Shrinky Dinks

Link to today’s strip.

As February dawns, the first strip of the month is not available for preview, but let’s be honest–Batiuk’s not going to cut away to something different, not when he’s got Dinkle to shove in people’s faces.   Those seemingly endless weeks where he craps out those terrible, terrible Claude Barlow witlessisms should be proof of that.

Yesterday, he wailed and moaned that he couldn’t find free food.  What could it be today?  Perhaps…his ass, with both hands?

I wonder if Beck will get any lines…so far, she’s only spoken on Sunday, and it was, of course, nothing but praise for Dinkle.  So, she’s really already played her part.  All that’s left is a praise reprise.

(GAH, sorry folks, that was almost Batiukian…surprising how easily one slips back into this stuff…)



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Shrinky Dinks

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Maybe it’s because my mind went right to Seinfeld, but seeing a headline referring to shrinking and Dinkle had me more horrified than I’ve ever been before reading FW.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Damn those new-fangled highfalutin one-armed band directors and their technology gizmos and smart gadgets! Dinkle will be DAMNED if he allows that “GPS” nonsense in the band he used to teach a long time ago, so Becky better cool her heels because it just isn’t happening. “Band Tracker”…LOL, great name.

    • billytheskink

      If I was a customer, I would be more concerned that “Band Tracker” is using a “futuristic” font for their logo that predates Dinkle’s career as a band director.

      Anyways, this seems out of character for the megalomaniacal and controlling Dinkle, who in Act II would have loved a GPS device that let him know where his band members were at all times.

      • spacemanspiff85

        A much funnier and more true to character thing for Dinkle to be saying here would be “How is that any better than the chips I’ve been implanting in my band for years?”.

  3. comicbookharriet

    Unless this software somehow increases the intelligence of the average Westview band member, or overrides their control of their own bodies, there is no way it can guarantee every band member knows where they’re supposed to be.

  4. This actually seems like a fantastic technological leap of an idea. I mean, the future is here. That is, IF every high school kid didn’t already have a GPS device in their pocket.

    And then I looked closer and saw that these BandTrackers™️ are for use on the field, not on Ohio band trips or turkey-selling adventures through the neighborhood. So the kids can see where they’re supposed to be when marching. With an instrument. And, presumably, an iPad. Which the band is supposed to buy for every kid by selling turkeys.

    The future is dumb.

    • Hannibal's Lectern

      If Worstview High is like the school where I work, they’ve already got carts full of iPads just gathering dust, after they discovered the iPad is cool but limited (no keyboard, no USB port, no all-inclusive comprehensive suite of education-and-surveillance software, etc…) and switched over to Chromebooks. Maybe they can clip the iPads to the music holders on their instruments and have them display the musical score and…

      WAIT-WAIT-WHAT AM I DOING HERE? Trying to make sense of a Batuikism? ghabfvnaghr;lkhgv;lkjNDSnbh’oa (that was my forehead banging the keyboard)

      A more proper Batiukist GPS system would involve tracking via the GPS in the phone and having the simulated voice of Hairy Dangle screaming “you’re two steps left of where you should be!” constantly…

  5. Paul Jones

    You would think that an intrusive jackass like Dinkle would love to have access to a device that allowed him even more control over his hapless stooges but any major dude will tell you that he needs to not know where they are at all times because he needs to chase them down to feel REALLY superior. That’s because megalomania on his level can’t exist without being accompanied by the need to bellow about being surrounded by slackers who do not care. If he can track them down or summon them at will, he can’t very well howl about how no one respects his vision, can he?

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Similar to how Les is constantly annoyed by being surrounded by dufuses no matter where he goes.

      • comicbookharriet

        If he has too much control over his students, then he has no one to blame but himself when they fail. He knows this.

  6. Gerard Plourde

    Looking over this week’s set of strips, it’s pretty clear that the unifying thread for The Author was “Another week closer to my 50 year anniversary and a lifetime achievement award.”

    • Rusty Shackleford

      He’s probably a guest of honor at the OMEA convention this week. Maybe they will give him an award.

  7. Miskatonic Sophomore

    So, if I’m following this, as I’m never completely sure that I am, Dinkle wants “the kids” to “get off his lawn”…? “The kids” in this case being these “Bsnd Tracker” yahoos with their big new ideas and their “tablet-sized computers” and their smart-mouthed acronyms and their fancy-pants 1978 BATTLESTAR GALACTICA-style sign.

    Fergawdsakes. I know that “old people confused by modern technologies” is not an unprecedented approach for T. Bat, but c’mon. As the 50th anniversary approaches and the overall effort level approaches zero, you can almost see the “jokes” decaying before our eyes, or devolving into proto-jokes. Next thing you know, Becky will be explaining that she just flew in from Westview and *boy is her arm tired.*

  8. Dinkle’s goldenrod-colored shirt is less objectionable than Les’ pee-yellow one.

    • It’s interesting that, in a strip loaded with terrible artwork, it seems easy to tell the two artists apart. The left panel looks distinctly like Burchett’s work.

  9. Professor Fate

    From the people that gave you the Pizza app.
    And once again we see the Author’s contempt for the folks behind the counter Dinkle has retired ages ago so there’s no way the salesman is going to get a dime out of him, but he soldiers on, wasting his time because an old man is cranky and wants to humiliate him – not enough morning pizza I would guess. (by the by I’ve never seen an industry show that didn’t have a place were you could get a cup of coffee and a muffin or a doughnut or some such.
    lord have I hated this arch – Dinkle’s loathsomeness coming through very clearly.