In a Funk

Today’s strip was, of course, unavailable for preview.

But please, let us discuss poor Funky. When was the last time Funky had an arc that wasn’t pointless filler? There is hardly a character in EITHER Funkyverse strips that is stagnant as this poor lump.

If the arc is dealing with something bordering serious, Funky is the world’s most passive protagonist, reacting to events outside his control and doing what other people tell him to. Alternatively he serves as the distributor of jobs, food, and apartments to whoever wanders by needing them like some kind of slapshod Greek god rising from a rickety machine to fix ‘conflicts’ in a piss poor drama.

If Funky is going to show any initiative of his own, it is to chase down a pizza box monster.

22 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “In a Funk

  1. Rusty Shackleford

    The strip should be renamed Les and Lisa.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    The strip is being a real pain in the ass to access today for some reason, it’s on CK’s end, not ours.

  3. Funky remains one of the very, very few likeable characters, not really because of anything he embodies, but simply in contrast with all–and I mean ALL–of the rest of them.

    It’s clear who Batiuk’s favorites are, and they are all utterly loathsome. The difference is only in degree.

  4. So, today’s strip: yes, let’s reuse another character, no matter how inapt. Let’s also cast Cliff and Vera, and have Jessica be the Assistant Cinematographer. And Darrin can do the storyboards!

    • Epicus Doomus

      The director is perfect, what with his “who gives a shit?” attitude and all. The bigger question is why did this strip run now instead of a week ago? Is anyone anywhere putting any thought into this shit at all?

  5. billytheskink

    Mason knows only one director who could possibly bring Lisa’s Story to the big screen. Or rather, Mason knows only one director.

    Welcome back Mr. Johns. You are one of the least insufferable people in TB’s “Hollywood”.

  6. William Thompson

    Look at the way Messy Jarre holds his hands. Listen to the way these entities speak. Something tells me that Uncanny Valley Productions is going to flame out before it can crash and burn.

  7. William Thompson

    Should I ask why Masonry Jar is recruiting the director, and not the woman who runs Pink Productions? Of course not. Who’d trust a mere girl to make a decision that could destroy her company and reputation? You leave that sort of bungling to a he-man movie star!

  8. Doghouse Reilly (Philadelphia)

    “Like some kind of slapshod Greek god rising from a rickety machine to fix ‘conflicts’ in a piss poor drama.” So, are you proposing, then, that Mr. Winkerbean is the strip’s “Deus ex Mockery”?

    Regarding today’s strip…how typically Battyukian to spend three weeks on the riveting “Setting Up Ptich Meetings” arc and then never depict what must have been the resolution of said arc, Masonne and Less reaching agreement with Ms. Pink. And of course it would stand to reason that a serious “chick flick” drama about unplanned pregnancy, romance, and cancer would not only feature two stars from a sci-fi comic book film series but those pictures’ director, as well?

    I suppose that the Komix Korner, currently on the verge of bankruptcy due to a virus-related shutdown like many comics stores across the country, will be saved when Pink sends them a large check for the rental of Holtron, who will be brought back to play the hospital computer that mixes up Lisa’s test results.

    By the by, is today’s action coming from the jungle restaurant in Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life?”

    • William Thompson

      And what of Marianne Winters? Will she be cast as Dead Fucking Lisa Who Died And Is Still Dead? Will she have to compete against other actresses, risking her fragile ego as they plot and conspire to grab the coveted role? Will Les kill the project when some accountant says that her star power will make the movie profitable?

      • Hitorque

        Batuik forgot that he never had Masone actually ASK Marianne if she was interested before he started throwing her name around so her agreement will no doubt happen off-panel

    • Hitorque

      SHIT IT’S MR. CREOSOTE!

  9. Paul Jones

    And if the streak continues, we’ll never actually see the movie but have it described in such a manner that we are left wanting more…..but only getting Moore.

  10. Hitorque

    1. But you’re still the producer Masone, so the ultimate blame will still fall on your ass… You sure do know how to make a compelling pitch, asshole.

    2. Masone is worried about being typecast as a one-dimensional action star which will keep him from his coveted Oscar so let’s hire his co-star and director from said action movie and see if the audience/critics notice…

    3. Why is the director of the highest grossing global film of 2018 not working on 50 other projects right now? Why is he so desperate that he’s leaping at the first really lackluster opportunity to come his way?

    4. So those three weeks we wasted hearing top industry players bleat that the movie HAD to make bank in Communist China was just a red herring?

    • Doghouse Reilly (Philadelphia)

      Communist China a “red herring”? Thumbs up for the “Clue: The Movie” reference.

  11. Banana Jr. 6000

    “There’s just one other thing. I promised this schoolteacher from Ohio he’d be ‘involved’ in the production. He’d be here right now, but he had to jog with his friend “Funky” and teach his third period AP class. Lisa was his wife, you see, and he thinks he has to protect her from… well, you. Here are the photos we took in New York of the places where Lisa sat on a bench and found a quarter. You’ll need those, because he demands the story be told 100% “correctly”, which he’ll never define. He’s already torpedoed this movie once, somehow got paid to do so, and re-sold the rights to us. Remember, he’s a hero, so he also has to be… hey, where’d you go?”

  12. Chyron HR

    “Mason, I’m supposed to be filming Starbuck Jones vs. the Zeton Warriors right now–AND SO ARE YOU!”
    “Martin, let me tell you two magic words an evil goblin told me: Kill fee.”

  13. Mr. Director Man looks horrified in panel one–as well he should, since he was supposed to direct Lisa’s Story the first time around.

  14. Charles

    What amazes me is that here is undoubtedly the one storyline that Batiuk wants to tell more than any of the others ongoing, and he’s just indescribably lazy about it. He has the Starbuck Jones director come in and direct Lisa’s Story for no other reason than he doesn’t want to have to introduce a new character. Making this story less inbred, or even consistent with what he has Mason wanting from it is more work than Batiuk is willing to do.

    Speaking of laziness, Batiuk doesn’t even try to have Mason persuade Martin to direct the thing. Martin’s all “no, I don’t want to do it” and then Mason jokes that he needs someone to blame if this film bombs and suddenly Martin’s all “ok, I’ll do it”. Also, “I’ve come to rely on your judgment… (why the ellipsis?) and your artistic sensibility!”? What the hell is Mason talking about? When did Martin ever work for him? I know Batiuk doesn’t have any idea about how Hollywood productions work, but even still, he HAD a producer for Starbuck Jones (remarkably enough, another retread) and it wasn’t Mason. Never mind that what Mason’s saying suggests a history of collaborations between him and Martin, which has never been in evidence.

    • Let’s not even address the fact that Mr. Director Man wanted to include an Hispanic adopted son, solely for commercial reasons. And Mr Director Man acquiesced and surrendered when Les “kill fee’d” the whole thing. NO ONE with any experience of Les would agree to any of this.

      • Charles

        Actually, that was Mr. Producer Man, Clay Wallace, who also inexplicably produced Starbuck Jones, meaning that one of his productions poached the lead actor from another of his productions. Martin was the same sort of feckless boob until Batiuk decided he wanted him to be a good guy who would agree to open the movie at that dump theater in Ohio, at which point he got the same stick up his ass about Hollywood and its mercurial nature as every other “good” character.