For the third year in a row, we are getting a Pizza Monster special for Halloween. I can only hope that this year is just as exciting as last year, when Funky hired a gynophobic cosplayer to threaten the Pizza Monster with a handgun.
Working late tonight myself, so I’ll see all you fine folks in the comments tomorrow!
Son of Stuck Funky 
Check it out, Crazy Harry is just “some people” now and doesn’t even merit a name-check. One of Act I’s biggest stars, now relegated to anon-o-duty. What a fall from grace, eh?
And look who’s back to work 18 days after being wheeled into emergency ankle surgery! Wow, Holly really is resilient.
Does Holly count as yet another one-armed character now?
Well, somebody needs to refill everyone’s coffee as Funky engages in his unique management style of standing behind the counter with his arms folded flapping his gums with one of his friends from high school.
Seems like pretty clear that this was written years ago–he probably coughed up a whole dozen of these “Pizza Monster” things in an entire evening and just set them aside.
It’s either the ghost of Curly Howard or the ghosts of those poor reindeer that Tony brought last Christmas and probably forgot to feed up on the Montoni’s roof.
You know, this reminds me of Linus’ annual hajj to the Pumpkin Patch in hopes of seeing the Great Pumpkin in Peanuts. It reminds me of it in that it takes place in a comic strip and it’s late October…the comparison ends there.
I could of been trick or treating! Or bobbing for apples! But noooo!
I had to stand in this urine-soaked alley waiting for the stupid pizza monster! Halloween only comes once a year and I missed it!
I demand reparations!
In Westview, “some people” is a term used to describe a single individual. Is anyone actually at the entrance to Montoni’s? (And I admit I’m giving this more thought than it deserves. – Or than what TomBa put into it.)
“Whup, whup, whup?” Is that supposed to be the sound of a helicopter as it comes in for a landing?
Pizza Copter gonna land on the roof? Something even dumber?
The least interesting mystery in the history of the world comes back for thirds.
Oh, how will the gang ever catch the mysterious Pizza Box Monster? It’s not like he’s going to call Montoni’s and tell him his name and the exact time he’s going to arrive!
That is the rub, isn’t it? I hope Batiuk quietly drops the idea of the Pizza Monster placing an order, and just has him/her/it steal the pizza instead. Like Yogi Bear with his pic-a-nic baskets.
Ah yes, that hallowed Halloween FW tradition: The Pizza Monster! That’s a callback to something the strip has done before!
When’s the last time this strip had a funny punchline that made you laugh? Just curious..
Though the ‘Holly and Funky fall asleep over books’ strip was cute, if we’re talking about actual audible noises of faint amusement? February 17, 2021.
Okay, I’ll bite. What happened on February 17, 2021?
(Also, viewed in isolation, away from the strips that surrounded it, the “Holly and Funky fall asleep over books” strip *was* cute. Not funny. But cute.)
Dinkle was enjoying his retirement by teaching band at WHS while the band room sign was taped to the wrong side of the door.
Call me crazy, but I like this. This is promising. I want Funky vs. Pizza Monster to get as close to Elmer Fudd vs. Bugs Bunny as possible, and this is at least leaning in the right direction. We’ll see if the rest of the week pans out…
OK, Crazy Butt.
There’s a booth in Montoni’s…err Luigi’s that has a picture and a blurb about “Pizza Box Man” but I can’t link it here.
https://sonofstuckfunky.com/2019/10/30/breakneck-pacing/#comment-101429
Not this again. Sigh.
Yes, how often I’ve said that to myself.
Obviously it’s an ad for Westview’s main radio station, WHUP. “All talk, and none of it good.”
It’s WHUP’s traffic copter, readying for the annual WHUP Halloween Pizza Drop. The pizzas will be hitting the ground the same way they taste… like sacks of wet cement.
Oh, the humanity!
