Habakbuck

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand… we’re still watching Buck and Linda wade through Bull’s sports junk in today’s strip? Of course we are. This is post-40th anniversary Funky Winkerbean we’re looking at, expectations are for fools.

Oh hi, I’m billytheskink, and speaking of anniversaries… I’m proud to be the one to take you all through the 10th anniversary of this here groundbreaking blog. I will, however, profess nothing but lament that we must be subjected to the maudlin nonexistence of a story arc that is surely coming this week.

So Buck has the same problem with hoarding sports memorabilia that Bull had? That sounds like a trite but reasonable “men, amirite” bit until you consider that Bull followed his high school football career with a 4 year college career, an NFL training camp invite, assistant and head football coaching jobs at Westview High School, a head girl’s basketball coaching job at WHS, a rescinded offer to coach a college football team, and championships won in both high school football and girl’s basketball. As far as we know, Buck’s football career ended when he walked off the field at Big Walnut Tech for the last time. Bull has an excuse to have collected a bunch of junk from his decades-long career in sports. What’s Buck’s excuse?

25 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

25 responses to “Habakbuck

  1. William Thompson

    Well, this strip often feels like what insurance adjusters call “an act of God.”

  2. William Thompson

    If this story is Biblical, why can’t it be tossed out with the rest of the Apocrypha? Where’s Martin Luther when we need him?

  3. Epicus Doomus

    It’s not even a joke. No puns, no wordplay, it’s just an observation and a really dumb one at that. So Bull had a lot of old football mementos, we already knew that. In fact, we know more about those mementos than we know about the enigmatic Buck, Bull’s mysterious best friend who randomly appeared one day. What’s this guy’s deal? Why is he still around? What’s going on here?

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Well, Bull is no St Lisa whose relics must be preserved for posterity. No, Bulls tapes must be disposed of immediately along with all the rest of his crap.

  4. comicbookharriet

    You made a mistake BTS. Buck’s been collecting sports memorabilia from all his former opponents who have died as a result of his high school unnecessary roughness. It’s a literal trophy room, full of cracked helmets.

    • billytheskink

      Yeah I’ll buy that. That certainly gives Buck an excuse for his memorabilia proliferation, too. Is nothing in the Batiukverse prolific if not death?

  5. Doghouse Reilly

    I’ll confess that it’s been a while since I’ve perused the Holy Scriptures, so I’m a little rusty on its contents. Was it in the Gospel According to John Madden where Jesus said, “Blessed are the grown man-children who cannot let go of their high school football past and fill their homes with gridiron detritus, for they will make a touchdown across the Goal Line of Life”?

    • William Thompson

      Heretic! Did not the Nazarene command His team to pray “Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life?”

  6. spacemanspiff85

    I took this as Buck has the same problem as in he has a ton of Bull memorabilia in his house. The way he just randomly showed up at Bull’s house and inserted himself into his life, I’d be shocked if he DIDN’T have a shrine to Bull in his bedroom.

  7. Hitorque

    1. This wouldn’t be so awful if we even got a 60-second backstory on Hank Hill that went wider than “linebacker for BWT”

    2. If she’s just now discovering boxes in plain sight a year after Bull’s suicide, Linda evidently never goes anywhere in the house besides the kitchen…

    3. What is all this shit? I’ve known high school stars turned lifelong high school coaches and none of them hoard like this… You never see this stockpile in Gil Thorpe’s home?

    4. Linda realizes this hall of fame only wants the most prized items, right? That this isn’t an excuse to dump everything Bull ever owned on some poor sucker who has to organize it…

    5. You’d *think* that Linda would have an open invitation for all of Bull’s classmates, teammates, relatives, and former students (which must be 60% of the people living in northeast Ohio) and just let them take what they want, instead of busting her ass moving it?

    • Epicus Doomus

      It’s interesting how none of his former students or teammates kept it touch with Bull, even though he was a player, coach and AD at WHS for decades. No former players, assistants, nobody. Even his funeral centered on his slapstick idiocy and high school bullying, not a single former teammate or player anywhere to be seen.

      Except for Buck Budlow, the Man No One Knows. Apparently the experience of playing high school football against Bull was enough for ol’ Buck, so he sealed himself up inside his trailer to die, only emerging thirty-five years later upon the news of Bull retirement. It was like a rebirth for ol’ Buck, a reason to reconnect with the only person who really mattered in his life. Then Bull died (because of playing football against him, no less) and now Buck has no one again. This BatYam guy is one sick dude sometimes.

  8. Banana Jr. 6000

    Oh, fuck you, Linda. “Sigh… it’s such a nuisance dealing with the objects that gave my dead husband’s life meaning ” Which you and your dead hisband’s rival are currently throwing in the trash while flirting at each other. This isn’t a comic strip, this is the world’s slowest cuckold porn.

  9. ComicTrek

    You mean Lamentations, right?

    • William Thompson

      The story of Buck’s non-life and non-career may be found in the Book of Jobless.

  10. Paul Jones

    Linda never did have much patience with her husband’s love of sports. It just got worse now that he’d dead.

  11. Banana Jr. 6000

    Yeah really. I can’t tell if Buck wants to sleep with Linda or Bull. He”s around there so much, it’s got to be at least one of the two.

  12. So, Linda doesn’t want to keep a single, solitary thing to remind her of her husband? Wow, that’s really cold- blooded.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      She’s going to keep the cream cheese. And the washing machine.

    • ComicTrek

      Which is probably TB showing us that Les is a “better” person than Linda. (Yeah, right!)

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        I don’t think Linda is good or bad. I think the actress playing Linda forgot to emote the last six months.

  13. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    I’m looking for an invitation to the Zoom chat. Hello? Anybody here?

    • ian'sdrunkenbeard

      Never mind. I finally checked the date and today is only Monday. I guess I am getting lonely.