Wake Me Wendy War is Over

For once, I can at least give you all a preview of today’s strip, gleaned from the “Pipeline” of Batiuk’s blog. Just picture this illustration colored in…hell, color it in yourself, it might land you a new career! Picture the “Funky Winkerbean” header at the top, with Ruby’s or Mindy’s smug, disembodied head alongside the logo. Superimpose “Wayback Wendy” in huge, distorted digital type, across the top of the cover, and don’t forget the Atomik Komix “fallout shelter” in the upper left. At the bottom, throw in a single, round panel showing Mindy and Ruby congratulating each other on the success of their brilliant joint production. Lastly, give a “tip of the Funky Felt Tip” to the artist (not a woman) who contributed the artwork.

Update: Yeah, so I was wrong…rather than a sideway Sunday comix cover, only a portion of the artwork above is used. Unless Batiuk “disappears” Ruby, now that she’s served her purpose, maybe down the road it’ll get the full Atomik Komix treatment. –TFH

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39 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

39 responses to “Wake Me Wendy War is Over

  1. It’s stupid and unappealing, so yeah, it’s Atomik Comix all the way.

    This seems like something Harvey Comics would love to have as a property…which is why I would not have given it a second glance when I was reading comics.

  2. Banana Jr. 6000

    I hope it IS a Wayback Wendy cover, so we can move on from this dreadful arc.

  3. William Thompson

    But Wayback Wendy is a superhero, she is she is she is! She wears a cape just like a real superhero! The cape has a clasp just like her wristwatch-belt! She wears toilet-scrubber gloves and geek boots! Now say she’s a superhero or Batiuk will hold his breath until he turns blue!

  4. The Nelson Puppet

    PERFECT!

  5. billytheskink

    Issue no. 1 will be about how Wayback Wendy stole her costume from Disney’s Gummi Bears…

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Now this would make a funny strip. Hagglemore runs in. Mindy, you idiot. How could you blatantly steal from Disney? I’ve got an army of lawyers in there, they are going to sue us into oblivion. I’m broke. Good job girlfriend, you just killed the company. And take your smelly partner and go…the coffee and cigarette smell is overpowering.

      I got a job managing a bookstore some old hag is running out of her garage. Ughhhhh….she wants me to be more than a manager if you know what I mean. Ughhhhh

  6. Banana Jr. 6000

    Mindy, I hope you enjoy that cup of coffee Pete bought you, because that’s your honeymoon.

  7. Epicus Doomus

    First he creates a new character with no personality at all, then he creates a scenario that’s too ridiculous to be believed, then he caps it off by creating a comic book character no one could possibly like. Because they’re (gasp) women, naturally (ugh) “Wayback Wendy” is all cutesy-wutsey and childish, so full of twee she could blast Summer into low Earth orbit. Apparently the adorable try-hard ladies just aren’t capable of creating a “cool” superhero like Rip Sponge-Tidal Cop or The Indigestible Slop, but they CAN create a girly-girl frilly character who looks like something plopped out by a unicorn after an all-Smurfs diet. What does this “Wayback Wendy” do, exactly, travel back in time to rescue baskets of kittens and plant rainbows on highway median strips?

    And just to re-affirm that Ruby is chock full of wholesome matronly wisdom, he has her give Mindy’s fella Pete her seal of approval. Not for handing them two dream jobs in paradise, mind you, but because he brought them coffee. Yet another strong, able and believable female character for the BatYak stable, one who’ll slot in quite nicely with Becky and Cayla and Jessica and the rest of FW’s good-natured doormats. Just terrible, terrible stuff.

    • comicbookharriet

      Yeah. Don’t even get me started on the research I found that women illustrators at the turn of the century were expected to work on children’s books and fashion because it suited their ‘feminine sensibilities’. In a bid to be ‘progressive’ he’s adopted a circa 1919 mindset.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Having Mindy announce that she was going to work with Ruby on a series of children’s books would have made more sense than this. I can’t see any reason why Mindy’s new comic character couldn’t be a modern female superhero-type and not a Rainbow Brite ripoff, but obviously the women of the Funkyverse are forever stuck in the gender roles of the 1920s and therefore must conform to certain “standards” in order to remind the reader that they are in fact GIRLS making comic books. Maybe their next title could be “Supermommy”, the superhero who bakes cookies for the boys and can leap skinned knees in a single bound.

        • Charles

          Yeah, it could have been amusing if they had come up with something that wasn’t broadly different from what they had done before.

          “Atomic Ape, but a woman orangutan. She flies around in space punching the shit out of things. She’s got a bonobo sidekick that carries a baseball bat to beat shit to death with. They’re chicks and they’re brutal.”

