Supermarket Sweep

Link To Today’s Strip

Computers…can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em. The “facial recognition software” at the supermarket (!) targeted poor, poor Adeela, who apparently looks JUST LIKE the OTHER Adeela in Westview and yadda yadda yadda “we’re just doing our jobs as dispassionately as possible” and so forth. So it’s off to the Westview House Of Detention, which I imagine looks just like the Mayberry jail, only with comic books and pizza. Crappy comic books and cold pizza, natch.

33 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

33 responses to “Supermarket Sweep

  1. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    I don’t understand. I assumed the agent was referring to this strip. Is that not our Adeela in the security video?

  2. William Thompson

    “Apparently” used a false name. Oh aren’t they going to feel silly when they realize that this is her real name! And the remarkable thing is, Batiuk spelled it the same way today as he did yesterday. Is this a record for internal consistency here?

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      A false name that would already have a visitor’s visa, academic transcript, employment records, bank account, apartment lease, and… an ID card! Even if this was Adeela’s first driver’s license, she must have had a state-issued ID card, because you can’t do anything without one. “Apparently” they didn’t even run a records check on the name! God, this is stupid.

  3. Again, par for the strip’s course. Stupid people doing stupid things in a stupid way.

    I’m sure that Pulitzer is on its way, Batiuk.

  4. J.J. O'Malley

    I’m not sure which seems stranger to me: that Ohio driver’s licenses put the surname first, or that Ohio supermarkets sell what seem to be either pillowcases or beach towels.

    Also, while “voluntary deportation” is indeed a thing, the court proceedings linked to the process would, in any normal situation, be able to prove the Adeela they’re looking for is not our “heroine.”

    This whole thing is playing out like something from Kafka…in that reading the next couple of weeks will be a “Trial.”

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Actually they do put surname first but this must be a federal requirement as the RealID or compliant ID is something that the federal government created.

      Good point about the supermarket selling clothes. Why can’t comics be minimally consistent over the course of a couple of weeks? Over on Mary Worth Brandy spent days lamenting the fact that they were in an expensive , trendy restaurant and so she would order one of the features that was lower priced. But the next week they are eating burgers and onion rings in a diner booth.

    • LTPFTR

      To be fair to Batiuk (words I cannot believe I am typing!), immigration courts have gotten very Kafkaesque and ICE agents have pretty wide authority within 100 miles of an international border, and the Great Lakes are part of that. But no doubt he’ll manage to screw it up even worse than reality, no matter how bad reality is at this point.

    • Actually…a big Kroger opened up here a couple of years ago. At least half the store is full of things like jewelry, furniture, home decor…and clothing. So it’s far-fetched but not impossible.

      Of course, I doubt Westview has a store like that. He could have said “Sprawlmart” but why start worrying about continuity now?

  5. Hitorque

    Who the fuckin’ hell can still get a real driver’s license under a fake name, especially with all the enhanced security? When I got my Real ID in Virginia I needed my passport, my birth certificate, my W-2, and a couple of bills to prove my address…

    Besides, doesn’t she have refugee status? And wouldn’t all that be in an INS database somewhere? And even if it wasn’t, wouldn’t she have paperwork explaining that?

    God, can we just fast-forward to the end already when someone sets up a quickie sham marriage for Adeela to make her official??

    • J.J. O'Malley

      That’s nothing, Hitorque. I read recently about this old guy in Ohio who tried to get an enhanced driver’s license and had to give the BMV his current license, proof of residence, a birth certificate, a note from his first-grade teacher, a recent electrocardiogram, a urine sample, a letter from his congressman, eye of newt, toe of frog…and he still didn’t get it!

    • William Thompson

      When I got my NC license in 2008, it took two tries. The first time, I hadn’t brought along enough ID and adequate proof of insurance The second time, I had enough to prove who I was. Which was fortunate, because when they ran a biometric search on my face, I found out that I had an older half-brother (thanks, dad!) who also has a felony record (yeah, dad’s side of the family, all right). I convinced the DMV officer that we were two different people, although I spent a lot of time thinking about Gordon Dickson’s “Computers Don’t Argue.”

      So, it happens. And it isn’t funny. I think we can rely on Batiuk to get the “not funny” part down cold.

  6. Gerard Plourde

    While there are definite problems inherent in the current immigration enforcement system, this scenario is ridiculous. If ICE were performing a raid, it wouldn’t go through this elaborate charade. Also, no officer accusing someone of using a false identity would use the word “apparently”. They would state it as a fact (even if it later turned out that the assertion was wrong).

    I guess that the upshot is that every autumn until TomBa retires we can expect one of these “Very Special” arcs.

  7. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    And Tommy Buttick continues his tantrum against the agencies who protect us against our enemies. Oh, you didn’t know that? Believe it or not, there are still people in the world who haven’t given up on doing us great harm.

    But in Batty’s pointy little bald aging ex-hippie head, these agencies are Nazi storm troopers, randomly rounding up innocent people just for laughs.

    “Yeah, that’s your license. Let’s add identity theft to the charges.”

    Gimmeafugginbreak.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Don’t worry, you won’t hear anything more about this in the media after Jan 20, 2021 which is my birthday. What day did you think it was?

      As for this strip, you won’t hear any more about this after Jan 20, 2022. Oh you might see Adeela playing the jukebox in the background but everyone will be wearing masks so it will be hard to tell.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      “Hey, Tombat! Just out of curiosity, what do you think of the 9/11 terrorists on the hijacked planes?”

      “Okay, so some people did something. Fact is Islam is the religion of peace. We are totally to blame for what happened. All Muslims have ever wanted is to hear them out. But Americans were too arrogant and proud. We could have prevented all of this so easily!”

      “Great, Tom. What about Adillyo?”

      “The only female who ever gave me a stiffy. Maybe if Americans wore SheJabs, we could be more like the great Muslim nations of the world.”

      “Thank you, Tom. By the way, why are you naked?”

      “My big bear Ayrhead will be coming to ravage me in thirty seconds!”

  8. Maxine of Arc

    Meanwhile, at the National Zoo, baby panda (which is a male!) looks great. I suggest tuning into the panda cams instead of trying to make sense of the strip this week.

  9. Count of Tower Grove

    Hey, what’s going on at date night?

  10. Meanwhile, Funky arrives home from the “Big Band Songs About Pizza and Dyin'” convention, only to find that nobody’s done a lick of work since he’s left.

  11. Perfect Tommy

    Agent Lisa secretly covets Dillybars handbag. “Where did she get this supple leather? I must know!”

  12. DreadedCandiru2

    And I missed nothing at all between when my computer died and I got a new one,

  13. Mr. A

    Still trying to parse this situation. I understand that ICE’s software matched Adeela’s driver’s license to this supermarket security camera footage that ICE already had. I’ll assume that this footage genuinely shows the *other* Adeela, because otherwise there would be some third source that both the driver’s license and the security footage were matching against.

    What I don’t understand is, why does ICE have this supermarket footage in the first place? Do all supermarkets just routinely forward all their footage to ICE? Did ICE file a warrant to get the footage, because they suspected other-Adeela was shopping at that store? If the latter, how did they figure out where other-Adeela shopped before figuring out where she lived?

    Or option three: some employee at the supermarket thought, “Hmm, that woman is wearing a hijab, she’s probably in the country illegally. Better let ICE know about this.”