Pea-Brained

So, do you think it’s just Melinda that forgets what Funky does for a living, or Batiuk himself? I know Funky currently owns and manages Montoni’s, but I guarantee he’s done more than his share of cooking, and I don’t get at all why Melinda is so shocked she’s literally covering her mouth. But I guess it’s worth scrapping years of character development for the bad sitcom level hilariousness of “men don’t know how to cook”.

29 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

29 responses to “Pea-Brained

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Yeah, it’s like he completely forgot that Funky OWNS AND OPERATES A RESTAURANT, a restaurant where entire huge swaths of the strip have been set over the decades. I mean, what can you even say at this point?

    • On the other hand, he is the guy who took Montoni’s from being a regional-plus-New-York-City pizza chain into being a lone survivor shop thanks to poor food quality so …

      (Yes, yes, I know, he’s also the person who took it from single-shop to regional-plus-New-York-City chain in under a decade.)

  2. Banana Jr. 6000

    And now Melinda’s back in the story, because of course she is.

    • batgirl

      Yeah, how is it that Melinda isn’t constantly in Holly’s face while she’s chairbound?
      I’ll give TB some credit, though. I honestly thought he was going to forget about Holly’s injury altogether after the ambulance ride.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Remember when the story was about Holly trying to recapture some of her old high school glory? I hope there’s a Sunday strip showing Holly wordlessly dumping her old baton twirling photos and gear in the trash with a strangely disinterested look on her face. Tom Batiuk, the stealer of dreams.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        how is it that Melinda isn’t constantly in Holly’s face

        Even it’s worse than that. Since Holly came home from the hospital, she and Melinda haven’t exchanged one word of dialog! After two or three weeks of them talking, establishing a clear relationship and a conflict, they haven’t even been in the same scene. All so we could watch Funky go to the pharmacy to get Holly’s prescriptions, twice, and then not resolve that either. Does Tom Batiuk even know what a resolution is, and why your story should have one?

  3. RudimentaryLathe?

    For once I’m on Melinda’s side. Horrified disgust is indeed the correct reaction to any mention of Les. (And yeah, using restaranteur Funky for a “Lol MeN iN tHA KitcHeN aMIrItE” punchline is idiotic.)

  4. batgirl

    I’d love to think that Funky is just trolling Melinda here.
    Sigh…

    • RudimentaryLathe?

      Funky trolling his awful MIL with some over-the-top bad recipes (like “Joys of Jell-O” level) before presenting a good dinner could have some comedic potential. So of course that’s not going to happen.

      • Epicus Doomus

        The hot dog & peas gag was rooted in Les’ wife tragically dying and leaving him a woefully unprepared and hilarious widower. His pal Funky, however, bought Montoni’s and spent the next several decades providing the entire town with food. So the gag sort of loses its impact a little when Funky uses it because, you know, it makes no sense.

        Now maybe if he had Les drop by to see how his best friend’s wife was doing, and he offered them his hot dog & peas casserole, it might have been mildly amusing in a “look at what a clueless pud Les is” kind of way. But it also would have meant Les would have had to exhibit actual concern for another human being who isn’t Lisa, so there’s no chance of that happening. Too unrealistic.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I think you’re right, because of Funky’s smug third-panel expression. But this situation doesn’t call for passive-aggressive trolling. Melinda bullied Holly into arranging a pointless, self-serving performance; abused her while she practiced for it; practically celebrated when got hurt again; disappeared once the ambulance ride was over; hasn’t expressed an ounce of concern for Holly’s well-being; stuck the Winkerbeans with a huge medical bill; and continues to live in their house. Today’s strip should have been more like this:

    • Mr. A

      I’m honestly unsure which reading Batiuk intended here. It’s certainly much funnier to think that Melinda is so invested in outdated gender stereotypes that she seriously believes a male restaurant owner cannot cook, and that Funky is trolling her over this. But if Funky is lying about getting a recipe from Les, why does he have a phone in his hand? Or maybe he had a phone in his hand for some other reason, and worked that into the lie? But that would take some very quick thinking…

  5. William Thompson

    In a rare moment of realistic thought, Melinda realizes that Funky has gone bananas and is going to poison everyone.

