Tag Archives: nausea

Femur? I barely know her…

Hey party people, billytheskink here wishing Son Of Stuck Funky a very happy 8th Birthday! Has it really been eight years? Feels like eighty reading this strip…

I was going to say I was here from the beginning, but apparently I wasn’t. Not in the comments section anyways. Nevertheless, I was a Stuck Funky regular who made my way over not too long after that first post and I’ve been here ever since. The community here has been one of my favorite things on the internet for each an every one of its eight years of existence. Big thanks to TFH, Epicus, and everyone who has taken on the duty of decency that is cutting this strip down to size.

Oh yeah, there’s today’s strip to look at. *Yawn*. Cindy is still insecure… and now she is blind, as a kissing Mason’s razor-sharp features have gouged out her eyeballs. Please add “enjoy it while it lasts” to the list of things no one has said about Funky Winkerbean in 25 years.

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Lions And Tigers And Bores…Oh No

Link To Today’s Strip

The bizarre fantasy sequence-within-a-wish-fulfillment fantasy continues today and incredibly it’s even more nauseating than yesterday’s strip was. There’s something about seeing women throwing themselves at Les that just fills me with revulsion, it’s just so unlikely and unseemly, you know? At least TomBat’s therapist will have an interesting week, or so one would think. Whatever that doctor is getting paid isn’t enough IMO. Can you even imagine being stuck in a room with that guy for an hour as he whines about his world of make-believe? Shudder.

Typical Les (or in this case, Leslie): a beautiful actress is flaunting her curvaceous body in front of the guy and his response is to start boring her (and everyone else) with more useless facts no one cares about. Always trying to prove how intellectually superior he is…what a dick. The funniest line is when she refers to him as a “writer”, even though so far in this arc no one has actually seen Les write anything at all. And my educated guess is that just like with his avatar, we never will. I guess TomLes figures that if he keeps saying it, someone will eventually believe it. Like how those gullible Pulitzer voters did a few years back.

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My Contrivance Sense Is Tingling

Link To Today’s Strip

The more we see of Cindy, the older and uglier she gets. I wonder why that is? Oh, right….the hackery. Anyhoo, you can practically hear the phony canned laughter behind this trope-laden piece of crap. Old 1980’s sitcoms would have rejected this premise as being too stupid. ABC’s former longtime weekend anchor can’t score herself a hotel room in Cleveland in March? Surely there must be at least one, right? And get a load of Batom, nearly brushing up against something that could possibly be construed as an “adult situation” just like in one of them there Woodsy Allen movies they sometimes have on the cable! Why you can almost feel the cackling…I mean crackling sexual tension as these two rapidly aging former lovers engage in some playful wry banter and…..

Oh, sorry, I had to take a brief break to throw up. What was I saying? Oh yeah, the way he’s already f*cking up her hair from panel to panel…LOL. I can’t believe I’m even saying this but maybe having Cindy rent a mysterious new apartment above Montoni’s would have been a BETTER premise than this one. I mean seriously, Cindy moves in with the Winkerbeans and hilarity ensues…duh. AND another comic book reference too! Maybe Funky should try “common sense” first to see how he likes it, THEN graduate to “spidey sense”. This arc has rapidly turned into one of the biggest debacles of the year, if not the entire decade.

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