Stop, Collaborate And Listen

My post from 9 days ago didn’t age well.

I bemoaned Tom Batiuk’s lack of ambition about his ambitionlessness, then he turns around and gives us his most ambitious ambitionless week yet.

This week is certainly trying to be something. And you don’t have to squint too hard to see what it is: a collection of noble statements about what America claims to be, juxtaposed with perceived current American realities.

A lot of commenters had great things to say about this week. Here’s the perfect place to start:

At no point has the conversation descended into arguments over politics. Though we all may have definite, even passionate, opinions on various political issues that are both compelling and well thought out, this isn’t an appropriate forum for that.

Y. Knott

To try and keep that tone, I will start by saying that I’m not here to talk about the rightness or wrongness of this week’s content. I’m here to talk about how well or poorly it is expressed. (You can probably guess which side I’m going to land on.)

Tom himself literally stated in the puff piece that he is not saying anything in the strips and is letting people make the commentary.

wherescrankshaft

Let’s dive into that puff piece! It is https://www.gocomics.com/extras/tom-batiuk-crankshaft-america-essay (hat tip to J.J. O’Malley).

Tom Batiuk Believes Comic Strips Can Do More Than Make Us Laugh

We’re not even past the headline yet, and it’s already obvious Batiuk wrote it.

As I said about Tom Batiuk’s interview with Terence Dollard awhile back: the people who interview Tom Batiuk do nothing but build strawmen out of softballs. One of Tom’s favorite notions is that he’s some kind of visionary for thinking comic strips don’t have to be funny. No one ever said they did! And some of the funniest strips are best remembered for their least funny moments.

From cancer to immigration, the “Crankshaft” creator has never shied away from difficult subjects.

OK, I’ll give him that.

For years, Tom Batiuk—creator of “Funky Winkerbean” and “Crankshaft”—has strived to expand the concept of a comic strip, challenging the idea that the art form is simply for laughs. This week’s “Crankshaft” storyline is a prime example: it uses recent news events to examine what it means to be an American today.

The center panel in four of the upcoming strips features a line of cursive handwriting plucked from a fictional essay written by Batiuk’s alter ego, cartoonist Batton Thomas, who we met back in the days of “Funky Winkerbean,” the comic Batiuk produced from 1972 to 2022. In one of the new strips, the line reads: “To me, America means home. A home where I feel safe and protected.”

In stark contrast, the very next panel features an illustration of Liam Conejo Ramos, the 5-year-old boy detained by ICE agents alongside his father in January 2026 outside their home in Columbia Heights, a Minneapolis suburb. Dressed in a bunny hat and Spider-Man backpack, the child was held with his father for nearly two weeks at a family detention center in Dilley, Texas. In a February interview with MPR News, his father said Liam continued to suffer from psychological trauma.

This sounds exactly like a high school essay, doesn’t it? The confident mastery of the obvious, the general air of pretentiousness, the tacked-on sentence clauses and irrelevant details.

Spider-Man backpack

Knowing what Tom Batiuk is really like, how important is that detail? If it was a Buzz Lightyear backpack, would Batiuk have ever learned of Ramos’ existence? He seems like the kind of guy who would have a Google News alert set up for the name of any comic book he thinks he should be the writer of.

The student essay by Batton Thomas in the “Crankshaft” strips echoes a real-life essay Batiuk wrote as a high school senior in 1965. He received an award from the local paper for the piece.

And now it has been written in a blog Tom Batiuk received an award and was written about in the newspaper. Will the next puff piece writer say “Batiuk has received an award and was written about in a newspaper and a blog”? Oh crap, now it’s a newspaper and two blogs.

A dream about that essay sparked the idea for the storyline, he says by phone

You heard it yourself, folks. Straight from the horse’s mouth. Tom Batiuk dreams about awards he won in high school 60 years ago. He said it. Not me.

In addition to young Liam Ramos, the images running this week include a masked ICE agent, the barbed wire fence outside an ICE detention center, and Jan. 6 rioters storming a barricade at the U.S. Capitol.

This article ran on Tuesday, and Batiuk just tipped off most of his shock moments for the upcoming week. And shock moments are all he has.

“The thing I like about the approach to this storyline,” Batiuk explains, “is that I don’t really say anything.

Same thing you’ve been doing for 25 years: not telling us anything. Just like you didn’t tell us where Eugene moved to or why. But you wrote two weeks of him saying goodbye slowly, and starting to go somewhere even more slowly.

I kind of left it to people to make their own decisions.