    • billytheskink

      Melinda probably remembers that time back in ’06 where he and Tony served up an uncooked “gazpacho” pizza while representing Ohio in a national pizza contest.

  6. J.J. O'Malley

    “YOU”RE going to cook? Thanks, but I’ve tasted that Velveeta-and-ketchup-on-cardboard concoction you try to pass off as pizza! Call me a cab and I’ll go to the Dale Evans in Centerville! Just let me get my penny sock!”

    Also, is the background supposed to be showing off the lavish kitchen reno from earlier in the year? If so, I’m not impressed.

  7. Rusty Shackleford

    I got that reference. Les cooked this for Cayla I believe, and remarked that he normally doesn’t include a vegetable.

    But yeah, ha ha ha, men cooking, ha! Full disclosure: I do all the cooking at home. It’s relaxing to me and a nice change after working on a computer all day. I’m no Les Moore, thank goodness!

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          The #1 thing I can’t stand about Les Moore is that goddam smug face.

          No matter much of a failure and/or an asshole Les is being at any given moment, he pulls that face out, and suddenly it’s a punchline! It’s phony self-deprecation, and nobody ever calls him out on it. Les Moore genuinely thinks he a woman he’s dating should be impressed that he can reheat frozen peas, and serve them as completely inappropriate side dish.

          This “oopsy, I don’t know how to cook right because I’m a man!” act stops being cute at about age 19. By age 40, women expect you to have your shit together. Les Moore is a walking master’s thesis in abnormal psychology. Entitled How Not To Have Your Shit Together: Codependency, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, and Stunted Development in Widowers.

        • Hitorque

          Christ what an asshole…

    • Phil

      Maybe they can work that into my eulogy
      “Not the greatest husband. Not the father of the year. Not the employee of the month.
      But, friends of Phil, we can all remember that he was no Les More.”

  8. Suicide Squirrel

    This is probably an unpopular sentiment but can we please have a storyline featuring Les or Dinkle? I may feel hate or disgust but at least I would be feeling something. Anything would be better than this borefest, which is beyond boring.

    What a bunch of Blah.

    Welcome to Blahnky Blahnkerbean where this week Blahnky went to the blah store and buy some blah for Blahlly. Blahlly needs blah because she broke her blah. Then we’ll watch Blahnky blah blah blah about the blah he bought. Today Blahnky is talking to Blahinda. They are blah blahing about Blahnky cooking blah and blah for dinner. 🥱💤

    • Sourbelly

      The gratuitous mention of Les, combined with Cayla in the banner, suggest that we are in for even darker times.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Following Funky Winkerbean is like being a prisoner. It’s not as horrible as you thought it would be; but the boredom is 100 times worse than you could have ever imagined. It’s so bad that you look forward to horrible things happening, just to have something to do. So bring on Les and Dinkle. At least they’re easy to hate.

      • Suicide Squirrel

        Today’s comic was so boring, my mind drifted off between panels.

        Bring forth Les and/or Dinkle. Let me feed off the vitriol flowing from the comments!

  9. be ware of eve hill

    Let me guess. Les is going to drop the “recipe” in person but will take over cooking duties because hot dogs are “his specialty”. Ugh.

    Hot dogs and peas sounds lame. Don’t you have a $1 box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese to put the peas into? How about adding some diced onions, peppers and tomatoes? How about substituting the hot dogs with a one pound chicken breast cut up into one inch squares? Top it off with shredded mozzarella. You’re welcome.

  10. Westview Radiology

    I haven’t seen Funky this happy and upbeat in years. I think he’s salivating knowing he can escape chair bound Holly for a “pharmacy run” while she’s really enlisting the “services” of an “Escort” lady who occupies the top floor of Atomix Comix. BTW she’s one armed. Westview men seem to have a fetish for that.