          And then Chester, Pete and Darin would insist that to designate that the orangutan and bonobo were female, they’d both wear lipstick and have bows in their hair, which was impossibly long for their species.

          PRINT IT.

  8. AmigoLupus

    The artstyle makes it look like it’s going to be aggressively twee. And just to reiterate how stupid this concept is for Batiuk’s attempt at feminism, Wayback Wendy doesn’t have the power to go back in time; her DOG is the one with all the powers.

  9. erdmann

    Do we know who really drew the Wendy art? It’s a nice, clean style that would work well for a children’s book.
    It isn’t really a man again, is it? Surely, it can’t be. Can it?

  10. Banana Jr. 6000

    The owner of Atomic Komix is sure going to be surprised Monday morning when he sees his insolvent company has added a new employee. Who has appointed herself project manager, launched a new title, reassigned other employees, and approved a character design, all without his knowledge.

    Have you noticed that Atomic Komix has absolutely no business employees? Not even a receptionist or office manager. And the owner is rarely seen. It’s just artists and writers, who can apparently do whatever they want, and somehow all the logistics are magically taken care of. It’s just another facet of Tom Batiuk’s pathetic wish fulfillment. The mean ol’ business side doesn’t exist in his fantasy world, leaving artists free to create quality works like… Starbuck Jones, The Inedible Pulp, and so on.

    And if that weren’t obnoxious enough, today’s strip further muddies the waters of the Pete-Mindy relationship. Apparently he’s a “keeper” now, because he brought her $5 worth of coffee. I guess Pete needed a couple weeks to rebuild his savings after the County Fair Ball Toss Tiger incident. I’m just not sure if “keeper” an upgrade or downgrade from boyfriend, or if that was an upgrade or downgrade from “engagement tiger.”

    Could Tom Batiuk pry himself away from Wayback Wendy’s model sheets for a moment, and spend one panel clarifying to the audience if these two are engaged or not? I know I keep beating this drum, but an engagement between two major characters is usually a big deal in an ensemble story. Or to any human beings with a mental age above 12.

    • erdmann

      The lack of even a hint of a business side to Atomik Komix is really starting to gnaw at me. For the sake of verisimilitude it ought at least be mentioned.
      And while we’re discussing business, it seems to me a few important matters should have been ironed out before Ruby drew her first sketch. Who will own the art she’s creating? Will originals be kept by Atomik or returned to her? Given her history, she should have wanted that clarified in writing in advance. Will she be credited as a co-creator? Will she have any ownership of the character? For that matter, will Mindy? She apparently started work on Wendy as a side project, not part of her job, yet it seems she was working on it while on company time. What about royalties? And who will have to pay up when the attorneys representing the current owners of Mr. Peabody and Sherman comes a-calling?

      • William Thompson

        We’ll get that business hint when Darrin tells Mopey Pete that his girlfriend’s creation has tripled AK’s sales. (He’ll emphasize this by holding up three fingers.) Then they’ll get nervous and reassure one another that they’re still popular with AK’s macho customer-base.

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          That would actually be a good plot. Wayback Wendy is inexplicably a huge hit, and Pete and Darin now have to devote all their time to drawing and writing it. What will these comic book industry professionals do when forced to work on something that’s not in their immediate interests?

    • Charles

      Honestly, I think Batiuk believes that simply hand-waving that issue with Chester being so absurdly wealthy that’d he be able to cover any expense is sufficient. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous the premise is. It doesn’t matter that he showed him selling his personal collection of old seed catalogs (wtf) to keep the lights on one month. He’ll always have more money to throw down this hole.

      Or Batiuk will be even more absurd and claim that this shithead establishment is wildly successful.

  11. Paul Jones

    I remember Guisewite’s take on how boys get murder weapons as toys while girls get cosmetics: Mabel the Saleslady told her supervisor that her customer was transforming into She-Hulk.

    This is somewhat applicable to the situation because you can just bet that the Rayna Telgenmeyers of the world are muttering in disgust at Batiuk’s latest diversity flopperoo.

  12. Smirks ‘R Us

    I’ll take “Words people never use to describe coffee” for $400, Alex.

    • Doug Puthoff

      Batiuk doesn’t give a fig. He more interested in making the words in the balloon look neat than he is in writing actual words human beings would say.

  13. comicbookharriet

    All three historical figures in the cover are Eurocentric. How un-woke.

