Monotony: The Slow-Dreary Postponing Trysts Game.

Link to Today’s Comic.

We finally get to the Holly that’s been gracing the header this week; and she accurately depicts how I’m feeling about having to wring some humor from an entire week of passive paternal cockblocking. I mean, I’ve used Hasbro products to cockblock before, sure; but it take seconds to show men a room with hundreds of tiny action figures all staring right at the twin mattress. The ‘sleepless’ mood is gone much quicker than four days of tired people whining about Monopoly.

Can we get Batiuk some plotting Viagra? He has severe protractile dysfunction. He saws away at the same joke for an eternity, never progressing, until all excitement is lost and the story limply stops. The next Monday Batiuk changes plots, like changing the subject after an embarrassing silence.

Regarding the art today, Mort is grabbing his inner thigh while leering aggressively. Funky’s horror is justified. Even if his flesh-colored eyeline suggests he is more shocked by how shittily drawn the dice on the board are.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “Monotony: The Slow-Dreary Postponing Trysts Game.

    • comicbookharriet

      Even TB wouldn’t be crass enough to write about ‘White God Cum.’

      • DOlz

        After today’s strip I wouldn’t put money on that.

        My favorite quotes in that article that really made me think of TB was:

        “James Frey is the perfect writer for 2018, because he is the apex of mediocre white men believing they’re better and more important than everyone else and can barely contain their contempt for others in saying so. They can never be wrong; they can only be misunderstood. If the world isn’t perpetually talking about them, then the world must be stupid, because how could the world function without their brilliance?”


        “He believes he could have given America the greatest art it’s ever seen if he hadn’t deigned to make millions appealing to the crass demands of the market. He believes he is special solely because he is a writer, which makes him important and the normies irrelevant.”

  1. Merry Pookster

    TB is not good enough to write a worst book

  2. billytheskink

    Just in time for Christmas, the Funky Winkerbean nutcracker!

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Look at Mort, all malevolent and leering suggestively, even though Holly’s mom (does she have a name?) has given no indication whatsoever that she’s into bumping uglies with him. So it’s true, the once-lovable old coot is officially a disturbed pervert. Earlier this year he was a kindly trombonist, buying old catalogs to cheer up that cranky bus driver (whatever his name is) but that’s a memory, much like his loss of memory. How ironic.

    • I can see where this is going–. Horny Mort makes a pass at Hollys mother. She freaks and calls 911 and #metoo’s Mort Mort has to settle the charges by going on the state sex offenders registry. Which gets him kicked out of the nursing home and he has to move in with Funky and Holly

    • Charles

      Yes, his leer is utterly disquieting. He’s gonna fuck Holly’s mom whether she wants it or not, and seemingly would prefer that she not!

      To go back to yesterday’s posting about Funky’s inability to breach this topic with his dad: I would think that Funky’s squeamishness would have ended when he put his dad in the nursing home. If he’s Mort’s health care proxy, which all evidence points to him being, he’s already frankly discussed things like Mort’s incontinence, bowel movements, erectile dysfunction and prostate with him. And Funky doesn’t seem to have any trouble bringing up his own prostate for no apparent reason when he was talking to his teenage self and teenage Crazy. So I simply can’t believe that he finds this subject too dicey to broach.

      Seriously. “It’s nice that you like Holly’s mom,” (does she even have a name yet?) “but you’re not having sex with her in this house. If you persist, I’m taking you back home.”

  4. Paul Jones

    For God’s sake, Funky! This is YOUR house, not his. If you don’t want something happening, he has no say in the matter so PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER and tell him to put it in neutral already.

    • Buckeye Feculence

      Exactly–drag the old pervert to the car and dump him out on the front lawn of Horny House without stopping!

      Just further proof that Funky is a passive shlub who has gotten everything he deserves in his miserable existence.

  5. Gerard Plourde

    Why on earth would Holly’s mother say “You and I need to get some sleep” to Mort? That sort of statement implies a type of acquaintanceship unsupported by anything disclosed in the strip. There’s no indication that Mort and Holly’s mom ever met before. Mort’s statement (and leer) all but scream “predator”. The whole thing is weird and creepy.

  6. louder

    It’s a truly vile comic, and it proves that there is no editorial control by King Comics. To think that BatHack thinks this is anything remotely funny or cute about this prurient pos sends shivers down my spine.

  7. Nothing says “Don’t care” more than a Monopoly board where you can’t be bothered to fit the logo on the board.

    • ian'sdrunkenbeard

      They’re playing Mono, the game of infectious disease. Infect your friends! Infect your family! Be the first kid on your block to get Mono!

  8. Gerard Plourde

    It appears that maybe this awful strip is an example of TomBa’s slapdash research and writing habits. Hypersexualized behavior apparently has been observed in dementia patients. I guess this is intended to be one of his “serious” strips but his inconsistent treatment of his characters (in this case up to now fully recovered Mort) sabotaged his apparently intended message. Here’s a link to a National Institutes of Health paper on the subject.

  9. bayoustu

    It’s not just the fact that this whole arc has been repugnant, loathsome, and creepy, but to add insult to injury, Ayers appears to be trying to pay homage to someone truly funny – “Mad’s Maddest Artist”, the late Don Martin – with his drawing of Funky today. Why not rename the strip “Funky Fonebone” and be done with it already?