Wow, look at that background in panel one! It’s going to be great when Pyramid Head shows up and starts butchering everyone. I’m going to take back everything bad I’ve said about this strip!
Ha ha, not really. Anyway, here’s another Funky Winkerbean “story” in which speculation far outstripped reality. Imagine, you folks talking about affairs and house-building! You should’ve seen yourselves! Don’t worry, I’m not making sport of you, as I fall into the same trap pretty much every time. Sigh.
A question for those of you more knowledgeable than myself. Adeela seems like a fairly devout Muslim–aren’t there strictures on the company that Muslim women can keep? Isn’t being with a man who is not in her family (and a married man at that) forbidden?
I know that women driving was restricted (until recently) in places like Saudi Arabia, so she’s clearly bucking that trend. So, why continue with the hijab, then? (I know the answer to that one–it’s so Batiuk can claim diversity by using the most superficial traits.)
Credit where it’s due: I like the drawing of Rachel in panel two. That is a genuinely good rendering of Rachel’s expression–someone who is clearly not happy, but is willing to listen.
Son of Stuck Funky 
So these two are married and living together? How long ago did they set up this “date” at Montoni’s? Seems like they haven’t spoken since then.
Wally was giving their mutual co-worker Adeela driving lessons all week yet somehow he never mentioned it to his wife. It’s almost as if the guy who writes this shit doesn’t spend a lot of time around, you know, people.
Lots of Muslim women in the US wear the hijab, but enjoy freedom to do things they couldn’t in Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia. I see no issue there.
Wally forgetting date night, OTOH…that’s an issue. (But isn’t it still early evening? The DMV isn’t open that late.)
Anyway, wow, what a stupid series of strips.
Correct. I have a friend at work from Jordan. She covers her head but is otherwise quite modern.
One day I was about to get on the elevator at work but saw she was in there by herself, so I stepped back out and said I would wait. She said it was ok and asked how I knew about Islamic rules. Anyways, she said that because the elevator could stop on any floor and there was camera installed in the elevator, the elevator could not be considered a private place and so there was no problem. After that, we became friends and she told me a lot about Jordan. It is definitely not like Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia.
But riding in a car together, that is pushing it.
So it is possible Adeela isn’t super religious.
PS: since I was interested in her culture, she brought a lunch for me from the local Halal market. Delicious! I’m a customer there now.
She certainly doesn’t seem to mind that Montoni’s serves dishes that are not Halal, and that it does not keep separate sinks/washers for dishes that have touched non-Halal food (or so I assume.) For that matter, she happily accepted an invitation to an American-style Thanksgiving.
Actually Muslims are permitted to work in places that serve non Halal food.
In that case, Adeela is probably fine. Thank you for educating me (and all of us.)
One of mom’s caregivers was Muslim. Hajara had no problem cooking bacon for mom’s breakfast or cleaning up afterward. Her only halal/haram problem was with hand sanitizers; she had concerns about alcohol. She felt better after we talked about different types of alcohols (ethanol is haram, even when applied to the skin–it can be absorbed that way. But other kinds of alcohol aren’t a problem, beyond usual concerns over toxicity.) She was also interested in the vegetarian meat-substitutes I use; they could make shopping easier for her.
No doubt Ardeela recognized early on that what’s being served at Montoni’s cannot be considered food, Halal or otherwise.
So why did a story about Adeela getting her driver’s license require any misdirection at all? And how would an afternoon trip to the BMV affect Date Night in the first place? What was gained by making Rachel out to be a jealous psychotic idiot? Is Cory going back to being a cynical wisecracking jerk or was this week just an aberration?
Check out that Batiukmobile. The Plotnix, voted North Macedonia’s second-best car for three non-consecutive years. Goes from zero to fifty…and that’s about it, unless you’re going uphill. Look at that turning radius and check out those speed lines, that thing has some pep.
