Instant Replay.

Link to today’s strip

Funky and Holly have satellite TV? They’re in town right? Why don’t they just get cable?

I’ll admit, I’m a technological Luddite. When I moved to my own place I hooked up an antenna to my TV so I can watch the three local stations that can still come in analogue. But mostly I bum Wifi off my housemate and use it to watch pirated episodes of Time Team on YouTube from my laptop. I got one of those Roku sticks for Christmas to turn my WalMart bargain flat-screen into a ‘smart’ TV, but I just use it for more YouTube.

So it sickens mean to realize that Funky and Holly are more ‘tech savy’ than me. Holly most of all. In fact, for the rest of this week I am choosing to imagine that Holly just shut off the satellite feed from the remote and pretended like it fritzed out to mess with Funky.

And what is up with Funky this week? Did Ayers lose a bet with Batiuk and now has to draw Funky getting a surprise prostate exam from the Invisible Man every day?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

36 responses to “Instant Replay.

  1. William Thompson

    If only those two assholes were old enough to remember the days of hearing sport events on the radio! Hey, what would a Funky radio sportscast sound like? “The player shoots! He scores! The team wins! The crowd goes mild!”

  2. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    “We inbounded the ball… shot the ball and won!!” not how anyone talks, first of all. Second, all 3 are self-evident from “WE WON!!!” yesterday.

    • Cabbage Jack

      I’m somewhat shocked she didn’t say “we inbounded the ball…shot the ball…the ball went through the hoop…the score was adjusted by two points…we won…the ball bounced half as high as its first bounce…the ball bounced half as high a second time…someone placed a hand atop the ball and pressed it flush with the floor to preclude further bouncing…everyone was celebrating and this person was concerned the ball might continue to bounce and unbalance an unsuspecting bystander.” I guess he ran out of space in the panel?

  3. I’m not a sportsperson, so I was wondering about Holly’s dialogue in panel one. I guess it’s just Batiuk’s need to paint that zeppelin.

    This week is just more of Batiuk saying “I really hate Funky. What can I do to smash his hopes in? I know, I’ll have him freak out about missing a sportsball shot.”

  4. Epicus Doomus

    And, predictably enough, “technology” is to blame for sad-sack Funky’s inability to stop chugging hot chocolate for three seconds. He should get one of those chairs with the hot chocolate dispenser built right into the arm, then all his problems would be solved, at least until the chair’s first firmware update.

    Coming in 2026: Funky, after a coroner’s mix-up that results in his corpse being sold to the military for munitions testing, misses his own funeral. His pals chuckle sadly at his sad-sack fate, then immediately rifle through his stuff.

  5. billytheskink

    OH NO! The dreaded “ZZZZZT” of a lost satellite television connection!

  6. Cabbage Jack

    I look forward to tomorrow’s wacky continuation, where Funky tries to watch the replay on YouTube and an anvil falls on his head.

  7. Gerard Plourde

    At the rate this week is going, I expect a cloud to appear over Funky’s head and for his name and that of the strip to change to “Joe Btfsplk”. (Apologies to Al Capp).

  8. Doghouse Reilly

    From an aesthetic viewpoint, I must confess a certain admiration for the “teeth-clenched, lipless downward grimace” that Mr. Winkerbean has worn in panel three the last two days in a row. And for what? A late February basketball game that is, if it’s the NBA, relatively unimportant, and, if it’s a college contest, not a life-or-death matter. Whichever it is, the last shot will likely be replayed ad nauseum on ESPN, Fox Sports, NBA TV, local news or quite possibly YouTube. Surely Funky’s TV won’t short out every time he tries to see what he missed…or will it? Is this his Sisyphean sports fan fate?

  9. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Kee-rist. I like watching the sportsball as much as anyone else, but I can NOT stand the people who refer to their favorite team as “we.” Look, if you’re not on the field/court as a player or coach, you’re not part of the “we.”

    If you’re thinking about jumping in with some kind of “the fans are part of the GAME” nonsense, don’t bother. If you observe carefully, you’ll see that THEY played, and WE watched. Calling the team “us” or “we” is delusional and lame.

