“When I told Bull I was going to introduce him, it really showed what a crappy friend I am, just making major decisions for Bull and not even giving him any input. I mean, I am his friend, right? That’s the word for a guy who just starts showing up at your house after you get CTE and spends a lot of one-on-one time with your wife? Where’s that dweeby English teacher whose annoying wife died, maybe he can tell his what the right word for that is. Oh, right, he didn’t show up, because apparently I’m the only one in Bull’s life who gives a crap about him. Like when I lied to him to make him think he won a game he actually lost. Gosh, good thing that never came up in any awkward situation later on.”
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“And now I’d like to introduce the Bull Bushka I’ve come to know…or I would, if I could remember…where did I put those cards…oh, OK, here they are. Bull Bushka. Yes, I know him, why do you ask? Oh yeah, that’s right!
The Hall Of Fame! Yes, Bull Bushka has been inducted into the Westview Sports Hall Of Fame. I’m not from here (audible gasps from crowd) so I don’t know, who are your other local sports legends? That mascot who caught the touchdown pass? Everyone knows that was illegal and never should have counted.
So in conclusion, I know Bull Bushka. I stop by there sometimes. He’s alright, I guess. Kind of dense and a little rude at times. And that wife of his sure is wry, like unsweetened grapefruit juice.”
That was a prestige arc that went nowhere.
I didn’t even notice that but yeah, and Mickey too, along with Mr. Mickey, I presume. I likewise assume his name is Biff.
Alright. Who the hell is Mickey? I vaguely remember Jinx. Is that another daughter Batty couldn’t figure out what to do with?
Bull’s field goal-kicking daughter. She had a brief cameo appearance a few years ago.
“Yeah, so, I don’t really know the guy, but I did help him vandalize your football field. Oh, and I gave him a joke newspaper that he framed as a memento.
“I’m saying he’s dumb and a criminal. Bill Butarski, everyone!”
Beady-eyed nitpickers know Linda, Jinx, and even Mickey (complete with 40s hairstyle), but are we supposed to know the guy with the flattop seated at the “Bushka family”
tabledinette set?I do know is that I would rather see him introduce Bull than this schmo.
He hit the ground running botching a testimonial dinner, didn’t he? We start off with a revelation that Bull is the most patheticest person ever and can expect things to get worse as the week goes on.
But at least Bull is getting an award…. Batty is still waiting for his.
What are the chances that TomBat stretches this introduction speech through the entire week? Or beyond?
Been my experience at these things, no one gives a hoot about what you’re doing now, it’s all about the old days of high school, and how wonderful they were. Buck, they want you to sit down and shut up! No one cares about now.
“Ah, yes. The Bull Bushka I’ve come to know… yes… Well, he was always fucking stupid, so when the CTE hit, it already had a head start. In fact, it took everybody a couple years to realize he had the CTE. We all assumed he was being the same dim witted, hot headed jackass he had always been. These days, Bull spends every day watching tapes of his high school football games and pretending to read his high school newspapers from 1978. When he speaks, it’s just to show us how illiterate and stupid he is. I wouldn’t say it’s a comical kind of stupid. More of an annoying stupid. But stupid nevertheless. That’s the Bull Bushka I’VE come to know.”
This is the sort of idiocy we got with “the coming band reunion” last Summer. There was a notice sent in the Snail Mail (because it’s still 1947 in Batty’s pointy little bald head) announcing some HUGE event — that was happening NEXT FRIGGIN WEEK!
That’s not how this works. That’s not how ANY of this works. But BatBoy can be excused. How would he know, living in his mom’s attic with all his comic books.
Yet, a room full of Ohioans were able to drop everything and attend on a moment’s notice, what with this thick skulled, knuckle dragging lunkhead being such a beloved figure in Westview. They’ve come to honor his victorious exploits as a player (oh…), or was it his success as a coach…? (well, nope…) ummmm… Wait… His heroic career in the NFL…? (dang it!) His wise leadership at the school? Okay, I couldn’t say that with a straight face either. Maybe they just needed the dues. Or maybe no reason at all. Because forced and contrived. Yeah, probably.
I am curious why Linda isn’t at the head table with Bull. Aren’t “gurls” allowed?
I’m still wondering why he’s being inducted now. His playing days are long behind him, and he hasn’t been coaching for at least a couple of years.
Wait…they didn’t contact the inductees until one week before the ceremony? How do they handle the ones that have to arrange for travel? For my high school’s first banquet, the inductees included someone who had to fly in to California from Texas.
If someone wants to come from out of town, you have to drive to pick them up, no matter how far away they live. Then they have to stay with you for a month. Then you drive them back.
I think it’s because no one ever leaves Westview. So they can just walk over anytime.