her doing the ONE thing she said she was interested in. And it was a big nothing. So killing her wouldn’t be any big loss for his world. He gets to hammer away about what an uncompromising artist he is, telling serious stories that no other artist on the comics page would dare tell, which he’s been doing with the Lisa stories for so damn long that it’s become its own parody. He gets to have another author avatar, a better one this time because he’s actually in the job that Batiuk wishes he had (instead of having the job Batiuk obviously feels contempt for), who’s the center of a big, groundbreaking story that everyone’s going to be talking about.

    Except they won’t, because who really cares about Jessica and Darin and they lives at this point?

    • This is quite brilliant and insightful…the exact opposite of the effort Tom Batiuk puts into the strip these days. That makes me think it won’t happen, which is a shame because it’s a great idea and it would wake everyone up.

      But he tried this, and he didn’t win the awards he was counting on. That alone makes me think we’re simply going to get wish-fulfillment 24/7 until someone blows out the candle.