    “But we’re FANS! We’re big FANS!”

    Do you go to the symphony and rave about how WE played that Mahler?

    I’ll bet the guys on the field don’t look at the dweebs and lardbutts in the stands and think of them as part of the team. I mean when they are just among themselves.

    I’ve played sports, by the way. I definitely knew the difference between those of us playing and those who were watching. “We” included my teammates. Period.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I get where you’re coming from, but anything that makes these characters less wordy is fine with me. Otherwise Holly would have to say “the team we root for inbounded the ball, passed the ball, and won!”

    • Like Banana, I hear you and it’s a valid viewpoint. But I hear the usage all the time. “If we can beat Team X, we’ve got a good shot at the Y Bowl.” I think it’s just a matter of identification–the team becomes “your” team and every triumph or tragedy is something very personal, as if you were on the field.

      I use “you” in the editorial sense, of course.

    • hitorque

      The one universal exception is you’re perfectly within your rights to say “WE” when cheering for a high school or university you graduated from…

      • Double Sided Scooby Snack

        But even if you graduated from the school, you’re not playing. You’re watching. “We inbounded the ball” refers only to those playing with that ball.

        Likewise if you live in the city where the team plays. Same thing.

        Know how sometimes there are actual fights in the stands between supporters of opposing teams? It’s because the fans have this distorted notion that they’re more part of the team than they really are.

        “Insult my team and you insult ME! POW!!!”

    • Buckeye Feculence

      I, too, get what you are saying; the “we” thing is a little odd to me. Seems more appropriate if someone is talking about a team of the high school or college they attend.
      I am a transplant from a different city and noticed that fans of the pro football team in my new city tend to say “we” more often than those in my old city, which made me more aware of it. I also noticed when things are good it’s “WE won!” or “WE have a good chance in the playoffs.” But when things are bad it’s “THEY stink!”

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Of course ONE person took offense.

      Read it again. I said “FANS.”

  10. Epicus Doomus

    Super Bowl XLII, two minute warning, fourth quarter. An excited Funky bursts through the front door carrying two large boxes.

    “This Undefeated Patriots 19-0 gear is going to triple in value overnight! Help me get the rest from the rental van!”

    Funky, sick in bed watching game six of the 2003 NLCS, talking on the phone.

    “No, I’m home sick in bed. Yeah, I had a ticket but I gave it to this kid I know, big Cubs fan. Stops in for pizza and coffee sometimes. Bartman, Steve Bartman. Oh look, there he is, on TV!”

    1980 Winter Olympics, USSR vs. USA.

    “Pfffft, those Russians are like a pro team, the US team has no chance. What else is on? Oooh, “Barnaby Jones”, and it’s a good one too!”

    Silent strip: Funky decked out in Washington Generals gear, angrily stomping out of an arena with “Harlem Globetrotters Tonight!” in the background.

  11. Banana Jr. 6000

    Last week, I joked that Funky’s anxious face in the banner meant he forgot to order cheese for Montoni’s again.

    That would actually be high stakes compared to this plot.

  12. Paul Jones

    Since Funky was slightly more popular than a clueless and despised outcast that only he tolerated, he will keep on getting kicks to the crotch like this.

  13. William Thompson

    Satellite failure? Odds are that Holly pushed the wrong button on the remote.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      She pushed the button that makes it go ZZZZTTT!

      • Cabbage Jack

        Meanwhile, Crazy Harry pisses himself and forgets who he is for half an hour. Agreeing to wear the shock collar was proving to be a poor decision.

  14. I have been a fan of UNC basketball since 1968, when I was 10 years old and the team earned the privilege of losing to UCLA in the NCAA finals. My Dad was a serious fan, having also gone to school there, and from then on it became a bonding experience for us to watch games together, and since TV coverage wasn’t as ubiquitous in the late 60’s early 70’s, we ended up listening to games on the crappy radio in the kitchen. We developed a deep connection to the team, knowing the names of all the players, even the bench warmers who rarely got to play. Once I got to attend UNC as a student, those players became fellow alumni, so it is only natural to refer to the team as “we” when talking about them.

