That’s right, I’m back for an incredibly rare and extremely courageous third week. I don’t give a damn about what those fancy doctors say, with their “degrees” and their “worrisome test results”, I’m doing it, dammit. Never you mind “why”. If I want to throw myself on a grenade arc for the sake of the SoSF staff, then that’s what I’ll do.
As always, the regret re: doing a third week began immediately upon seeing the Monday strip. More Boy Lisa AND Batton f*cking Thomas…sigh. Maybe if Batton spent a little less time softly making wry, self-deprecating remarks about how mediocre and obscure he is and a little more time working, someone might actually read his stupid strip. He’s one of the dreariest, least-likeable characters in the entire strip, minus maybe Linda, I guess. Why is he even there? He STILL works out every day in the Atomik Komix studio? What, Phil, Flash, Ruby and Pete aren’t already wry and self-deprecating enough for one office?
Son of Stuck Funky 
Dear Mr. Thomas…
We are in receipt of what appears to be a brick from you. We remind you that you contribution to our “Cartooning Wall of Fame” was entirely unsolicited and that most of the other cartoonists actually donated drawings, which is much more in line with the wall’s intent.
We assure you that we will contact you in the event that we wish a contribution from you. We are keeping the brick, however, so that if you approach us again we can throw it at you.
Sincerely,
The Cartooning Wall of Fame Committee.
“O consideration, if we ever do build a brick wall, you will be the first cartoonist we invite to stand in front of it. We will supply the blindfold and last cigarette gratis.”
On consideration *sigh*
A THIRD week, Epicus?!? And it’s a Batton Thomas week?
Have you gone MAD? You can’t handle it! You can’t go with what you are! You’ve read the strips, it’s suicide! You’ve seen him you know how dull he is! YOU CAN’T WIN!
Yeah, I mean, I’m not in a good head space myself but for an emergency like “three weeks in a row” I could take like two or three days off your load.
“The Last Brick” will be written by Les Moore, and it will climax when an exasperated reader hits Baton Thomas in the head with that final brick in the wall.
C’mon Epicus Doomus,
You had the easiest 2 week shift ever. 😜 it was exciting, riveting, plot driven, hugely interesting characters. The posts basically wrote themselves. Plus there was a gray, blob of a toy. Well, it’s time to pay the piper. No good deed goes unpunished. You finish with Batton Thomas. Man! If this is a 3 week arc, I pity the fool that has to do the last 2 weeks dealing with him. We will find out who you not only merely hate but most sincerely, really hate by who takes over for you. (I predict a SOSF version of Blue Flu!) You may have to do a fourth and fifth week. Condolences!!!
Actually, one of our esteemed guest hosts ( I’m not saying who) just returned from a trip to a far and distant land, where they took part in various rituals and whatnot, and they needed some recovery time before they were physically and mentally prepared to deal with six days of Batton Thomas’ inane drollery. And that’s all I’ll say about that.
It amazes me how rude the people in this strip are. “Batton Thomas” can jolly well afford his own treadmill or gym membership, but he just shows up at their WORKPLACE to use one for free. And isn’t that the cosmic treadmill, a one-of’a-kind relic from the multi-octillion dollar Starbuck Jones movie? And they just let randos use it as a regular treadmill? Funky was more protective of his “priceless” Walkman!
Actually, if memory serves me right, the Cosmic Treadmill (copyright DC Comics and Warner Bros. Discovery) was a one-of-a-kind relic from Dobbin and Mopey Pete’s fanboy hajj to the Flash Museum, which either means Ohio devoted a museum to a fictional comic book character or the Scarlet Speedster is a live superhero in the Funkyverse. It’s the lovable Holton computer, cameoing in panel two, that was prominently featured in the SJ movie. Funny, isn’t it, how the Boisterous Atomik Bullpen is filled with ancient relics…Batton, Ruby, Flash, and the Late Phil notwithstanding. What was it Durwood said last week about living in the past?
Ah, this is another Batty fantasy, that he can stroll right into the bullpen of a big comics publisher and rap with the artists like he is one of the guys.
And he takes a quiet pride in his humility, doesn’t he?
It never ends, does it?
I suppose we will suffer through some self aggrandizing inside baseball about comic strips so TB can pat himself on the back a week. Then the Pizza Monster comes. I would prefer the last brick be used to bury Barton alive. We can even chip in for a cask of amontillado which Boy Lisa and Jessica will turn into a sippie cup for their mutant offspring.
Oh, come on! You know that Darin and Jessica, like Luchesi, can’t tell amontillado from sherry!
Be still, my tell-tale heart…
Now you’re just ravin’.
“Has to be fun”? How do you figure, Durwood? We have seen pretty much nothing in this strip to indicate that working in comics is fun in any way.
“The Wreck of the Old 97” is a ringing endorsement for a career with the railroad compared to Funky Winkerbean‘s depiction of the comics industry.
Hey! I was just in Danville a few weeks ago… Didn’t have time to find the wreck site, though…
Batton’s brick will be in the last row…of a wall. What does that even mean? The bottom row? Some row behind the wall?
Stay tuned tomorrow for “Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2)”.
The last row in a brick wall is on the top. I think, though, that Batton Thomas thinks newspaper komix are a dying medium and that he’s the one killing it.
All in all, Batton Thomas is just another brick in the wall.
