Baby’s First ER Visit

A Children’s Book By Les Moore.

Link to today’s strip.

Don’t worry, Jessica, I’m sure you’ll be there to walk down the aisle to Skyler’s first chemotherapy session.    Unless Tom Batiuk has big plans for you in store, that is.

Kind of odd how we get this little interlude between the Butter Brinkel chapters (I assume that will start up again next week).  Even odder, how quickly we go from “Skyler’s in the hospital!!!” to “(shrug) It’s nothing.”

My guess is that this is, in fact, an interlude and nothing more.  Because I can’t imagine that Batiuk was going to do something dramatic with Skyler and just got cold feet; this is a guy who used a stroke (Fred) and traumatic brain injury (Bull) for weeks of bathos.

No, I suspect that if Skyler had cracked his skull and Jessica had video’d in to say, “Well, that’s sure sad, Dullard, but I can’t fly out to be with him–you should see the Butter Brinkel footage I’m compiling!” people might have thought the real drama was being shunted aside for some poorly thought-out nostalgia trip.  So instead, the poorly thought-out nostalgia trip takes a rest for a meaningless interlude.

And it really is meaningless.  All it demonstrates is that the Fairgoods are the worst parents ever.  They should be called the Fairpoors.

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15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “Baby’s First ER Visit

  1. Stay tuned for the childhood onset CTE arc.

  2. Max Power

    Last week I was hoping that the masthead shot of Mrs. Boy Lisa freaking out was going to be her reaction to Cindy digging up Butter Brinkel’s corpse.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    The story Darin is telling sounds 100% like someone covering up for abuse, like “I walked into a doorknob” or “I tripped and fell down the stairs”. I’m sure Batiuk doesn’t intend it that way, because that would involve way more drama than he’s interested anymore. But really, Skyler was just laying on the bed with his grandma and just fell off? She wasn’t holding him at all? And there was something near the bed right where his head could hit it? This is terrible for lots of reasons.

    • Epicus Doomus

      And lest we forget that Fred was likewise involved in a mysterious “fall” that only this Grammy character witnessed. If it happens again I think it’s safe to say it’ll become a pattern, if it hasn’t already.

      Yeah, the kid is five years old, an age where most kids have mastered lying down on a bed. Then again his parents are Boy Lisa and Jessica, so it’s entirely possible that Boy Boy Lisa isn’t exactly the sharpest chisel in the tool drawer.

    • Buckeye Feculence

      He slipped on a puddle of his vomit

  4. Gerard Plourde

    So is this interlude a kind of bookend for the mini arc featuring the other missing offspring, perpetual student Summer Moore?

  5. Epicus Doomus

    Baby’s first head injury…the third most important milestone of a young Westviewian mother’s life, right behind baby’s first biopsy and the day they’re finally weaned from pizza mash and start eating solid slices. And Jessica MISSED it, god damn it, all because she had to inexplicably sit around for a few years waiting for Cindy to ask her to hold the camera again. The things we sacrifice in order to fulfill our dreams and ambitions, eh? If only there was some magical method Jessica could use to travel to California from Ohio as needed as opposed to having to stay out there indefinitely.

    Even funnier is the fact that IF Jessica had just moved back to Ohio with her family like a normal person, Cindy could have used her recent visit there to ask Jessica about doing the Butthouse Bricktard documentary. THEN she could have left for Hollywood and he could have done these absentee parent gags AND it would have made a slight modicum of sense, perhaps. But alas, we’ll never know, because “writing” is hard.

  6. billytheskink

    Jess is just crying about missing Skyler’s life events now? I’m pretty sure she missed his birth.

  7. ComicTrek

    I guess I can understand her distress somewhat. I mean, it is Westview; the first trip to the ER is likely considered a major milestone there.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Baby’s first X-ray, baby’s first MRI, baby’s first CAT scan, baby’s first tourniquet, baby’s first transfusion, baby’s first cast…the Westview Bakery features cakes for all of life’s special occasions. This month’s special…”Baby’s First In-Ground Pool Mishap”…just in time for summer!

  8. Paul Jones

    The fun part is having to remember certain things inherent in having Batiuk writing this slop:

    1) Trying to point out that Annie looks as if she’s abusing people is a non-starter because he’s too dumb to notice the implications of her being sole witness to accidents.

    2) He thinks this is what a mother is supposed to look like.

    and

    3) He doesn’t understand that states try to attract money from the film industry to fill their coffers.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Good point. Batty should know this as several movies have been filmed in Cleveland recently.

  9. Smirks 'R Us

    “Jess, are you crying!?!”

    “Yes, I was thinking about comic books, and movies about comic book characters, and documentaries about comic book actors. Those always make me cry.

    Now then, how’s Sketchy, no Scooby, well whatever his name is. How’s he doing?”

  10. Batgirl

    If Skyler’s age weren’t so unclear, I would be all “Psh, what a slow starter! My kid had two ER visits before he could talk properly, one of which involved stomach pumping!”
    He fell out of the back of a (parked) pickup truck onto his head when he was a year old, and a couple of years later got into the one remaining non-child-safe aspirin bottle in the city. That’s at least got a bit of drama to it. Off a bed? Onto a probably carpeted floor? Story does not check out.