This is one of those things Batiuk likes to say about himself without really understanding it. He thinks it makes him sound noble, but he doesn’t realize how much his life’s work contradicts it. Tom Batiuk’s existence is a monument to his belief that all decisions should be made by him, or at least approved by him.

That doesn’t mean he’s not prepped for pushback—and he’s received plenty of that in his career.

Really? When? From who? Is he talking about that one time he got pulled from the Northern Wisconsin News over a joke that should have gotten him nationally roasted? Because it happened to Bobby Knight when he said a very similar thing.

Does he mean us? We don’t give pushback. We give thoughtful, critical analysis of his work. We don’t take him to task about his subject matter, except in his general choices of what to write about (“oh Lord, not another Batton Thomas week”).

Even Comics Curmudgeon rarely mentions his work anymore. And from what I’ve found on the Internet, genuine fans stopped bothering 15 years ago.

In his 54 years as a comic artist, Batiuk has used his strips to touch on thorny subjects such as teen suicide, book banning, capital punishment, and same-sex couples at the prom.

Again: I never said he didn’t try. However half-assed all four of those attempts were.

Six years ago, he penned a story arc in “Funky Winkerbean” about an Iraqi immigrant named Adeela seized by misguided ICE agents while delivering a pizza. She narrowly escaped deportation.

And we all know how she narrowly escaped deportation: by having Montoni’s ask Bill Clinton to do them a solid! During the first Trump administration. I wonder why the puff piece didn’t mention that.

Batiuk wrote himself into a corner, couldn’t write himself out, and then had to cover up his own incompetence in his own propaganda. Politics was this man’s true calling. North Korean politics.

Lisa Crawford-Moore

And here we are, folks! Somehow we went from real children and real American issues to Tom Batiuk’s Dollar Tree Lenore. Who’s been dead for 20 fucking years now. And who nobody ever really liked anyway.

But, in 2008, Batiuk was named a Pulitzer Prize finalist in editorial cartooning for this work, which is collected in the book Lisa’s Story: The Other Shoe.

10/10 no notes.

In “one of the best moments ever,” he says, he met a woman at a book signing…

You know how we always joke about there never being people at those book signings? Well, there’s your proof.

OK, I selectively quoted that to make a joke.

…who had read the strips and decided to get a mammogram.

Yet another real incident from Tom Batiuk’s life that ended up in the comic strip. Because of Lisa’s Story (available near you!) Marianne Winters discovered her own cancer, thanks to the great Les Moore! Marianne gave Les her Oscar Trophy, $1,000,000, a new car, the Pulitzer Prize, and a handjob.

Her doctors discovered a growth, which they safely removed. “I thought, wow, that’s all you can ask for from a comic strip,” Batiuk says.

It is unclear whether the growth or the comic strip was safely removed. I think they’re both equally toxic.

Batiuk is not the only comic strip artist to wrestle with challenging subject matter. Garry Trudeau used “Doonesbury”

Yes, let’s talk about Doonesbury, shall we? Let’s compare these two visionary cartoonists, since you’re trying to imply that Batiuk is on Trudeau’s level. Here’s how they each handled the same “difficult subject”:

Trudeau kept the gore offscreen to center the moment on the human emotion; Batiuk did the exact opposite. Keep in mind that Trudeau’s character is a soldier who would have been trained that limb loss was a possible outcome. Batiuk’s character was a high school girl who just won a prestigious music scholarship. Notice which one isn’t the least bit bothered. And which strip actually had a joke.

Notice also that Becky leads with “tell him I said hi”, as if her monumental act of forgiveness were the less important message. And the effects on her family were even less important! “Yeah, my mom’s a little bummed that I lost a 6-figure scholarship and a direct path to a prestigious career, and she’s suddenly gonna have to figure out how to pay for Kent Fucking State like everyone else in this craphole. But she’ll get over it.” And even a socially inept high school girlfriend on an ordinary day should have something more meaningful to say than “tell him I said hi.” Ugh.

the vast majority [of newspapers] do go along for the ride [by carrying controversial FW/CS strips]

Remember what I said about Batiuk being kicked out of the Northern Wisconsin News that one time? Thanks for proving my point. That joke was pretty accurate, wasn’t it?

And Mort Walker saddled Beetle Bailey with nightmares in 2013 to raise awareness of post-traumatic stress disorder.

The “Sarge beats Beetle into a puddle for no good reason” jokes sure haven’t stopped.

[comic strips] come right to your house. There’s no privilege whatsoever.

