Recently, the comic strip Luann has been irritating me almost as much as the Batton Death March, which begins its 11th week today. Luann‘s tedious story arc is about a “Career Paths” class, which seems to be the only class the title character is taking in her 27th semester of junior college.
I decided to improve both stories, by crashing them into each other.
Text that appears in the standard Crankshaft or Luann font is unedited from the original strip, except for minor rewording, and sometimes being paired with different artwork.
Warning: The parody story text contains lots of foul language.
NOTE: Those are parallelograms, not triangles.
The end.
Son of Stuck Funky 
BJ6000,
That was AWESOME! We need more of this. I never thought I’d say it, but I miss the halcyon days of Les Moore and those simps from FW. If I see one more Batton Thomas aka Tom Batiuk self-flagellation, strip I will puke. Just seeing him and that one-armed creepy reporter (which I just thought of, what kind of infatuation does Bathack have with one-armed people)? makes me want to go out and kick a kitten. FFS.
Also, I noticed on your plaque, with your name, it says you’re from Omaha. Sweet so am I. Well, technically Gretna, but if you live in the area you know what I mean.
Anyways, I love ya’lls work and it always puts a smile on my face and a spring in my step
Bill
This is brilliant. Thanks, BJ6K!
Oh, yeah. Inner beauty: a dumb woman’s idea of how to cheer up a homely child
I mean, there’s some truth to it. Most people don’t care as much how you look as long as you’re clean and groomed. They care a heck of a lot more how you make them feel.
Luann makes other people feel bored, nervous, or a wretched combination of both.
What I find most annoying is the entitlement. Instead of the girl next door, she’s a female Nice Guy.
The great big difference is that we’re actively been discouraged from sympathizing with Luann by her creators. They depict a girl with crippling self esteem issues but we’re told she needs to grow up.
I STAND IN A LINE STRETCHING BACK A THOUSAND MILES. BECAUSE I WOULD WALK A THOUSAND MILES TO READ THIS GREATNESS AGAIN.
This is the greatest mashup ever!
That was awesome!!! Well done, my friend. Well done!
You would think combining Luann and Crankshaft would result in a toxic waste dump of a strip about awful people living cringe-inducingly pointless lives and exchanging excruciating dialogue.
And that’s exactly what happened!
But it’s very, very funny. And the Pluggers cameo was the icing on the cake. On a scale of The Biography of Claude Barlow to Lisa’s Story? This is at least a spinner rack full of Rip Tide, Scuba Cop.
The Pluggers panel is a highlight among an entire post of highlights. Tremendous use of the existing artwork.
Much as we all rightfully despise Batton Thomas and every panel he appears in… we don’t get this brilliance without him. To quote Crankshaft, truly there is a silver lining behind every clod.
I stand in line!