In today’s strip, a little man asks someone what time a panel is, and gets the answer “later”, which is not helpful at all. Also, the little man is somehow smoking through a mask, despite there clearly being no hole or any way for him to do so.
I’m very amused by Flash suddenly recognizing the little man’s cigar smoke. Unless this was what Flash was smelling as his parents were gunned down in an alley after taking him to see a movie, I’m kind of shocked that he would recognize that smell and find it remarkable enough to comment on. “I know we’re at the biggest comic convention in the world where I’m about to receive the biggest honor of my life, but what about that smell, huh?”
Ooh, That Smell
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Son of Stuck Funky 
Did Flash read Sherlock Holmes’ monograph, “Upon the Distinction Between the Ashes of the Various Tobaccos”?
Ha! You beat me to it.
By the way, are my eyes getting worse or does Darth Dork have his cigar sticking out through the SIDE of the mask rather than through the vent in the front that covers his mouth?
Love the reference!
Speaking of the works of Sherlock Holmes:
Dinkle swears by Holmes’s later monograph on the Polyphonic Motets of Lassus.
Les Moore lost any right to the title of Lord of Language when he went blank at the mention of “Chaldean Roots in the Ancient Cornish Language,” one of Holmes’s greatest works.
Whether Holmes ever wrote the monograph on malingering he contemplated in “The Adventure of the Dying Detective” is unknown, but the Atomik Komix crew would have found it fascinating and indispensable if he had.
Didn’t the Batom Comics editor smoke cigars? Is this his grandson, the editor himself, or his mother? With Batiuk it’s anyone’s guess, including his.
Whoever it is, it’s a lame crutch for bringing a dead character back into the strip. It’s either a descendant or a fan of Phil Holt that magically possesses all of his traits, grudges, and memories. Even smokes the same cigars, apparently.
I’ve decided I won’t comment if my comment involves excrement.
How meta-coprophobic of you.
Once again BatHam’s insistence on using the full six days to advance every single plot point results in crap like this, where he blatantly kills time for no reason under the (flimsy) guise of “creating mystery and or tension”. We already know that Darth Vader (sigh) is going to somehow disrupt the CCCBHOF induction ceremony but, as usual, we have to wait and wait and wait because the entire Funkyverse might collapse upon itself if something actually “happened” between Tuesday and Friday.
He seriously believes he’s building tension or anticipation here. It’s amazing.
There are only two options for who the mystery man who’s going to confront Flash is. It’s either Phil Holt or it’s someone else. If it’s Phil Holt, the only thing remarkable about it is that Batiuk fucked this all up because Phil’s dead. If it isn’t, it’s not someone we know so who gives a shit.
The only tension in this storyline is being driven solely by how much of a fuckup Batiuk is as a writer.
Nobody’s facial expression makes any sense. I see Unkar Plutt from “Ye Old Comics Shoppe” on Sunday’s strip is here again, and he appears to be explaining something to a special needs child. Flash and Darren are happy in panel 1, but in panel 2 Darren is smirking concernedly at Flash’s forced but meaningless observation. Chester is making a “see, I told you so” smirk at Ruby Lith, who is in geosynchronous orbit around Planet Valium. And this is the closest Pete has ever been seen to his alleged fiancee. Or they’re cosplaying as Fry and Amy from that one Futurama episode where his head gets cuts off and attached to her shoulder.
In panel 1, everyone is either smiling or smirking, except for Dwarf Vader and that mid-transportation guy above Dwarf’s cigar smoke. In panel 2, Floppyhead and Dillhole look vaguely disturbed by the smell of a very specific cigar (?), while the rest continue grinning and smirking mindlessly. Chester offers a shit-eating grin, for some reason, while Pete looks like a really bad Jib-Jab insert.
Vader’s smirking too, in anticipation of his glorious comix related coup which is coming any day now, really.
*begin Star Wars deep cut reference*
It’s Niles Ferrier!
*end Star Wars deep cut reference*
Now that I’ve indulged myself with that silliness… Did Flash sell his mouth for a Nike advertisement in panel 1?
I’ve been wanting to read the original Thrawn trilogy for the third time recently, and after searching who Niles Ferrier was, I guess I’m going to have to go ahead and do that soon. 😛
1. So he wore Vader’s helmet and that was it? What was the fucking point of this?
2. That must be the most expensive or distinctive cigar known to man for Flash to instantly recognize it (assuming of course Flash doesn’t smoke the same brand)…
3. I thought gatherings like this were officially smoke-free in the modern era?
4. As an aside, who the hell still smokes cigars outside of the Caribbean anyway? Yeah they had a big trendy comeback in the late 90s and early 00s, but that era is long gone…
5. So nobody is going to mention we’ve discovered the existence of Funkenstein’s long-lost half-brother? I wanna see a reunion!