What kind of Funkymobile only has room for two clowns? And shouldn’t it have a wind-up key on the back? Now where are the tables and chars that until now have always obstructed the summertime sidewalk in front of Montoni’s? Along with the reserved-for-veterans parking sign?
This could have been the entire Rachel plot. This week could have been 5 days of Adeela getting her driver’s license and end with this. It’s practically a cliched sitcom ending and yet it would have been better than what we got.
I think folks would be more surprised that you managed to get around suburban Ohio for several years without a driver’s license, Adeela.
Kudos to Wally for keeping that Chevy Sprint running. No small feat.
Good point. This isn’t New York, or even a Cincinatti. Does Westview even have a taxi service?
Does Westview have a second street in its business district?
Other than Komix Korner I’m not sure if there’s even another business in the Montoni’s District, much less a second street. There was Citizen Khan’s and I seem to recall a travel agency existing at one point, but otherwise it’s pizza and comic books and literally nothing else.
Wasn’t there a “Toxic Taco”?
The one thing we can be certain about is that next week we’ll be into a completely different, totally unrelated, and no less insipid storyline.
And it appears that whatever Eastern European country imported the old Yugo assembly line to manufacture the Plotnix for exclusive export to Westview produces it only in blue.
Robin’s egg blue, to be exact. It’s Westview’s most popular car color, along with dull white, flat gray and light black.
So if they went straight back to Montoni’s after the DMV and arrived without incident, what was that “One Hour Ago” about?!
The Plotnix has a 20cc one cylinder engine and a one speed transmission. Its maximum speed is 7 mph.
Duhhh! Man, I must have missed that episode of Top Gear.
With the new optional sails, acceleration on windy days isn’t a major problem anymore! It gets great mileage, although finding whale oil in Ohio isn’t quite as easy as it once was.
Optional harness for oxen can be installed by the manufacturer.
Aw heck, I can’t leave you hanging, beckoningchasm.
Dear Les,
New York City, you promised you’d take me there again someday, but you never did. Well, I’m alone there now, in our ‘playground,’ waiting for you… Waiting for you to come and- Well actually, it seems like we talk more now than we did when we were married. Isn’t that wild? Maybe the snarkers were right. Maybe we were a tad codependent…
I know I’ve done a terrible thing. I mean, I didn’t mean for it to be terrible. I thought I was helping you and Summer by making those tapes. But I wasn’t. I wish I could change that, but I can’t.
The Phantom of the Opera says that I can go home for a visit soon. To be honest, I’m not really feeling it. I’m not lonely here anymore anyway, since I’ve got Bull, Khan, Wally Jr., Coach Stropp, the Original Cayla, Maddie, Jinx, your entire family (your Mom says hi!), and Becky’s Dad here to keep me company. Even so, I’ve missed you terribly!
Oh, all the rest of them are in Hell. Especially Becky’s Mom.
But I’m afraid Les. I’m afraid that you don’t want me to be at peace. You want to keep my memory alive, without ever even trying to let me go. We had some wonderful years together, didn’t we?
Well, this letter has gone on too long, and everyone who doesn’t get this bit is probably getting bored, so I’ll say goodbye. I just want you to live for yoursel- Oh hell, I can’t even finish this sentence.
Les, you made me happy.
Gotta admit some days i am tempted to try making a webstrip based on the Act III character designs TB posted. Even just the unused characters. How hard could it be?
Very well done. It reminds me of a film from a few years back, “Ghost Town” with Ricky Gervais. A very interesting perspective.
Haha, I just took Mary’s Letter from Silent Hill 2, and added some Funky Flair.
For those of you who don’t know, Silent Hill 2 is a horror-themed videogame about a widower who gets a letter in the mail one day from his dead wife, begging him to come join her in their ‘special place,’ a resort hotel at the (obviously haunted) town they once honeymooned at.
… Did I mention that the wife died of cancer? And that the town is ultimately a metaphor for not being able to move past trauma and grief? Actually, there are a lot of eerie parallels to Les’ Story there. When I looked up the contents of Mary’s Letter, I was creeped out by how little I actually had to change.