“As God is my witness…I thought pizzas could fly”
I seem to remember the Pizza Monster’s visit last year drifted into a discussion about non-binary genders and andromorphic pizza box androgyny… Can’t wait to see what Batiuk’s got in store for us this year…
Okay, so there’s at least one person waiting outside the door. Why not wait until the Pizza Monster enters, then have that person lock the door from the outside?
Now watch this year’s version end with Funky “unmasking” the monster, only for the strip to show just Funky’s reaction (“It’s…YOU!”) without showing us who it actually is. At least the same-sex prom couple of 2012 made an appearance, even if we still don’t know who they are.
And why do I have the feeling TB responds to things like this with, “I suppose you rooted for Charlie Brown to actually kick the football, too?” Never mind that CB actually DID get to try to kick the football – and ended up kicking Lucy’s finger.
I can’t hate the Pizza Monster. At least it’s an attempt at whimsy.
There’s Rachel, who planned to leave Montoni’s after Wally graduated. She had her heart set on resuming her classwork to receive an art teaching degree. Rachel told Holly she’d still be available to wait tables on special occasions. A visit from the Pizza Monster qualifies as a special occasion?
That was more than two years ago. Perhaps Rachel graduated but can’t get an art teaching job. After graduating two years ago, Adeela still has Visa issues and can’t get that architectural internship? I guess they’re both Montoni’s lifers now.
As @DuckofDeath mentioned a few days ago, if snarkers like us can remember these details, why can’t Batty?
Wally was made night manager after he graduated. The joke was Funky needed his “beauty sleep.” Yet every time we see Wally at Montoni’s, it’s during the day. We’ve witnessed Wally installing a sign to reserve a parking space for veterans, placing handmade signs in windows, installing a wheelchair ramp, and blowing leaves.
Funky is also almost exclusively shown at Montoni’s during the day. Yet, here is Funky working the night shift. *Headdesk*.
I suppose we can excuse Funky working nights for the duration of this story arc. The Pizza Monster is the Moby Dick to his Captain Ahab.
My pet theory is that the Pizza Box Monster is…. Lisa.
I think there’s a lot of supporting evidence:
1. Ghost Lisa has been depicted talking to Ghost Phil Holt, and Phil Holt was later revealed to be alive. Furthermore, faking one’s own death has been depicted as a noble act.
2. Les just said he has learned to appreciate what he has (Cayla), suggesting that he is finally over Lisa’s death. Having her immediately return to life would be a very Batiukian plot twist.
3. The 50th Anniversary is not far away, and bringing Lisa back is the kind of attention-grabber “prestige arc” Batiuk would come up with.
4. Last year’s Pizza Box Monster story involved the PBM hinting that they could be female. DSH John was unusually shocked at this prospect.
5. Montoni’s is depicted as the highest standard of cuisine, such that even ex-Presidents crave it. It’s plausible that during her self-imposed exile, Montoni’s was the one thing from Westview she couldn’t live without, and devised a scheme to visit once a year.
6. Lisa made a real-world phone call to Les to tell him about the threat to his flight, something that doesn’t make sense unless she’s actually alive. (That leaves unexplained how she knew of the threat, though.)
Convince me otherwise.
I’ll add motive to your evidence in this delightful fantasy – When Lisa heard Les say “It’s okay to go” she realized that he was trying to kill her (think a version of Gaslight that has death rather than insanity as its object). Lisa then convinced the hospice nurse to have her medication analyzed. This lead to the discovery that it was an exotic poison that mimics the wasting effects of cancer. She then managed to work out an elaborate fake death scenario (including substitution of ashes from the local animal shelter for her cremains).
I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Les also killed John Darling and convinced the deluded Plantman to confess.
What other decesased Northeastern Ohio residents could be victims of Les? Bull Bushka?
I like where your head is. Les Moore was born to be the villain in a Lifetime “she thought she had the perfect husband” TV movie. And Les’ motivation for all these movie attempts was to keep control of the narrative. Lisa’s story had to be told “correctly,” according to him, even though he never said what that meant.
Cayla is actually an undercover police officer who got pulled way too deep into a case. It’s about to pay off, though.