It’s Alright Church Lady, He’s Only Bleeding

Link To It

So biting himself until he draws blood is apparently how Dinkle reacts to new opportunities, which is a brand new character trait as far as I know. “Oh, yeah, Dinkle. He’s the guy who bites himself, right?”…nope, doesn’t ring a bell. I mean yeah, he bites all right, he bites big f*cking time, but until recently it was only metaphorically.

So obviously Dinkle will be “directing” the church choir, apparently WHILE he’s playing the organ, because Dinkle = music. Get ready for lots of hilarious scenarios, like making the church ladies sing in torrential downpours and forcing them to attend choir competitions chauffeured by the cranky old bus driver whose name escapes me at the moment. I think it’s “Dick Yank” or something along those lines.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “It’s Alright Church Lady, He’s Only Bleeding

  1. Mr. A

    Let me get this straight. These women advertised for an organist. Dinkle responded to the advertisement. Dinkle came in for an audition. They gave Dinkle the job. Dinkle went home. A day or more passed. Dinkle came back to the church. And now, only now, do they mention, “Oh, by the way, we need you to be our choir director too.” I cannot accept that human beings would behave like this.

    And since when is the organist at this church also the choir director? There was no mention of this when Lillian agreed to become the organist. I don’t know much about choirs, but I had assumed that the woman speaking to Lillian in the March 15th strip was the choir director, since she was standing apart from the rest of the choir and facing them.

  2. billytheskink

    So Lillian was the choir director too? She’s leaving that role as well? The lady who died at the organ was also the choir director? Has TB ever experienced a church choir performing with an organ and understood how difficult it would be to play the organ and direct a choir?

    Why did TB care so much about the whole “there hasn’t been a man in the choir” plot hole again? He’s plugged one hole in his bucket only to shoot two more in it.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Yes, suddenly it’s all about “directing” the choir, just completely out of nowhere. The whole organ thing, which was mentioned at least two hundred times, seems to have been unceremoniously dropped. It was the ENTIRE STORY as recently as a few days ago, but now no one cares about the organ anymore. Did he even attempt to play it yet? How do they know he even CAN play it?

      Is Dinkle even qualified to direct a choir? Does music direction span all genres? Planning and directing marching band routines and directing a church choir seem vastly different to me, but I’m admittedly not much of an expert on either, so who knows. I mean sure, they both involve “music”, but then again so what? It’s all so baffling.

      • J.J. O'Malley

        I cannot speak to how churches operate nowadays, but when I was a boy soprano the choirmaster and organist were two different people in at least two of the places I attended. As far as high schools go, I definitely recall a similar situation between Mrs. Metz, Mr. Hellenic, and a third person whose name escapes me. Hence the term “music department,” which Westview High seems to lack. Have we ever seen a Westview choir scene, with or without Harry?

        Frankly, I’m in favor of any new character trait where one of the Funkyverse inhabitants causes physical pain to themselves.

        • ComicBookHarriet

          In my experience with tiny churches, the choir director and organ player/piano player were the same person. But only because in all three cases they were the only person who could come close to adequately serving both functions.

          • Maxine of Arc

            Same, Harriet. With a truly awkward system of mirrors so that in theory we could see them when they were seated at the organ facing away from us.

            As for my high school music program, we DID have separate choir and band directors (regular choir and band, which met during school hours, and then madrigal choir, marching band, and jazz band, which met after school, and heaven help me I was in all of em until I correctly decided that the flute was not going to be my thing, what with it requiring practice and all. No orchestra). Then the budget cuts came. We were lucky to get out with one music director handling all of the programs and also what theater we had, none of it especially well, but damn he tried hard.

  3. Banana Jr. 6000

    So the point of the last 16 days was to give Dinkle a job he already has.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Don’t forget all the photoshopping, the blog posts, traveling to the real St Spires, etc.

      All that for this. Neat.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        And, getting a story idea from real life. Batiuk said on his blog that “a retired band director told me that he had a new gig playing organ for a church choir.” And this is what he turns it into: Dinkle being an obsessive music director yet again. Because we’ve never seen that shtick before. I wonder if this “retired band director” is happy to see what Batiuk has done with his idea. If he even exists.

  4. What happened to the lady who told Lillian she was giving out clinkers? Did she just die or something?

  5. Mela

    Our recently retired (by choice, not by face plant into a minor key) church organist also served as our choir director for years. It was automatically part of the job. But she had excellent accompanists that played piano while she directed the choir during rehearsals and during the service. And on the rare occasion where the choir led a hymn while she played the organ, you just kinda had to watch her head nod to start the verse, listen to your choir mates and know your part.

    The strip does seem out of order, doesn’t it? The entire conversation today should have happened before Harry went home to announce he got the job and celebrated in whatever way I’d rather not ponder.

    And maybe Dinkle is simply biting his lip to keep from lying through his teeth.

  6. Gerard Plourde

    Compared to this, the final months of Apartment 3G look like they were scripted by Shakespeare.

    Honestly, does TomBa put anything beyond minimal effort into this strip anymore?

    • ComicBookHarriet

      To be fair to Funky Winkerbean, we haven’t magically teleported outside mid conversation only to teleport back inside by the last panel.


    • Banana Jr. 6000

      He actually puts NEGATIVE effort into the strip. Because somebody gave Batiuk the idea of a retired band director becoming a church organist, and he is actively making it worse. He’s now produced 16 days of comic strips in which Dinkle never plays the organ once, or even addresses the question if he can. He gets the job anyway, and is immediately shifted to the only thing Batiuk can imagine him doing: being an asshole band director. Even the minor tangent of Dinkle playing a musical instrument is too overwhelming for this bankrupt imagination to process.

  7. Perfect Tommy

    Is…..Is Dinkle into self flagellation?

    • ComicBookHarriet

      If he’s Catholic, that’s taking it real old school with his devotions.

      If he’s not Catholic, well…I guess I won’t kinkshame.

  8. hitorque

    So nobody fucking bothered to mention this to The Big Dink before he took the job?

    Christ… By Friday they’ll be telling him the organist/choir director also delivers the sermons, too…

  9. Westview Radiology

    So does the creator of the strip believe that we as readers or anyone out there Actually finds this monster lovable, endearing, funny, curmudgeonly. etc. Dinkledick is a maniac who when his ego feels threatened actually goes into such a rage that he bites his lip or tongue or whatever with enough force to actually draw blood. Disgusting

  10. AmigoLupus

    This comment’s a day late, but I interpret Dinkle biting his lip so hard that it bled as him being outraged that these UNCULTURED SWINES haven’t heard of the glory and majesty of Harry Dinkle, Band Director Extraordinaire.