Ho Ho Ho-le lotta nothin’

If TB is going to procrastinate until 5 minutes before his deadline, as was surely the case with today’s strip, then why can’t I? Yep, I began this post at 10:25/9:25 CT and finished this up right at 10:30/9:30 CT.

Does Crazy even know who Santa Claus is? He seemed genuinely baffled that anyone would mistake him for Santa while wearing a Santa hat and Skyler has had to browbeat him into doing Santa Claus things all week. This is the fourth time in six days.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

39 responses to “Ho Ho Ho-le lotta nothin’

  1. Epicus Doomus

    And he’s running this piece of crap the week BEFORE Christmas, which means he has an even worse one in the can for next week. Saturday strips are almost always low/no effort, but this is ridiculous.

  2. They needed a Saturday strip, and the deadline was in 15 seconds.

  3. William Thompson

    Skyler looks like he knows exactly what he’s doing: playing the adults for the fools they are. There’s hope for that kid after all!

    • Epicus Doomus

      Agreed, he appears to be laughing at Crazy, not with him. A clever writer might have run with this concept and revealed that little baby Skyler actually masterminded this entire scenario just to score himself some free Komix Korner swag. You have him leaving the store with Jerkface and whatshername, he says something like “this doltish toddler act works every single time, I can get $150 easy for this on Fleabay” and bam, you have a little comedy. But putting that much thought into it would have seriously cut into his leaf and squirrel-watching time, so there you go.

  4. Sourbelly

    Sure, this may seem like a strip that took Batdick 3 picoseconds to write, but you have to consider all the dialog he DIDN’T write. Consider all the comedy negative space involved.


  5. Banana Jr. 6000

    And there’s that smug, punchable face again in Panel 3. God, I hate that face. How can Tom Batiuk such a simple, sweet concept and make everyone in it, including a 3-year-old, so hateable?

  6. Hitorque

    Somebody needs to teach this entitled brat the importance of “please” and “thank you” instead of barking orders like a Little Hitler..

  7. billytheskink

    Crazy’s “ho ho ho” is less a jolly laugh and more an attack of appendicitis.

  8. Wassail winthrop

    This crap is so bad it could send Tiny Tim into a rage.

    • J.J. O'Malley

      But then who will play the ukulele and sing “Tiptoe Through the Tulips”?

      Seriously, though, this is just…sad. Is there even a joke anywhere in the vicinity of today’s strip that Batiuk was aiming for but missed? Lil’ Skycap think a guy in a red sweater is Santa just because of his hat and beard, asks (demands) that he ho! ho! ho!, and Harry obliges. Clearly there’s an artist named Ayers, but does TB run these past anyone else before submitting them?

      • Y. Knott

        Ayers probably tried at one point to suggest some punch-ups to an FW strip, and was firmly shut down. Then Ayers realized nobody actually reads FW, so there’s no way there would be any negative repercussions from just illustrating whatever the hell concept Tom sends him, verbatim. It’s actually a wonder he lavishes as much attention on the drawings as he does.,,,

        As for King Features ‘editors’, it’s well established that their only function is to ensure that the comics are sent out on time to the publications that carry them, and that they are the right size to fill the alloted space. That’s it. Anyone who has read Apartment 3-G or 9 Chickweed Lane can confirm this.

        • Suicide Squirrel

          Batyuk has always struck me as a control freak. I wouldn’t be surprised if he storyboards the comic strip before passing it on to Ayers.

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            Oh, there’s no question. This is a cartoonist who killed off a main character rather than let the syndicate own it, even though this was part of his agreement with them. Why they let those strips be printed, I have no idea. But that’s how far back the coddling of Batiuk goes.

          • Y. Knott

            The final two Darling strips, along with Batiuk’s explanation of the circumstances leading to their creation, are here:

            I can easily come up with half-a-dozen ways to continue the strip from here (ranging from “it was all a dream” to “John Darling faked his own death to get the attention he always wanted”), and probably you can too. It’s clear, then, the syndicate simply had zero interest in continuing a failed strip that had been losing readership for years. And that Batiuk’s petulant little temper tantrum would have had no impact whatsoever on their decision-making process.

    • The Duck of Death

      “Curse us all to hell, every one!”

  9. be ware of eve hill

    Skyler: Moo like a cow.
    Crazy Harry: Mooooo.
    Skyler: Quack like a duck.
    Crazy Harry: Quack quack.
    Skyler: Bark like a dog.
    Crazy Harry: Woof woof.
    Skyler: Give me your wallet and keys.
    Crazy Harry: Okey dokey. Here you go.
    Skyler: Thanks, Santa!
    Crazy Harry: Merry Christmas!

  10. The Duck of Death

    I would have thought that by now we’d be on the “beloved” ritual of Funky decorating Montoni’s. Or checking in on Dinkle’s preparations for the Rose Parade.

    Those would have been boring, sure, but this… this is real garbage.

  11. At least we got to see Skylark utter a complete(?) sentence at last, such as it is.

    • The Duck of Death

      Did you know “Skylark” was written by Hoagy Carmichael? Yes, the very same one whose “Stardust” inspired Mopey Pete’s Starduster character! The very same one who Mopey Pete decided to share character co-creation credit with! Even though he’s been dead for 40 years and his estate is flush with royalties from such popular standards as “Georgia on my Mind,” “Lazybones,” “Heart and Soul,” “The Nearness of You,” and many others that no doubt generate millions every year! Even though he could have named ol’ Commie Ruby Lith, or Minty, as co-creators!

      Just thought I’d share that li’l coincidence with y’all since the whole “Starduster” incident still sticks in my craw.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Yeah, that one really chaps my ass too. It’s not that he “could” have named them as co-creators; they WERE co-creators. Arguably more than he was. But look where the money and credit goes:

        That can’t be shown enough times. It’s a rare succinct example of what a selfish, greedy piece of shit Pete is. “Best writer in comic books” my ass.

        • The Duck of Death

          Another ass-chapping fact: Why no co-co-credit for the lyricist, Mitchell Parrish? And another: Hoagy Carmichael was a sublime songwriter and a wonderful, endearing performer. Why on earth would he want to have his name associated posthumously with the utter dreck created by Atomik Komix?

        • Hitorque

          And kissing on the forehead is something you do to your infirm grandmother or kid sister maybe… But never your fiancee!

          (But then again what the hell would I know about it? I’m 45 and never even been engaged before)

  12. Don

    More like “Huh? Huh? Huh?” if you ask me

  13. Perfect Tommy

    Seven years of preschool down the drain.

  14. Charles

    Skyler’s first full sentence this week should have been:

    “Jesus Christ, you are the worst Santa I’ve ever seen!”

    Crazy literally had to be told to do every single Santa thing he did by a preverbal child, even when he was full in on playing Santa for the little shit. All he did himself was grow a beard and put on a hat that matched his shirt.

  15. The way Harry is clutching his stomach makes me think this is not Skyler’s first request for a “Ho ho ho” and the last time, he punched Harry in the gut. Harry is taking precautions now.

    • Anonymous Sparrow

      Remember what happened to another Harry when he was punched in the gut at the wrong time?

      Can you spell peritonitis, Crazy Harry? Harrry Houdini could.