Perfect Atten-Dunce

Link To The Sunday One

There’s actually a very good reason why our SoSF guest hosts usually take two week shifts. It’s because by the end of the second week you’re just so disgusted and appalled by it all you need to step away and gather your senses. Our fearless leader, prophet and god-king TFH once hosted SoSF solo for a long, long time but if you’ve noticed even he doesn’t do that anymore and again, there’s a very good reason why. It’s called “sanity”, people.

This marks the end of my three week stint and let me tell you, it feels more like a century. Not that I didn’t enjoy it or anything, but man, what a garbage dump THAT was. Hopefully next time around I’ll get something “good”, like an amputation or a brain injury or a same-sex couple ordering a breakfast pizza or something, but probably not. It’ll be more like “Dinkle cracks wise about band directing” or “Wally buys new snow tires” or something hilarious like that.

Anyhow, I’m done and thanks for the memories. Official SoSF Funkstorian billytheskink is up next for your snarking pleasure and not a moment too soon!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “Perfect Atten-Dunce

  1. William Thompson

    After all these years shouldn’t Kablichnikov know all his students by sight? Does he drone on with the daily roll call because it kills a few minutes of class time? Are the students glad to have those few minutes in which he doesn’t inflict contrived sciencey jokes on them? When Batiuk was a teacher, did he ever have a day when more than a few students cut class?

  2. billytheskink

    So, is Kablichnick’s “I could here you” an intentional misspelling to highlight all of the times “here” is said in the previous panels or are TB and King Features no longer even pretending that someone reads this before it goes to print?

    Also, yet another opportunity passed for TB to give a name to the character we’ve dubbed Thatsnought Hewmore…

    • Charles

      I call him Lumpy Black Guy, because his face is curiously lumpy.

      We should, however, note that Batiuk gave a name to Severely Receding Hairline Kid! Guess he was more deserving.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Wow, I totally missed that. Play on words or sloppy mistake? Is there even a difference anymore?

  3. coco

    Not to mention the fact that while sneering at the younger generation Batty used the wrong form: here instead of hear.

  4. J.J. O'Malley

    To borrow from today’s sponsor: “Altoids Joke: Curiously Unfunny.”

    Curiously unoriginal, too. Didn’t “Seinfeld” do something like this when Elaine tried to cure a “sidling” Peterman co-worker by giving him a noisy box of Tic-Tacs to keep in his pocket?

    Also, isn’t “The Human Maraca” a Latina superheroine from Atomix Comics? I could swear she teamed up with Rip Tide, Scuba Cop to bring down the Purple Piranha Gang in RTSC issue number six’s “Brazilian Blow-Up.”

  5. Gerard Plourde

    I see that TomBa’s on a roll with the cutting humor.Westview is just chock full of nasty people who berate and bully others. No wonder our contributors need a break after two weeks.

  6. Hitorque

    “By what sorcerery did you deduce my physical presence?!” Asked the kid sitting in the middle of the front freaking row…

    God, that kid is pretty fuckin’ dumb for a nerd…And how does this joke even work? I’ve freaking taught second graders with more sense. Maybe if Bernard had come to class wearing a ghillie suit or something it becomes maybe 5% funny?

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Ah that was just Batty slipping in another insult directed at today’s youth. Ha ha, see they cannot even be proper nerds!

      Just kidding. We all know he isn’t that clever.

  7. Aurora Snorealis

    Is someone pulling this shit out of a Dumpster(TM)??

  8. Mr. A

    In case you thought it was impossible for Kablichnick to care any less about his students, today we learn that he doesn’t even look in their direction unless they ask him a direct question. And even then, he can’t be bothered to raise his eyelids above half-mast.

  9. Banana Jr. 6000

    “How did you know I was here?” The teacher is four feet away from you, Bernie! You’re in the middle of the front row! I’m starting to see Kablichnik’s point about his students being stupid.

    And don’t say “Bernie the human maraca” too loudly, or Mopey Pete will hear it and it’ll be next Sunday’s sideways comic book cover.

  10. Gerard Plourde

    The sustained absence of Les has me wondering if we’re in for an extended “Lisa’s Story: The Movie” arc.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      We’re also nearly 11 months out from the beginnings of COVID, so we probably have that shitshow to look forward to. And, we’re only a couple weeks away from the end of January, and you know what that means; a trip to the Ohio Music Educators Association Convention!

  11. Perfect Tommy

    I guess Tommyboy’s editor was too busy tweeting about how sincere he is to notice the obvious grammatical mistake.

  12. matt2amy

    Tom: No! “Here” you was, uh, intentionally put there as, uh, a pun! “Here” you! Get it?

  13. Westview Radiology

    That kid in the first panel / banner panel is curiously staring at Kablatchniks rump.