…
Okay, I may be a hypocrite, but at least I’m not making references so old that they were hopelessly obscure when my mother was a baby. And I did make an attempt to actually explain it to people who didn’t understand, because blogging is a medium in which that is actually somewhat possible?
And now I’m hoping this either ends with Les driving his own Batiukmobile into a lake, or entering a secret room to find that Batiuk was a Shiba Inu at a giant control panel all along.
Check out the headlights on the black car. If cars had thought balloons, this one would be thinking “Why did a wreck like you have to park next to me?”
Say, whose black car is that parked in front of Montoni’s? I’m assuming it’s Rachel, Cory’s, or Rocky’s since in six full days of strips we haven’t seen a SINGLE FRACKIN’ CUSTOMER inside or outside of this beloved local eatery! No wonder they pulled the outdoor dining tables in early.
Also, exactly what time was this romance-packed dinner date supposed to begin? I was looking at the Ohio BMV website (it’s funnier than the FW official site), and nearly all offices close by 5 or 5:30. Even if Wally and Ardeela left there “one hour ago” at the last minute, they must have gotten back to Montoni’s by 6 or so, so how late could he possible be?
In the U.S. it’s all about choice so she can choose to wear the hijab as opposed to being forced to under the pain of death in her old country…
And did Wally really forget about a date night that HE scheduled?! You sure picked a winner, Rachel.
And what happened to the therapy dog? He never used to leave home without him?
He had to go, his planet needed him.
Are Wally and Rachel now part of the senior set? How does date night begin before the DMV closes, otherwise?
The senior set who can’t even put her backpack from community college down in her apartment upstairs.
If they hurry, they can still combine the early bird special with the employee discount.
Iiza no bigga deela. She drive a Bottom Road.
Goddamn phone spell check!
“Itza no bigga deela. She drive Nobottom Road.”
“How could you have forgotten??? Didn’t you see the reminders I left on Post-It notes placed in obscure locations in the next town over? I suppose you didn’t read the other ones either. I’m pregnant; you have a sister in Kansas; and I had to update our Netflix payment plan using your Social Security number.”
Probably its been mentioned already but this is a remarkably retro week: the whole contrivance revolves around Rachel and Wally not having even the simplest cell phone access.
Wally could even be rationalized! If the whole story had been told from Adeela’s point of view, like it should have been, Batiuk could mention how Wally, driving there, naturally turned off his cell phone because he is not going to drive with any distractions or impairments. He could even toss off a wry “don’t ask” if Batiuk thinks the audience would remember why. Then he could just have forgotten to turn it back on. It would even reasonably build Rachel’s anger because she’s messaging her husband and getting blanked!
That’s quite good, and it makes the story plausible. Well, somewhat plausible. The problem is that your scenario requires thought and planning ahead, clearly aspects which Batiuk abandoned long ago.
Is Adeela’s sister Grossie from Crock?
TomBat has never explained why Funky has aged (to now over 65) while Wally, Rachel, Adeela, Corey, Rocky
etc. Is Summer still in college after over a decade? Is Crankshaft now over 100 in this timeline? This is bizarre to age some characters and not others
Crankshaft’s claim to fame is striking out three Detroit Tigers in an exhibition game in 1940. That makes him at least 100 in 2020.
I’m still going with they gave Funky a medal because the mean joke is he looks 65. Either that or they had one left over and just gave it to him.
So, a whole week that could have been one strip. Batton Thomas is a short timer.
So Wally has forgotten the date night that he set up in the middle of the afternoon at the place they both work.
Right.
The talking murder chimp was a more plausible storyline. .
On the Funky Winkerbean blog, the suicide prevention pamphet is immediately followed immediately by a “bring chuckles to these perilous times” book promotion. And has slang no human being actually uses. It’s very on brand.
I have to wonder what comic book ad he used as the template for his copy.