The Analogies Of A Short Distance Runner

Link To Today’s Installment

Ol’ Man Winkerbean, fifty-five going on eighty-eight. Pass the baton, break the tape…what, is Montoni’s somehow involved in some sort of bizarre long-term business competition or something? “I’ll be damned if Kowalski Shoe Repair beats ME for longest continually operating Westviewian business! Help me pull out these IV tubes”. All of a sudden he’s Carl Lewis with the running references even though when he does run all he does is complain about it.

It’s pretty funny how Wally needed to earn a six-year business management degree in order for his uncle to consider him worthy of operating his pizza business. Working for six years to earn a college degree only to find yourself exactly where you were when you started…that’s just so, so Wally. Then again maybe he’s just pacing himself and biding his time until he hits his 80s and life becomes wacky and zany again. Either way it’s profoundly depressing, I mean hasn’t he already suffered enough?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “The Analogies Of A Short Distance Runner

  1. bobanero

    Meanwhile, Rachel sits attentively listening to Funky talking about handing the business over to Wally, after she’s been working there for how many years, and no doubt knows the business inside and out.

    Of course, Wally has a JUCO business degree and no experience past washing dishes, but as a male he is imminently more qualified.

  2. The dialogue seems completely incomprehensible today. I think I get the idea that Funky wants Wally to take over the business… but whatever version of “slang” they’re using obscures everything. How many days until the 50th? There’s NO other reason to keep this garbage churning.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Batiuk must have a big “Dictionary of Metaphors for Writers to Abuse”, since 90% of FW strips would have nothing without them.
    What is even the finish line here? Death? Montoni’s going out of business? Neither one makes any real sense. I’d be shocked if Batiuk didn’t just decide on “handing off the baton” being the punchline, and then needed a leadup to that.

  4. billytheskink

    If Funky was considering this, why didn’t he hand Wally the keys back in August for a trial run instead of letting Cory and Rocky run the place? I mean, Cory and Rocky’s experience washing dishes and minesweeping isn’t any more valuable than Wally’s experience… uh… washing dishes and minesweeping, and Wally has a partial college education in his corner.

    Better idea: Turn the restaurant over to Rachel. She has worked at Montoni’s since Bob Dole was politically relevant. That’s paying your dues. In fact, that’s how Funky became a partner in Montoni’s, he started out Act II as a delivery boy and worked his way up to owning part of the thing in less than a decade. Rachel has been a Montoni’s employee for about two decades IN REAL LIFE TIME. A real life Rachel would be furious with this nepotism, even if she is married to the benefiter.

  5. Gerard Plourde

    All of these running references may be connected to the real Lisa’s Legacy 5K run. He posted about it in his blog. It’s scheduled for the 21st.

  6. timbuys

    I’ll say this for today’s strip, the background drawings demonstrate competence. Also, that the floors at Montoni’s are filthy…. Won’t someone please get one of these mopes a mop!

  7. I wonder what sort of incoherent screeching noises Batiuk would end up making once it filters back to him that people want Rachel to run the place. We know that he has a shitload of issues with women so the idea of having Women’s Lib take over the pizza treefort would make his tiny mind go kablooie.