  14. Gerard Plourde

    And beyond being able to time travel to the past, what exactly is the storyline that will support an ongoing title? If TomBa is thinking comedy along the lines of Anamaniacs or Pinky and The Brain, he’s in the wrong medium, as the action and movement cartoons offer would be necessary

    Alternatively, if he’s thinking of a semi-serious treatment, the artwork appears to target an early elementary school (K-3 at the most) audience. Where is Atomik Comix going to sell these besides comic book stores, which in my admittedly limited experience aren’t exactly little kid friendly.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      That was my thought: this property seems targeted towards little girls. Even then, I think it’s outdated, because creators are getting better at making stories about girls that don’t completely turn off boys (Frozen, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic).

      And… well, just look at it. It looks very 70s. Especially considering the lack of originality in the historical figures: Shakespeare, generic queen, generic Revolutionary War soldier. Bill and Ted met a more robust collection.

      Unfortunately, interesting questions like “who’s the target market” and “how are they going to sell the books” can’t be explored, because this is a business-free world.

      Which is also why Tom Batiuk can’t make any of this material interesting: he’s eliminated all sources of conflict. There’s no business or logistic pressures, not even the question of whether the comic books sell. And his fantasy comic book people won’t have one iota of disagreement about any aspect of Wayback Wendy. The story has no conflict, therefore it has no plot.

  15. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    In December, Hagglestein makes his once-every-four-months visit to his komix factory. By then, there are twenty people working there. Minty, Baggy Eyes, and Dullwit have hired every ex-komix maker they met.

    “If I were paying you people, I’d be pretty fucking mad about this! What kind of komix are you making?”

    “Oh, whatever kind we want. Hey, say hi to Carl. He’s the janitor for the lawyers’ office downstairs. We hired him in November. He’s making a komix about an evil janitor, Buckethead Bob, who sets fire to office buildings with his breath.”

  16. Banana Jr. 6000

    In additional to everything else that sucks about this asinine story, isn’t it missing a major callback here?

    In today’s strip, Pete brought Ruby Lith a coffee.

    Pete, who is a male in the comic book industry, brought a coffee for Ruby, who is a female in the comic book industry.

    Why does sound familiar? Oh, I remember, it’s because RUBY SPENT ALL LAST WEEK COMPLAINING ABOUT HAVING TO MAKE COFFEE FOR MEN. Today, the exact opposite situation happens, and the story doesn’t even acknowledge it??!! The story should have been building up to this point!

    Hell, this misses a great opportunity at a joke. Give them the coffee two panels earlier, have them spit it out, and then Pete turns around and says “Van Dyke Brown.” It’s funny, you see, because Ruby bragged that she washed her brushes in the men’s coffee, so now a man has done the same to her.

    How can Tom Batiuk ignore an obvious story point like this?

  17. Charles

    To answer a question from yesterday, I think the only way not to be hired by Atomik Komix is to apply for a job there.

    None of its employees actually applied for the job they have. None of them came to Atomik Komix with the intention of getting a job. Pete and, oh, Darin too, I guess, yeah that would be good too, went to a mysterious meeting with Chester which landed them their jobs. Mindy wandered into the office because she doesn’t exist without Pete, saw a poster and thought “That’s cool! I’ll color it!”, which led to her heretofore undiscovered talent as a colorist getting her hired. Ruby was just being shown the office when she found a notebook with an idea in it and was hired right there.

    So apparently you can’t be hired if you actually want to work there. It’s like a Catch-22 for dumb petty crap.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Batty is queen of the forced and contrived ass-pull. And he lives off of Wish Fulfillment Fantasies. Shit happens for no reason, except BatWit makes it happen.

  18. CRM114

    Yaaay!! I just saw this. Someone will die and very soon! Yaaay!!

    Bye bye, Heh.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Awesome!!! Probably Bull, but would be great if it were Les, Dinkleberry, Skunk Head, Flunky, or Hulky.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Agh, the same old tired bag of tricks. Someone gets bad disease, we see them suffer. Lots of wordless strips as the story is dragged out. Then someone days.

      Batty then does lots of interviews where he talks about art, writing, and telling stories. Same old crap.

      He should give up his spot to some up and coming female artist.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Why is that fucking asshole Cinderblock Head smirking about Bullsquat’s advanced dementia??

      Would be great if we discover a Cinderblock Head is actually Masky McDeath, and he’s the one to escort Bullsquat away.

    • Gerard Plourde

      Here we go again.I guess it should come as no surprise that he’s doing this to Bull. But I’m curious about the repetitive behavior part. It doesn’t appear to be a symptom of CTE.

    • It’ll probably be Buck, or maybe Bull’s wife. Batiuk just loves torturing Bull too much.