Did I Stutter?

Link To Today’s Strip

Back in 1994 BatYak was considered something of a modern-day Nostradamus, courageously addressing timely social issues of the day long before they became fashionable. Guns in schools, teen pregnancy, drunk prom driving, alcoholism, divorce, talk radio, medical chart snafus…BatHack saw these broad social trends coming and tried to communicate these truths to us via his unique brand of obtuse wry banter, which unfortunately was just a bit too far ahead of its time for the “average” comic strip reader to properly appreciate. In an era marked by noisy dissonant pop-culture phenomenons like Nirvana and “For Better And For Worse” Batiuk’s subtle, more writer-ly take was lost in the shuffle. It was truly America’s loss.

Anyhow, it’s a real delight to see the still-dying Fred manage to weakly mutter his approval for the #hashtag movement as his loveless wife and reluctant caretaker Ann looks on with barely interested disgust at the frail wretch of a man her philandering ambition-crushing husband has become. So it turns out that the whole #anti-guns in schools arc was just a prop to take a victory lap acknowledging that FW addressed the issue way before it became trendy and fashionable. Nicely done. If any “young people” get teen pregnant or let talk radio inspire them to blow up post offices he’ll have that covered too. Sigh.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “Did I Stutter?

  1. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    I guess we’re supposed to know who these people are and the significance of May 13, 1994.

  2. bigd1992

    Still trying to relevant and get that Pulitzer.

  3. billytheskink

    Whoa… an old strip that is actually reprinted verbatim. That’s a new turn for Funky Winkerbean, but I suppose Ayers’ contract doesn’t require him to redraw old strips. When TB still drew the strip he always redrew reminiscences of old panels in his newer “realistic” style.

    Anyways, it looks like TB is patting himself on the back for mentioning the words “gun” and “school” in the same comic strip 25 years ago. Poor Frd Fairgood was the star of that story arc, as he is in today’s strip, seizing the revolver from the hands of the unnamed bespectacled, big coat-wearing, bad Vanilla Ice haircut-having student who brought it and fired it off in his office trying to prove that it wasn’t loaded and then shipping said student off in a squad car The other fellow in today’s/1994’s strip is Mr. Collins, a retired English teacher who was subbing for Les that day as he was off taking one of his classes to a performance of Macbeth. Collins initially took the gun from the student during a study hall period and led him to Principal Fred’s office, where said student was somehow allowed to touch the gun again. Also, Susan flirted with Les on the bus ride to the play right in the middle of the two week arc.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Spectacular post courtesy of the world’s leading Batiukstorian. Sorry, but you are. Act II was pretty much one huge prestige arc and it was stupid, annoying and exhausting to a point where it drove me away for years at a time, so I don’t remember this one.

      Susan Smith…ugh, there’s a character no one misses. He actually created a female character who was madly obsessed and in love with Les Moore, to the point of becoming suicidal over him, no less. And just like he did with Fred Fairgood he eventually turned on his creation, spitefully kneecapping the character and kicking her to the curb like garbage, just because he could. It’s really weird how he does that.

      • Double Sided Scooby Snack

        But I loved the cat fight between Slutty Susan and Race-Changing Cayla over the right to chomp Les’s hog. Even after watching Goatee Boy dance with Ghost Lisa on New Years Eve, they were both still all in! You have to admire tenacity like that.

        Station Wagon Susan was also present for THE most dickish thing Les EVER said, bar none: After losing her career in disgrace for kissing Les, as she was boxing up her belongings at the school, Les said, “By the way… Hell of a kiss!”

        Oh, Christ, REALLY? “Your job is done, your career is over, and you need to leave town in humiliation, but I enjoyed kissing you, and that’s all that REALLY matters.”

        Susan was one of the few adult female characters who looked like an adult female. That is, without being a fat blob.

        I’d love to see her come back and make Crayola nervous. Unfortunately, that would require Batty to attempt some “writing,” so forget it.

        • Charles

          Thing that made Les especially appalling in all of that was how passive he was. He never actually spoke to Susan before or immediately after the kiss about her feelings, and then when Susan decided to resign, he didn’t try to defend her against Nate or suggest that that wasn’t necessary. He only later came to her with an attempt to talk her out of it that I would call “halfhearted” only that would be an insult to anyone who ever halfheartedly tried to do something. He didn’t even tenth-ass the attempt to convince her to say.

          He gave every impression as a guy who wanted Susan to kill herself so he could boast about how a girl killed herself over him. It would be such a redemption for him after all the strips of him being a loser with Cindy and Mary Sue Sweetwater or Kelly.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      When it comes to forecasting pain and misery, nobody does it better than Batty.

  4. Paul Jones

    The sad part is that I expected this “Hey, Gang…..I talked about it (ineptly) far earlier” strip last Sunday.

  5. gleeb

    That can’t be Fred Fairgood. For one thing, his head is entirely the wrong shape.

    (Why, unlike every other online form, does this one ask for email first?)

  6. Rusty Shackleford

    Wait, so is Batty against security cameras and armed guards? Things that, unlike the walkout, would actually improve safety.

    Must be, since the old fool represents Batty’s view.

  7. Gerard Plourde

    Kids in shirtsleeves enjoying a school-sanctioned respite from classes. Meanwhile, Funky is trapped in the frozen Hell of Westviewian Winter.

    And what local news outlet would still be showing week-old footage of a peaceful march? (Unless the school board is voting on action to discipline Nate and Les for numerous violations of district policy.)

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Yeah, good observation. I was so busy snarking, I never noticed the lack of continuity. Though I did notice it in today’s Crankshaft.

      I think we have a desperate Batty on our hands. Nothing else matters to him now except awards and accolades.

  8. Eldon of Galt

    The pretentious, self-congratulatory tone of “Funky Winkerbean” is what really sets it apart from other crummy, badly-written comic strips. It eased-up for a while, but now the Author is really pouring it on. As always, he seems to think that merely mentioning a serious issue makes him a Great and Important Artist. No need to to do anything else properly. And now, he doesn’t even have to do new material. Just recycle the “greatest” hits.

  9. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    You thought this arc was over. Well, you were wrong about that. No Awards Committee has called Battyboy yet, so we’re going to pound this one some more, thank yew.

    Next week, Princ’Pal Nate climbs off of Cayla long enough to wave a book in front of the entire school to announce “This school is now officially a GUN FREE ZONE!”

    12 year old Bernie Silverberg, still wearing the same dirty baseball undershirt, raises his hand and asks if ALL of Westview could be declared a Gun Free Zone. Princ’pal Nate asks how that could be done. Bernie says, “We will string a pink ribbon on all the telephone poles, encircling the entire town. Everything inside the ribbon will be considered a Gun Free Zone.”

    Everyone smirked and cheered, even the cheerleaders and football players! Bernie Silverberg became Westview’s firsts Jewish student council president, criminals turned in their guns All Over Ohio, and Batty took a victory lap around his mom’s attic, pausing only to high-five himself in the mirror!

  10. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    In case you are keeping score, we’re still standing at ZERO actual adults in this comic strip rolling their eyes or shaking their heads over the notion that stunts and demonstrations have even the most microscopic effect on criminal or anti-social behavior. In Batty’s pointy little bald head, kids walking around waving signs is all that’s needed to take guns out of the hands of criminals and other dangerous miscreants.

    Even F-f-f-f-rrddd f-f-fff-f-fuckn Frrrgddd gets to check in today. Apparently, even principals think ditching classes and unlawfully exiting the school is The Only Way Things Will Ever Change Around Here.

  11. Jimmy

    Wait, so is Batiuk for or against increased school security? I’m confused.