Just like ICE!

people see their lives reflected in [the characters]

Yeah. So did I once.

With or without the laughter.

Large bet on “without.”

Introducing: Funkshi!

I need to wrap up the Batton Thomas prediction contest from last week’s strips. Sorry I’m late, I’ve been busy touring with Weird Al Yankovic:

Much like Weird Al, I’m white and nerdy. Because it’s all about the Pentiums, baby.

Anyway, I need to settle your plays, and “tally the sore”! And I plan to continue this game going forward. I will begin to standardize the game in this post.

I have named this project “Funkshi”, a portmanteau of “Funky” and the “shi” in the popular online prediction market Kalshi. (Don’t take this as an endorsement. I’m very pro-gambling, but I find “online prediction markets” vile. If you have a better name idea, I’m all ears.)

Let’s revisit the original offerings from this post, and get a ruling for each.

G1. When will the next week of the Batton Death March begin? The most recent installment began on May 18. In the future, the wager will offer the upcoming five Mondays as a choice.

G2. Will Skip start the week by making a comment about “continuing the interview”? Skip said “so you talked the last time about…” making this a Yes. The words do not have to be exact.

G3. Where will they meet? Dale Evans. Future bets will have a “field” option, which basically means “none of the above” offered options.

G4. What recording device will Skip use? Skip’s cell phone was visible. 

A1. How many times will the

image be used? Once. (This image really needs a fan nickname.)

A2. Will there be a word balloon that is more than half the size of the panel? This panel was close, but no cigar:

Dare to be stupid.

The balloon was 403 x 125 pixels, or 50,375 square pixels. The entire panel is 438 x 281, or 124,108 square pixels. That is the standard it must meet: 50% of the entire panel. Word balloons and panels include the entire balloon (not just the words), but do not include the tail that indicates the speaker, or anything that extends beyond a border (like the Batiuk & Davis signature). The balloon was only 40.9% of the panel, which means the bet loses.

A3. How many flashback images will there be? There were three! It doesn’t matter if they’re real-life flashbacks, a fictional characters’ flashbacks, or Batton Thomas’ flashbacks, which are a little of both.

A4. Will a flashback image include a real person? This is a tough one to judge. One of those images was:

Your sports team is vastly inferior. This simple fact is plainly obvious to see.


Are these real people? Are they fictional high schoolers? You could make a case for either. From now on, the offer will be Will a flashback image include an identifiable person? Also, I’m going to say that Batton Thomas himself doesn’t count as a real person, even if he is doing something Tom Batiuk actually did.

A5. Will there be a sideways strip? The above image was in the sideways strip. I rotated it back to vertical here. I’m not a monster.

A6. What early Tom Batiuk artwork will appear? Narshe confirmed this an early Tom Batiuk artwork, from the Chronicle Teen-Age Page, via Match to Flame 12 at the Batiuk blog. Again, we will add the word “identifiable” to the question.

A7. How many times will Skip smirk? I’m going to remove this one, because it’s too subjective to judge. How many of these are smirks?

There was also a silhouetted Skip I forgot to include in this image.

I would say 6: all but the two right-most ones, which could just be regular smiles. As much as I would love to consider context, this is the Funkyverse, so your guess of the context is as good as mine. Note also that two of these images are identical.

A8. What intellectual property will be appropriated? None this week.

M1. Will Batton mention comic books? He didn’t explicitly, but “Harry Finkle being bitten by a radioactive band director” sounds to me like Spiderman’s origin story. (Or is it Arachnid Man’s?) In the future, Batton must say “comic books”, or name a comic book title.

M2. In which of the following ways will comic books appear? If it they appeared at all, it wasn’t in any of the offered ways. This is another one that will have a “field” option.

M3. Will Batton quote someone? He cites something Charles Schulz said during an interview, but doesn’t technically quote him. Going forward, Batton must repeat the exact words.

M4. Who will Batton name-drop? Schulz. Any explicit mention of a real person counts as a name-drop.

M5. Who will Batton bash? No one this week.

M6. Will Batton act like a complete jackass at some point? M7. Will Batton talk about doing actual work on Three O’Clock High or The Wrinkles? These are also vague, but they can stay because they’re jokey enough that the answer can be assumed. They also only pay .0001 point each. Take it and get out of here.

Consider this a “money line” bet on a ludicrously heavy favorite, like a bet that Ohio State will beat Kent State in football this fall. They don’t have to beat the point spread; just win the game. You can make that kind of bet at a real gambling house, but it pays laughably little when you win. I suspect it would be about -100000, which means “bet $1000 to win $1.”