The Vader helmet is there because Tom Batiuk is a very poor writer.
There is no in-story reason for this character to keep his identity hidden. Certainly not in the comic book store (where else) where there’s no one he would need to hide it from. But Batiuk thinks he’s adding tension when he’s telegraphing where the story is going. And he can’t come up with a good way to do it anyway. Home Improvement got very creative to keep Wilson’s face hidden for nine seasons; Batiuk has to make a character wear a Wal-Mart halloween costume at all times to get through a handful of drawings. And gives the character the completely incompatible trait of cigar smoking. Keep in mind, we’re supposed to be taking this story seriously.
And Tom Batiuk adds appeal to his comic strip the way he always does: by stealing someone else’s intellectual property. Really, Tom, this guy couldn’t be wearing an Isaac the Robot mask, when that character is so important in your universe that he got a weeklong arc with the title character, and a standalone Sunday comic book cover?
Has to be a Muriel cigar! Shout out to the wonderful Miss Edie Gorme, who is a zillion times more interesting than this stinking pile. “Hey Big Spender, spend a little dime with me” for the win!
Did I really write Edie Gorme??? Forgive me, I meant Edie Adams, Gosh, just go ahead and ban me for dumbness!
I apologize.
TWO tablespoons of vanilla.
Edie Adams! Eydie Gormye was the lovely and talented singer who was married to Steve Lawrence. Edie Adams was the lovely and talented singer who was married to Ernie Kovacs (and who used the earnings from her cigar commercials to help pay back the massive debts left behind after his untimely death…)
Thanks to picking up crossword puzzles as a new hobby during lockdown, I am now very familiar with Eydie Gorme. Edie Adams was new to me though!
6. Remember when this story used to be about Ruby? Has she said five words since they landed?
6a. And fuck Batiuk for showing us Ruby in her trademark black wool cap, sweater and itchy heavy duty scarf in Socal summer daylight… That shit just irks the hell out of me.
7. I don’t give a rat’s ass… I’m going to keep on mentioning the wildfire until a character finally brings it up…. I mean FFS Batiuk made the destruction of Greater Los Angeles a centerpiece of last summer’s storylines yet one year later nothing happened??
Batiuk loves giving his characters exactly one outfit to wear (Crankshaft, John, Ruby). Which results in Ed Crankshaft wearing the same red jacket and ballcap that he wears to work, around the house, hanging out with his friends at a diner, and bowling to funerals.
I can believe that Crankshaft refuses to adapt his outfit to the situation, because he’s exactly that kind of guy.
Well, Proust’s “Remembrance of Things Past” started with the olfactory memory of a madeleine confection, so I’d say a “two-for-a-quarter” La Stinkadora cigar is fitting for this strip.
FYI: The San Diego Convention Center is a non-smoking facility. “There are designated areas outside the building where smoking and vaping are permitted,” according to the SDCC regulations, but I’m pretty sure an admission line isn’t one of them.
Oh, #&$*…it’s Zanzibar, Butter Brinkel’s pet monkey who talks and also murders people.
That is not a bad thing, as long as he’s heavily-armed and can reload as needed.
Holy smokes! I have no idea where this “story” is headed!
What a great imitation of Batiuk talking to Ayers during the creation of these strips.
“Soda bottles, and brand new cards.
Cosplayer in my way.
There’s too much fat and too much B.O.
Look what’s going on around you”
“Ooooh that smell,
Can’t you smell that smell?
Ooooh that smell,
The smell of nerds around you”
I stand in line @CBH! That is next level. Wish I could upvote it more than once.
I guess it’s time to smoke ’em if you got ’em. Ruby Spliff appears to have smoked a joint or two. She looks all kinds of mellow.
Who’s the guy the vest? Siths always operate in pairs, don’t they? Is he supposed to be Darth Helmet’s apprentice?
I think it’s the heavy-lidded eyes, but this guy strikes me as having limited intelligence. The answer he gave in panel#1 kind of confirms it.
Big and Slow: Duh, gee boss. There’s Flash. Can I punch him? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Darth Helmet: Shaddup and button yer lip.
