Something Definitely Needs to Be Dialed Down

Well, I never! Cindy called Harry! Someone better stop all this hilariousness, before it’s too late.
So many of the story lines in this strip lately have started this way. Somebody needs to go back to Westview because somebody there has something old timey that apparently nobody else in the world has and can’t be shipped or sent digitally. And even though apparently it’s so rare and forgotten that it only exists in Westview, somehow people will end up being wildly passionate about whatever old crap it is.
Here’s Batiuk’s writing process now:
“Gosh, I sure like old comics/movie serials/decoder rings/silent movies. If only I didn’t have to write this stupid strip, I could spend all my time reading back issues of Old Timey Junk Quarterly. I know! I could do a four month arc where someone in Westview has silent movies, and somebody else wants to see them, for some reason!” (runs the bases in his mind)
Also, am I crazy, or should it not be Cindy Jarre now? I don’t know if this is just Batiuk not giving a crap about his strip or “She was Cindy Summers in high school and that’s the only period of her live that matters”, but either way it’s dumb.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “Something Definitely Needs to Be Dialed Down

  1. Sorry–the sheer stupid contrivance of this made my brain explode, and my brain actually has some complexities, so it might be a while. Tom Batiuk’s brain, on the other hand, is extraordinarily simple so I’m sure he’ll be back in a couple of minutes.

  2. Rusty Shackleford

    So apparently they know how to use modern technology as they are communicating using Google HangOver…ha ha ha…

    Calm down Skunky this isn’t high school anymore and nobody cares if Cindy Summers-Jarre calls.

    Almost as believable as senior citizen writes her first book, it’s an instant hit and people want to take a picture with her…

    • Epicus Doomus

      Yet shipping technology, like for example shipping videotapes or DVDs, still eludes the gang.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Well at least Cindy called ahead to say they were coming over…usually they just show up unannounced.

  3. billytheskink

    “Cindy Summers called you!? The guy she went to high school with that she sees at every single one of the many reunions? The guy who is best buds with her ex-husband, who she remains on pretty friendly terms with? The guy who delivered her mail for a decade?

    Unbelievable! Why wouldn’t she call me? I was the one that found that Xaxian “minister” that married her and Mason…

    Oh… Ohhhhhhhhhh. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t expect any calls from her. Good for you though, Crazy.”

  4. Epicus Doomus

    So what does John incredulity imply here? Is he amazed that a star of Cindy’s magnitude would deign to call a cretin like Harry? He has to know that Funky, Harry and Cindy go way back, I mean how couldn’t he know that? Is he star-struck? Because you’d think that his gig as a consultant on the Starbuck Jones movie would have tempered that somewhat. He’s acting how Cody would act if he learned that Summer called Owen, which makes no sense given how he’s a goddamned middle-aged man for God’s sake.

    And why the mystery about Harry’s identity? Surely both Boy Lisa and Jessica know who Harry is. He was the town’s lone mail carrier for decades, he’s a fixture at Montoni’s and he works at Komix Korner, so why the stupid mystery? Why is this reveal supposed to be funny? A FW character into pop-culture from forty-five years before he was born is not particularly noteworthy, much less funny.

  5. Paul Jones

    If we’re not dealing with the sort of passive, gloomy stupidity that made Les and Lisa waste years of their lives just missing one another or the obsession over old junk that sane people with taste have a good reason for not caring about, we’re stuck dealing with the limiting and silly obsession with who people were in the artificial environment called an American high school.

  6. Schrödinger's Droopy

    What we’ll have here is a story of a true genius whose career was destroyed by petty snarkers. Any resemblance between “Butter Brickel” and “Todd Brickbat” will be as coincidental as anything else in this crap strip. The resemblance to the Marianne Winters suicide arc will be equally original.

  7. Gerard Plourde

    While a person doing a biographical documentary about an actor might want to see examples of the subject’s work as background research and even include a clip or two in the finished product, seeing every movie he appeared in is a colossal waste of time. Going to Ohio solely for that purpose is doubly so.

    • Cindy’s following in Mason’s footsteps…remember, he had to go to Ohio in order to read every single issue of Starbuck Jones for his starring role.

      • And that almost made more sense. They live in Hollywoodland for fuck’s sake. Aside from the crappy old Valentine, what silent film resources would be found in Ohio and not LA?

  8. Rusty

    I eagerly await the reveal of Butter Brinkel, who will definitely not look like Bull with an old-timer derby hat.

    • Except for the derby hat, which we might yet see, that description checks out with the “pipeline” preview that Batty teased on the FW blog. Also note that the drawing has the date “6/27,” which tells me this old-time Hollywood mystery is going to drag out at least until then.

      • Jimmy

        I like how Batiuk teases that he “wrote” the bulk of the story while doing his Lisa’s Trilogy book tour (Did he really have a book tour? Who would come out to such a thing?).

        In reality, I bet he copied the entire “Arbuckle” entry from an old Funk & Wagnalls encyclopedia.

        • Professor Fate

          “wrote” the bulk of the story while doing his Lisa’s Trilogy book tour”
          I can only presume that he needed to do something while he was waiting for people that wanted him to sign his book to show up.


    I was going to say that maybe Cindy kept her name, since she had an established media presence, but then I remembered the Batiukverse is a strict patriarchy.

  10. Too bad Cindy doesn’t know anyone in California because there she could find film historians and even whole film libraries at major universities (looking at you USC) dedicated to silent movie actors. She could even read newspaper archives that detail the daily recounting of the trial (looking at you LA Times). University law libraries (looking at you UCLA) might even have transcripts. Yup, too bad Cindy doesn’t know anyone that lives in California that could help her with her research and has to call on a comic book salesman in Ohio for help.

    • Professor Fate

      Yes this all of this. You are going to do a documentary about someone who worked in California during the silent movie era, so where do you go? Ohio.
      Makes sense to me.
      argg this strip.

  11. Count of Tower Grove

    Heavens to Murgatroyd! My suggestion of furburgers for dinner the other day actually had entertainment potential.