M8. How many of the seven deadly sins will Batton commit? I will not offer this wager in the future, because it isn’t a good thing to bet on.

Batton always commits certain sins by his mere existence (Pride, Envy) and never others (Wrath, Lust). I ruled that Gluttony is largely a factor of if they’re at Montoni’s, and if they eat it. Greed comes into play if somebody finds yet another a priceless comic book lying around. As for Sloth, that one’s a bit meta. I think the mere presence of the A1 bet implies that Sloth exists in Crankshaft, at least in the creation of it. But I don’t want to reconcile layers of meta-content to judge these plays.

So who won the inaugural contest, and who lost on Jeopardy? Let’s judge now. The rules were:

Make choices, and score a total number of points based on the difficulty of the prediction. -1 point for any incorrect choice. 

In the future, you can miss up to 5 choices before losing any points. But for the first week, we must honor the rules as they were written. Also, some of you made the bets that I have since declared too ambiguous to judge. For the first round, I will be very lenient about paying off winners. I’ll accept any bet that’s close enough, even if the offer required an exact match. In some cases, different answers to the same question can both win.

Y. Knott: A1. Two or more times (-1). A7. 7 (+1; close enough.) M3. Yes (+1; again, in the future it must be more specific, but I’m allowing it this time.) M4. (-1). M6. Yes (+.0001). M7. Yes (+.0001). M8. (+1; close enough). Total: 1.0002.

CSRoberto: G2: No (-1). G4: pen and paper (-1). A1: at least twice (-1). M6: Definitely so (+.0001). M7. No. (+.0001) M8. (+1). Total: -1.9998

Iansdrunkenbeard: G1 – May 18 (+1). G2 – Yes (+1). G3 – Sentinel office (-1). G4– cell phone (+1). A1 – 2 or more (-1). A2 – more than one (-1). A3 – 1 (-1) A4 – No (+1, because it’s could be either). A5 – No (-1). A6 – Pre Funky (+1; we don’t know what this artwork actually is, but I’ll count it). A7 – 7 (+1; close enough) A8 – DC or Marvel (-1) M1 – More than once (-1; even if you count Finkle’s origin story, it was mentioned only once). M2 – Writing for comic books (-1). M3 – No (+1; again, it’s ambiguous). M4 – Milt Caniff (-1). M6 – Yes (+.0001). M7 – No (+.0001). M8 – 6 (-1; he definitely didn’t commit Lust or Wrath, which eliminates 6 as a possibility). Total: -2.9998.

[o]: G1. May 11 (-1). G2. No. (-1). G3. Westview HS (-1). G4. None. (-1) A1. At least three times (-1). A2. More than one (-1). A3. Only one (-1). A4. Yes (-1). A5. No (-1). A6. FW Act 1 art (-1; it isn’t identifiably Act I art). A7. 5.(+1; close enough.) A8. None (+1. Even if Batton is referencing Spider-Man’s origin story, that’s not the same as “appropriating intellectual property.”) M1. No (+1). M2. None of the above (+1). M3. Flash Fairfield (-1). M4. Flash Fairfield (-1). M5. (+1, the band members in the sideways are depicted as dumb). M6. Yes (+.0001). M7. Yes* (-1). M8. How many of the seven deadly sins will Batton commit? Just pride and sloth. (+1; close enough) Total: -7.9999.

So the Week 1 champion is Y. Knott! Iansdrunkenbeard got off to a great start, but had too many misses overall. And, there’s a lesson here about gambling: four people gambled, and only one of them made a profit. Plus, as always, the house.

Caption Contest!

What is Keesterman saying?

This is just the last panel of today’s Crankshaft strip, with the tail of the word zeppelin pointing where it should. (And with a ridiculous coloring error fixed.)

The GoComics version.

The artwork looks more like Keesterman should be speaking, doesn’t it? It’s practically a reverse angle of the May 19 strip, where Batton and Skip are the foreground characters. Which they should be, since they’re focus of the dialogue monologue. Today’s strip has the background characters doing the talking, even though they’ve been the focus characters this entire week.

This is such a grade school-level composition failure, that it looks like Tom Batiuk is passive-aggressively making a point to the “where’s Crankshaft?” crowd. “Oh, you want more Crankshaft? Fine! I’ll make him the biggest character on the page, while I continue talking about what I want to talk about!” I wonder how Mr. Batiuk, the young art teacher, would have graded this if one of his students submitted it.