Siths only operated in pairs following the Battle of Ruusan and the fall of the Dark Brotherhood. That’s when Darth Bane instituted the Rule of Two. And even then, the Sith would train dark side users as catspaws and underlings, they just didn’t have the official recognition of ‘Sith’.
Of course that’s all before the dark times, before the Disney.
Have you ever heard the tragedy of Kath Kennedy the Not-So-Wise? A dark executive of Disney so shortsighted, and so careless, that she couldn’t use billions of dollars to influence her writing teams to create even six years of a consistent canon across multiple forms of media…
(Just thought I’d get really nerdy, since this is a ComicCon arc.)
Just goes to show I shouldn’t comment when I’m tired. I should have gone with my original thought. Those two reminded me of Rocky and Mugsy from the Looney Tunes cartoons. I knew that was a lousy comment after I posted it. Where’s the delete button?
Rocky, the leader, and brains of the two is the short one with black hair, a hat that covers his eyes, and is constantly seen smoking a cigarette, and Mugsy, Rocky’s henchman, is a big stupid oaf.
Darth Dwarf is the short one with a Darth Vader helmet that completely covers his head and is constantly seen smoking a cigar, and Comic-Con Funky appears to be a big stupid oaf.
Sadly, I’m out of my depth discussing Star Wars. I haven’t read any books, haven’t seen much of the animated series, and haven’t even seen the last movie. I guess we all could have predicted bad things for Star Wars when Kathleen Kennedy and Disney got their hands on it. They both have that “anything for a buck” attitude.
I thought you were referencing Rocky and Mugsy. The image is irresistible
.
LOL. To clarify, I was being facetious ‘calling you out’ for your Sith joke. It’s a perfectly legitimate nerd joke to make in light of the Comic-Con setting. I’m just an uber nerd who can’t resist complaining about Star Wars at any given opportunity.
But yeah, these two dumbbells are much closer to Warner Brothers cartoons characters than evil space wizards.
No problem. I didn’t take your reply as nitpicking. My Sith operating in pairs declaration was left as a question. I always appreciate a reply.
In the list of Star Wars media I haven’t seen or read, I left out comic books. Sorry about that, ComicBookHarriet. 😉
A better analogy I could have used is Nathan and Mimsy from South Park. A series of unfortunate events
happening to Darth Dwarf due to Comic-Con Funky’s incompetence would actually be funny.
“That fart smell really seems familiar … “
extended continuity! The cigar guy is obviously the cigar-smoking EET character from the old Dinkle comic in the twitter sidebar.
Yesterday Darin said that Comic-Con guests had to get their badges online last year. But Darth Cigar didn’t decide to come until July 3rd. How’d he get his hands on a badge? Did he pay a small fortune to a scalper? Or was there a silent time-skip in there somewhere?
I think last Saturday’s strip was supposed to address this question. An unseen character tells another unseen character to “use their exhibitor badge.to get into Comic-Con.”
Oh, right. Completely forgot about that.
It was all very confusing. If the main villain’s face is going to be concealed at all times by a Darth Vader mask, then why was he drawn off-panel the first three times? The mask would conceal who he is. Why was the vest-wearing slug man drawn off-panel Saturday? Why is anyone hiding who they are? It’s a goddam comic book convention, not a Cold War spy thriller.
Why is he at the convention at all, having no apparent stakes in this already zero-stakes story?
Batiuk loves shoving pointless details into stories. He thinks he’s being subtle, but he’s really just being confusing because there’s no way to tell what matters to the story and what doesn’t. And because he’s just making this shit up as he goes along, and he never goes back and fixes anything. Unless it’s a man in the St. Spires church choir, because that would cause galactic continuity problems.
Ah… the only cigar smoking character that I can remember was the editor of the comics in Pete and Boy Lisa’s day dreams about doing comic books in the good old days was like. But he’d be something like 120 now and he wasn’t that short.
I get the sense that the reveal is going to (aside from drawing groans from the readers) be like the end of The Homecoming Queens’ got a gun where the narrator asks the dying Homecoming Queen why she’d shot up the prom and she says ‘ I did it for Johnny” and the response is “who’s Johnny?”.
In the same way I suspect that who? is going to be the response when Dwarf Vader removes his helmet only this time it’s not for comic effect it just that the author doesn’t have clue what a story is.
Based on the floating face in the masthead, I am anxiously awaiting how BatHack plans on working Rush Limbaugh into this arc.
God damn, based on panel 2, try to imagine what Flash’s skull looks like.
Finding a guy who looked just like Mac Tonight would be less unsettling.