    The odd thing about this week is that Funky and Holly’s apparent dedication to this unnamed basketball team has come out of left field. Assuming the team in question is Kent State, we haven’t seen any indication that Funky has any dedication to this school. He never wears a hat or sweatshirt with any college or sports logo, nor do we see any banners on the wall at Montoni’s. All evidence indicates that Funky and Holly’s sudden enthusiasm for a basketball team has been pulled out of TB’s ass for the sole purpose of a week long set of “sports disappointment” jokes that have been pulled right out of the Crankshaft playbook.

    • Professor Fate

      This – The author as is his want did not bother to spend 11 seconds to show why this game (we don’t know if it’s a college or NBA game for pete’s sake) is important to both Holly and Funky- the last time they were talking about watching tv it was Mozart in the Jungle – not especially sports oriented.
      Anyway, as we have no context, no understanding of what the emotional stakes for Funky and Holly are ( I mean even something as dumb as Funky saying ‘what a great game’ on Monday would have helped) so the ‘humor’ of Funky missing the last shot of the game (and no basketball fan is going to go make hot chocolate with 3 seconds left in a tie game – that’s PLENTY of time for one last shot) is utterly lost.
      For example in Peanuts you knew Charlie Brown worshiped the baseball player Joe Shlabotnik so when he bought 15-20 packs of baseball cards and didn’t find one card of Joe’s while Linus open’s his one pack and what do you know the first card is Joe Shlabotnik you laugh and at the same time feel Charlie Brown’s frustration at what is a very cruel world.
      And that’s another point – really in order for this arc to be ‘funny’ the reader needs to be on Funky’s side here and the Author’s obvious hostility to the character makes that impossible.
      It’s a sad mark of how badly this strip is written that we’re left utterly cold and uninvolved by a situation we’ve all been though in some form or other – maybe not missing the last play of a game but missing a call or the car not starting when you have to get to an interview say or the pizza place messing up your order.
      Well I think that’s enough.

      • hitorque

        It’s odd because Krankenschaaften characters regularly name-drop the Cavs, Browns and Indians when watching sports on TV…

      • The Peanuts episode you mention was even more poignant because it wasn’t Linus who got the card–it was Lucy. And after she’d tormented Charlie into leaving, she paused a moment, decided Joe wasn’t that cute after all, and threw the card into the trash.

        • I was startled this past week to learn that sequence of strips is not how they originally ran! The strip in which Lucy has a Joe Schlabotnik card, and won’t take any of Charlie Brown’s trades for it, and then tosses it out originally ran the 18th of August, 1963.

          The sequence where Charlie Brown buys five dollars’ worth of cards, none of them with Joe Schlabotnik, and Lucy buys one penny’s worth and gets it ran the 12th of April, 1964.

          They make so much more sense run back-to-back, and in the other order (other than that the top row of the April 1963 strip, Charlie Brown asking ‘Joe Schlabotnik? Really?’) that I understand why Schulz changed the order in book collections. But they are, to my amazement, separate events.

    • hitorque

      I missed the Kent State connection… Who plays for them again?

  15. Count of Tower Grove

    BWAWHAWHAWHAW! It’s funny because they live in Peeksville, and Anthony Fremont was rooting for the other team!

  16. hitorque

    So Dr. Funkenstein can either

    1. Switch his TV over to basic cable, assuming he double-dips (although not a lot of people do that anymore). And even if he doesn’t have basic cable, his first step should be to reset the satellite box

    2. Watch SportsCenter later that evening

    3. Get out his phone and look at twitter since the replay would have already been tweeted out

    4. And for the record, satellite doesn’t just “go out”… Either there is a monsoon or the mother of all blizzards happening outside, or Funkmaster+Hollyberry didn’t pay the bill…

  17. Jimmy

    Even if the satellite went out, the data is stored on your DVR.