Also: why do Ed, Ralph, and Keesterman all look like they’re talking? Only one of them should be talking. Ralph appears to be taking a bite. But his expression doesn’t match that action, unless that is the wryest piece of apple pie in culinary history.

When I made that Luann crossover parody, I spent a lot of time editing mouths, so that only the person speaking had their mouth open. And Tom Batiuk can’t put in that level of effort? Even when his entire comic strip can be built from Colorforms at this point? And when he’s getting paid to do this, and I’m not?

The Game Is On!

That insufferable jackass Batton Thomas is back to drone on about nothing while Skip pays rapt attention. Which means it’s time to evalulate the bets I solicited!

G1. When will the next week of the Batton Death March begin? May 18. One point if you got it right.

G2. Will Skip start the week by making a comment about “continuing the interview”? Skip said “so you talked the last time about…,” so that’s a Yes. One point if you got it right. He doesn’t have to say those exact words.

G3. Where will they meet? Not 100% confirmed, but it looks like Montoni’s, which is worth half a point. I’m sure Mindy will be by on Wednesday to drop off the pizza. (TUESDAY UPDATE: The presence of Ed, Ralph, and Keesterman in the background suggests they are at Dale Evans instead. And maybe that Batiuk is feeling some pressure to at least pretend Ed Crankshaft is still the main character.)

G4. What recording device will Skip use? Skip’s cell phone is visible. Half a point.

A7. How many times will Skip smirk? Wow, twice already, and it’s only Monday. We’ll count again at the end of the week.

M4. Who will Batton name-drop? Nobody yet, but I’m going to make a ruling that it has to be a real person. His “band director character” is obviously Dinkle, but that’s not what I’m looking for here.

M6. Will Batton act like a complete jackass at some point? Of course, he already has. Take your .0001 point and get out of here.

M7. Will Batton talk about doing actual work on Three O’Clock High or The Wrinkles? He mentions Bizarro Dinkle becoming popular, but that’s not the same as doing actual work. So not yet, but it could still happen this week.

M8. How many of the seven deadly sins will Batton commit? I’m counting today’s strip as Gluttony. Batton has spoken at so many potluck dinners that he got Tupperware poisoning, implying that he must have consumed a massive amount of the food there.

Also, I’m going to make a general ruling here: simply meeting at Montoni’s counts as Gluttony. Dale Evans, by itself, doesn’t count as gluttony, since they have some non-gluttonous offerings. Even if they’re just things Ed Crankshaft orders to do one of his stupid puns.

That’s everything I can evaluate so far, because the others are weeklong totals, or they are for events that can still happen later this week. By the end of the week (including a possible Sunday), this post will be a complete list of all the wagers that were offered. And I’ll tally up a winner of those of you who made selections.

Ian’s Drunken Beard is the early leader:

G1 – May 18

G2 – Yes

G4 – cell phone

M6 – Yes

That’s 2.5001 points! And some of his other plays like “7 smirks” and “6 deadly sins” look pretty good so far.

After this week, I’ll calculate the totals, and standardize the set of offerings going forward.

WEDNESDAY UPDATE: We have a sideways panel, and some early artwork. That would fulfill the following:

A5. Will there be a sideways strip? 1 point, of 5 if there is a second one later this week.

A6. What early Tom Batiuk artwork will appear? This appears to be real-life pre-Funky Winkerbean artwork, which is worth 1.5 points if we can confirm it. Let me know if you can, or there’s a blog post explaining it.

THURSDAY UPDATE: Today we learn that “Harry Finkle” will straight-up commit murder, Crankshaft-Pop Clutch style, to sell band candy. Surprisingly, this doesn’t violate any new deadly sins. It’s not Wrath, because it’s not motivated by hatred. There doesn’t seem to be a deadly sin that covers what we would modern law would call “criminal negligence” or “involuntary manslaughter.”

Which makes me question whether the 7 Deadly Sins bet is viable. Batton either breaks them constantly (Pride, Sloth); never breaks them (Wrath); or are things Tom Batiuk would never have one of his own “good” characters do (Lust). Gluttony is largely a function of where/what they’re eating. Greed only manifests itself in the Funkyverse in the form of highly valuable comic books. As for Envy, Batton doesn’t commit this sin so much as he inspires others to commit it. The encounter with his wannabe rockstar neighbor right after he got his cartoonist gig is a perfect example.

I’ll honor the wager for this week, but I don’t think it’ll be part of the game going forward. (And yes, there will be a game going forward.)

