by | October 4, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Salih! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!

Link To Today’s Strip

“Mommy? Why is Funky so sad? And why is he dressed like that?”. The ol’ mistaken identity gag, of course. They all look alike to those mean mustachioed ICE agents, amirite? Man alive, this thing is a f*cking trudge, yet another strip where all relevant information could have fit in one panel thus moving the story three times faster. Which would still be achingly slow, mind you, but three times faster is three times faster.

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29 responses to “Salih! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!”

  1. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet
    October 4, 2020 at 10:33 pm

    Since nobody called it out in the Sunday thread, it seems no one knew Adeela’s last name. I’m going to assume it was never established.

    • billytheskink
      October 4, 2020 at 10:44 pm

      That’s a very Tom Batiuk story-telling move, as is asking readers to care about a mistaken identity situation revealed in the very same strip as said last name.

      • Banana Jr. 6000
        October 5, 2020 at 6:58 am

        Also, Batiuk’s precious characters can never be in the wrong, ever. What if ICE does have the right person, and Adeela’s been lying about who she is all along? What if Adeela made the conscious choice to overstay her visa and risk deportation, because the alternative was worse? These could be powerful stories, but Batiuk won’t even allow such possibilities to linger.

        Nope. Everything that happens in this world is random cruel happenstance, and never anything more. And then Batiuk won’t even see that through. Because if this did happen in real life, it would take at least a year to clear up, as we see in the New York Times story linked above.

  2. William Thompson
    October 4, 2020 at 10:35 pm

    At times like this I recall the words of a Popeye cartoon, spoken by the people of an exotic land as they bowed to a knocked-down Bluto: “Salam, Salami, Baloney.”

  3. William Thompson
    October 4, 2020 at 10:39 pm

    So there’s a Westview resident named Adeela Salam? What a coincidence! Whodda thunk it?

  4. 42chris
    October 4, 2020 at 10:49 pm

    The word balloon “L”s are bad being wavy and all…so…she’s a lyin’ criminal- off to jail you go sister!

  5. J.J. O'Malley
    October 4, 2020 at 10:53 pm

    Well, it’s a darn shame all of Adeela’s identification papers, travel documents, college transcripts, and other information won’t be able to clear this up in a matter of an hour or two, isn’t it?

  6. Banana Jr. 6000
    October 4, 2020 at 11:04 pm

    Yes, it’s so easy to mix up “Salih” and “Salam”. Especially when they’re words in a language that largely omits short vowels. And transliteration to English is arbitrary at best. And Arab/Islamic names aren’t simply given name/surname but have many components.

  7. Aurora Snorealis
    October 4, 2020 at 11:18 pm

    Ferin’ names, amiright?

  8. Olive McSweeney, LLC
    October 4, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    This is truly awful. Her pizza career is ruined!

  9. Gerard Plourde
    October 5, 2020 at 12:24 am

    TomBa must have seen this headline while skimming the New York Times for the article about Bull in the summer of 2019.

    “ICE Is Dangerously Inaccurate” July 12, 2019

  10. SeaCountry
    October 5, 2020 at 12:35 am

    Wouldn’t that shiny new driver’s license and all the paperwork needed to get it have cleared this right up before Adeela ever made that delivery?

  11. William Thompson
    October 5, 2020 at 1:44 am

    We’ve seen her; it’s just that we’ve mistaken her because she looks and dresses exactly like Adeela Selah. Wow, did it really take Batiuk all these years to find her an Arabic name? (“Selah” translates as “virtuous,” a delightfully ironic name for somebody who delivers Montoni’s pizzas.)

  12. Count of Tower Grove
    October 5, 2020 at 9:11 am

    How’s that “I feel so free here” working out for ya’?
    BTW “Freedom is just another word for nothin’ left to lose.”
    Kris Kristofferson.

  13. Don
    October 5, 2020 at 9:30 am

    Amazing how the visual recognition software used to identify Adeela also can’t tell the difference between Adeela Salih and Adeela Salam

    • William Thompson
      October 5, 2020 at 11:34 am

      Poe-tay-toe, poh-tah-toh . . .

    • batgirl
      October 5, 2020 at 4:15 pm

      TB misses another plot point – much facial recognition software is good at IDing Caucasian males (probably the database and testing was mostly done on police / security personnel) and makes false positives on POC and women. Adeela, as a woman of colour, could be easily misidentified by the software – so why did TB make clear it was human error? Kinda spoils the Evil Technology slant he could have had, so it’s down to Evil Bureaucracy alone.

  14. Banana Jr. 6000
    October 5, 2020 at 9:33 am

    Another legit direction the story could take. ICE knows they have the wrong person, but doesn’t care.

  15. newagepalimpsest
    October 5, 2020 at 12:57 pm

    The last panel is supposed to be “Oh you’re in for it now, you horrible pizza delivery driver!”

    But for the life of me, all I can actually see is “Did you eat the last vanilla ice-milk pop in the freezer, young lady?” (Ice cream is too exciting for Westview.)

  16. Count of Tower Grove
    October 5, 2020 at 2:41 pm

    “Datburnit, I’m Loweezy Smif, you datgum revenooners!”

  17. Professor Fate
    October 5, 2020 at 2:41 pm

    Oh for Pete’s sake – can’t he even come with a new plot twist? What is this the 15th time something has been mixed up? I’m willing to bet the deportation order is in folder somewhere with Lisa’s x-rays.

    God what a hack.

  18. beckoningchasm
    October 5, 2020 at 3:21 pm

    This could be interesting without the “mistaken identity” junk. If she was legitimately targeted by ICE, we could get some drama about wanting to stay in the US despite her lack of credentials. But no, it’s just another story about stupid people being stupid…I guess that’s the only story Batiuk can tell now.