May I suggest, Epicus, getting comfortably numb before reviewing his week’s strips?
No pudding before meat.
Who wouldn’t enjoy a strip in which Les’s students sang “hey, teacher, leave us kids alone” to him?
Shine on, you crazy diamonds, and see Emily play. (David Bowie and Martha Wainwright cover that song splendidly.)
Shouldn’t they be charging this freeloader a membership fee or some usage fees or fees just for the inconvenience of making the rest of the bullpen hear all that huffing and puffing and making the whole office smell like stale sweat?
And I’m sorry, BUT DOES THIS BASTARD WORK FOR A LIVING OR NOT?! I mean certainly he has some kind of office or workplace to go to during regular business hours, even if it’s a home office…
I don’t get it… Batton clearly hates his job even though it has kept him clothed and fed for decades — I can totally relate to that…
But it’s not like anyone is holding a gun to his head and force him to write a daily comic strip, right? So why doesn’t he just walk away, reinvent himself and do something else with his life?
Ah, poor Tom, giving it the good fight daily, in spite of those darn internet snarksters. He’s just trying to bring some honesty to comics page….
I wonder if he listens to Pink Floyd.
Me too. Has Tom Batiuk never heard the metaphor “another brick in the wall”? It’s one of the most vivid, clear pop culture metaphors in history. It’s not something you would call yourself self-deprecatingly or at all positively. And what the hell does “mine will be in the last row” mean? Brick walls don’t have a “last row”, unless they’re more than one brick thick. And if that’s the case… no one can see his brick? He’s a supporting brick? You tell me. Batiuk took a well-understood metaphor that made sense, tried to redefine it, and completely botched it. It’s not even a joke. It is completely incoherent.
That’s the first thing I thought (Pink Floyd) when I read this.
He’s heard of it, but I’m sure he doesn’t like it because it was the basis of a popular song.
It’s not just “popular”, it’s one of the defining songs in rock history! And Batiuk just ignores it, so he can repurpose the phrase into a new way to praise himself that makes no sense. The man’s nose is so buried in comic books that he’s ignorant of, or chooses to ignore, things with the long-term cultural heft of The Wall.
The official Pink Floyd theme song for the Funkyverse has to be “Mother”
That’s a classic Batdick move. Take a popular phrase and mangle it just enough to make your teeth itch.
I get the feeling the only pop culture Floyd that Batiuk is aware of is the barber from “The Andy Griffith Show.”
Imagine reading today’s strip in the inevitable compilation book by Kent State University Press.
Tom Batiuk, in the foreword: “By now, my writing had become so sophisticated that no human being could understand it. I began to think about the afterlife, and how I would immediately be promoted to head of the Algonquin Round Table, so Dorothy Parker, Oscar Wilde, and Stan Lee could chortle at my sublime wit for all eternity.”
“Batton Thomas”, in the strip: “I’m so humble! I’m so self-deprecating! I just want to be another brick in the wall! Whoa, did I just blow your mind? No one has ever used that metaphor before!”
Shortly before his death, Oscar Wilde lamented that he had put his genius into his life and his talent into his work.
To his credit, as he was sometimes guilty of the same, Joe Orton found that appalling. (Another Orton/Simon play title: *The Good and Faithful Servant Gets Lost in Yonkers.* Its incidental music should include the B-52’s with “Girl from Ipanema Goes to Geenland,” the Ramones with “Bonzo Goes to Bitburg” and John Prine with “Sabu Visits the Twin Cities Alone.”)
There are movies and plays about the lives of Wilde and Orton. Is there enough genius and talent in Batiuk for such endeavors in the future?
I wonder how many time the Funky Winkerbean high school stage play will be performed after Tom Batiuk’s death. Or if it’s even being performed now.
I would imagine that it hasn’t been performed this century. And that it will not blight succeeding centuries either.
All in all, it’s just another dick in the wall.
‘Another Dick in the Wall’ is what I’ll call the murder biopic about Funky entombing Les alive in the basement of Montoni’s.
TB’s love of bricks has been well established (Note to Epicus: Do we think this posts merits a “bricks” tag?).
Other than that, in addition to the oddity of a non-employee actively using a treadmill that was obviously not meant to really be used as a treadmill (a real treadmill would have rails on both sides as a safety measure), who in the world runs on a treadmill wearing slacks?
Old people. At my gym, there are lots of old folks that workout in street clothes.
“We don’t need no Batom Comix,
We don’t need no Starsuck Jones!
You’re not Stan Lee, nor Jack Kirby.
Battocks, leave them strips alone!
HEY! BATTOCKS!!
LEAVE THEM STRIPS ALONE!!!
All in all you’re just another prick with some gall…
All in all you’re just another prick with some gall…“
Somebody had to say it.
Meanwhile, Crankshaft has decided to try edible marijuana.
(Yeah, I know, it’s just one of his stupid malapropisms. But of all the words Batiuk could have used, he chose one that makes Ed sound like he’s gonna do drugs. And it’s a lot funnier to read it this way than any way Batiuk intended.)
Perhaps he could do a FW arc where the gang scores some primo methamphetamine. Maybe it’d liven things up, although the word balloons would probably be HUGE.
Maybe they can borrow Tommy from Mary Worth. “Soon I’ll have my very own place… with my very own METH LAB!” Man, that was gold.