FRIDAY UPDATE: We have the Batton face! That hits the easiest target on wager A1.

SATURDAY UPDATE: That word zeppelin isn’t quite big enough to fulfill A2. Will there be a word balloon that is more than half the size of the panel?

I will post a final tally after Sunday’s strip. (Sunday strips count, if the strip is related to the Batton Thomas interviews.)

Betton Thomas

Before I came to SoSF, I was a contributor to a college sports blog, where I also ran a play-money betting contest. So I speak the language of odds and vigorish and parlays. Tapping into that experience will be my latest approach to dealing with the Batton Death March. I love playful betting!

Since Tom Batiuk is snarking himself so hard there’s no reason for us to bother anymore, I’m setting up a little contest! Make predictions about the next installment of the Batton Thomas interview. (Because we all know there’s going to be another installment.) Score points if your prediction is correct. Choose from 20 different bets!

Make choices, and score a total number of points based on the difficulty of the prediction. -1 point for any incorrect choice. Make a comment listing your choices, and the bet number for each. After each week ends, I’ll tally the sore. If you want to review previous weeks, I’ve been keeping the Compleat Batton Thomas post updated.

RULES: All bets are for the entire week. Sunday strips count, if they feature Batton Thomas. Each panel counts as a separate mention. (So if Skip smirks in two different panels of the same strip, that counts as two smirks for bet #A7.) The house (i.e., me) judges all bets.

General

G1. When will the next week of the Batton Death March begin?

April 27, May 4, May 11, May 18, May 25 (1 point each), June (2 points), later in 2026 (3 points), not at all in 2026 (10,000 points)

G2. Will Skip start the week by making a comment about “continuing the interview”?

Yes or No (1 point each)

G3. Where will they meet?

Montoni’s (.5 point), Batton’s studio, Centerview Sentinel offices, Dale Evans, Komix Korner (1 point each), a location from Tom Batiuk’s personal life (1.5 points), none of these (2 points). 10 points for a specific new location which you name.

G4. What recording device will Skip use?

None (1 point), pen and paper (2 points), cell phone (0.5 points), other (3 points)

Artwork

A1. How many times will this image be used?

Not at all (2.5 points), once (0.1 point), two or more times (2.5 points). Mirrored versions, smaller versions, and slightly edited versions of the image count.

A2. Will there be a word balloon that is more than half the size of the panel?

Yes, No (1 point each), More Than One (4 points)

A3. How many flashback images will there be?

None (2 points), Only One (.5 points), More Than One (1 point)

A4. Will a flashback image include a real person?

Yes, No (1 point each), More Than One (1.5 points). 5 points for any real person you can name.

A5. Will there be a sideways strip?

Yes, No (1 point each), More Than One (5 points)

A6. What early Tom Batiuk artwork will appear?

None (0.5 points), his childhood drawings (1.5 points), pre-Funky Winkerbean work such as Rapping Around (2 points), Funky Winkerbean art (2.5 points), childhood drawings by someone else (5 points)

A7. How many times will Skip smirk?

1 point per smirk, but your guess has to be exactly right. 10,000 points if you predict zero smirks and are correct.

A8. What intellectual property will be appropriated?

DC or Marvel characters (.1 point), characters from other comic strips (.5 points) someone else’s artwork, but you can name the person (2 points).

Subject Matter

M1. Will Batton mention comic books?

No (2 points), Only Once (.1 points), More Than Once (2 points)

M2. In which of the following ways will comic books appear?

Batton failing to get a job at DC or Marvel (.1 point), a comic book cover Batton had no stated role in creating (.1 points), a comic book cover Batton helped create (.2 points), collectible value (.3 points), writing for comic books (.5 points).

M3. Will Batton quote someone?

Yes (1.5 points), No (.5 points). 10 points if you can name them specifically,

M4. Who will Batton name-drop?

5 points for anyone you can name specifically. 10 points if that person hasn’t appeared yet.

M5. Who will Batton bash?

5 points for anyone you can name specifically. 10 points if that person hasn’t appeared yet.

M6. Will Batton act like a complete jackass at some point?

Yes (.0001 points), No (10000 points)

M7. Will Batton talk about doing actual work on Three O’Clock High or The Wrinkles?

Yes (.0001 points), No (10000 points)

M8. How many of the seven deadly sins will Batton commit?

One point for each, but you have to get it exactly right

Roll Your Own!

If you want to make a bet on something other than the above, post it in your comment, and I’ll offer a payout.